Rants

I can never tell if the comments on this website are the work of genius meta-trolls, or if everyone who leaves a comment is just too fucking stupid to get the joke.

Speaking only from personal experience, everyone I've met loves their mother tongue. Mine is obviously not english, but as a second language I pretty much adore it. It gives me a greater vocabulary through which I can express myself and alot of the things I love are in English. That is why it baffles me everytime I see the disrespect Americans have for their language! Where I... Read More » come from (And I am certain it is the same for many others, Including many Americans) speaking and writing correctly is an honor and when someone corrects you, you thank them for making you a little smarter or if you think they are wrong, you talk about it, get a 3rd or 4th opinion, but you do not rest untill you get it right! One thing is for sure there is nothing in my culture equivalent to "Grammer Nazi" the ONLY people who make spelling or grammer errors even on something as basic as a Facebook posts are people who suffer from dyslexia!! So please for the love of languages everywhere, take care of yours and in turn it will take care of you. Love, Rest of the world.

In my math class there is a small group of people who I really think TRY to interfere with my learning. I made the mistake of not paying attention in a previous math class and re-doing it. So, I'm actually trying to learn something. These people talk and talk and talk. The teacher moves them away from each other and they innocently complain that she (the teacher) is 'unfair'.... Read More » They talk back to the teacher constantly and obnoxiously yell at each other across the room. They also complain to me and other students that they don't ever learn anything in that class and that the teacher sucks; they haven't payed attention in class for more than 5 minutes at a time!!! They all really wonder why they're failing math, and are still trying to figure why I don't want to hear them bitch to me about them failing. Advice: not disrupting class everyday and paying attention may actually HELP you. Though, I doubt any of them understand the phrase 'paying attention'. Like, who does that these days right?

For cereal Collegehumor, what have you done to uPICK? It has pretty much died since you put it under the more section and also rough love just isn't the same as "dating it's complicated". I loved those articles and I miss them a whole lot. I want dating it's complicated articles back even if they're just on a random schedule and not weekly. Rabble, rabble, rabble angry face >:(

The so-called comedy 21 & Over is offensive. Not because it’s racist, sexist, homophobic and cruel, but because it’s racist, sexist, homophobic and cruel in a dull, monotonous way.

Is it just me, or do you guys get annoyed whenever someone brags about how they never need to solve for x or use any math in their lives? If you are one of those people, youre missing the point of high school and college. Schools are meant to show you a wide variety of human education in the hopes of you finding a certain subject youre interested in, and also to teach you stuff... Read More » so you arent completely stupid once you enter the real world. Some subjects might come in handy, some might not. I, for instance, am a physics major, so I have no reason to learn anymore English. However, I took years of english classes because i wouldnt be sure if i liked it or not if i only took one. If you aren't interested in math, and want to pursue a career in something that has no math (like law, music, english,....law) then thats fine. But dont act all self righteous because you dont need math. Other people absolutely require math. How the hell do you think we got a rover on Mars? By math. Math that couldnt be taught in one class, but over the course of many. Another point those people miss is what math really is. It's not there so you can make tons of money. It's there so we as a species can understand the world we live in. History is the same. You dont need it to be rich, but it's there so we can learn about ourselves and the universe. So basically, stop complaining about math. If you're bad at it, then that's fine. It doesnt mean that math is useless. Is it just me that thinks that? TL;DR Math is more important than you think, even if you hate it.

SO, to start, i currently reside in a five story dorm room for college (on the 5th floor). It is used as an apartment in the summer as well...not important. Now, one of my biggest pet peeves is when a group of people enter the elevator to go up ONE BLOODY FLOOR! Why the fuck are you taking the elevator ONE floor! Are you really that fraking lazy to take the stairs? Now, i have... Read More » a created some elevator etiquette people should follow (obviously you can do what you want but this is just considerate). 1. You should only go up (or down) one floor is you are carrying laundry, carrying food (like pizza or beer), or if you are moving in or out. 2. People going up 2 floors are fine but it's still 2 floors, its some decent exercise people. 3. Any other amount of floors up are fine but people should really get some exercise. After a long day of classes, it's a relief to take an elevator up 4 floors to my room and nap. Its the worst when some ass hat makes you stop one floor up. Just my rant.

I feel bad for guys who think that being an atheist means I hate God. I don't believe in him, ergo I can't hate him. Whatever you're preconceived notion of what Atheism is about is wrong. I do not hate you or think you're stupid for believing in something bigger than everything else. I just don't think you are right. I blame the internet for this. With a lot of the "free-thinking"... Read More » rampant on the web, people preach atheism to others, starting mundane debates that will not convince anybody on either side. All of it is just a waste of data and bandwidth. Being an atheist is not supposed to be cool, It's not a religion.

I just had a rather irritating conversation with a person on a passenger ferry. He saw I was reading a book, and thought that he might grace me with his conversation regarding his thoughts on it. I listened patiently, and he invited me to share my own observations and when I did, I could see the consternation on his face suggesting he had no idea how to prove to me how intelligent... Read More » he was. This is when the conversation took a random trajectory and he began sharing every obscure and irrelevant fact he had picked up while searching the library for the dustiest books in the collection just to have a niche piece of information he could be the resident expert on. I could tell he was an idiot, because he would frequently cite other authors and tell me what they said, rather than formulating his own thoughts on the matter. He used large words he clearly had no idea the meaning of, and mashed them together the way kids build forts from random scraps of wood. He would talk over me when I began speaking, wouldn't let me answer the questions he would ask, and then in the most arrogant way he could muster would try to tell me how worthwhile my pursuit was. Thanks douche, I was actually seeking your validation, that's why I was sitting alone and quietly writing notes in an isolated corner of the boat. Anyway, he got pissy and left finally when I let him know I wasn't gay (oddly enough, by smashing his phone against the table). A lesson to all of you who are patient with people: learn to tell em to fuck off. A lesson to those who pester people: fuck off.

Saw a post that got under my skin the other day. It said "Guy's if your girlfriend takes you back after you broke her heart, marry her" Please understand that I fully agree, and that is a lovely sentiment, but there is a bigger issue here not being addressed. Why are you WASTING your time with such a loser? If he wasn't smart enough to figure out what a catch you are, then he's... Read More » not good enough to keep around. In conclusion, men and women are equally stupid in two different ways when it comes to relationships. 1. Men have no sense about keeping a good woman(usually). 2. Women have no sense about finding a good man. (99.9% of the time) Girls please do us all a favor, and date the nice guy you friend-zoned!

stop with all the "10 points to Gryffindor" comments wizards shouldn't get points every single time some dude phucks his fat girlfriend. its getting super old, in the way whenever someone says something is "epic". in any case, such mundane victories would be a better suited Hufflepuff win

I realise in your culture, girls should do the cleaning, but in my world we should all do equal share. So when I'm cleaning the kitchen please do not say "the landing needs hoovered you can do that next week," or "since you are putting up posters in here you can tidy it." When was the last time you did any communal cleaning. If you want it tidy you tidy it. Stop being so sexist!... Read More » My job isn't to cater to your every domestic need. P.S. stop giving me your opinion on everything! I don't care if you think the milk brand I buy isn't as good as yours. IT IS FRICKING MILK. IF I WANT YOUR OPINION I WILL ASK FOR IT, I JUST WANT TO EAT BREAKFAST. JUST STOP TALKING

This may be along the straw man line of reasoning but more of an aggregate, but I am sick of people thinking that simply reading some work of philosophy or other eclectic topic makes them a genius and so well informed of the greater world. First of all, you sit in public spaces with Rouseau, Locke, Aristotle or some other great thinker splayed out on your lap like that is enough... Read More » to convince people you have something interesting to say. You don't. You spend most of your time regurgitating the most popular quotes from the book without adding context or critique, nor following the line of reasoning which led to their conclusions. Real philosophers sat in dark rooms, isolated from the distractions of the public and lived lonely shut in lives. They were modest and ashamed of their own unique views on the world because the body public did not have a concensus view of their opinions, and that is what they offered, opinions with their rationale. If the public did, it wouldn't be a cherished masterpiece that changed the way people view the world it, it would have been the equivalent of the latest pop culture rag. Second, rolling joints off the pages doesn't contribute to your understanding of the material. A sober mind is required to comprehend sober thoughts. Third, an open display of books you clearly have never read does not contribute to your image as the wizened youth. Wisdom comes from having tried and failed and coming up with a solution to why you failed and trying again, perhaps failing perhaps not. You cannot obtain wisdom by reading someone else's works and believing you have seen the boundaries of the universe through them. The written word is meant to inspire, not instruct, though it offers instructions only as a way for you to be confidently inspired. Fourth, plenty of those philosophers and theorists are completely batshit crazy, their ideas cannot work in reality, because it implies either a) public stupidity and willingness to cooperate (Marx) or, b) absolute anarchic intent of the human heart. Neither of which has ever proven wholly true, except in special circumstances and only temporarily. So please, if you want to be a philosopher, preaching world peace offer solutions, not plagiarized rants. Understand how the world works first, find the leverage points, and then an appropriate lever to move it. Otherwise, you're just another future disgruntled grocery store clerk with a college degree the world will never understand. Ever wonder why those people start revolutions for Utopia, and find themselves the first in front of the firing squad? Its because they are impractical idiots who only offer rhetoric and not results. That is the public plagiarist philosopher today, and the corpse tomorrow.

I'm not sure what my overdramatic neighbors were arguing about last night, but at one point I overheard the line "..and I'm tired of you hiding the burnt pancake in the middle of the stack!". There was a brief silence after that.

Chain/group texts are the fucking stupidest idea I've ever had the misfortune of experiencing. The text will start out like a normal conversation between two people, but then like 20 other friends or family members start texting about the same subject, and you don't know who, what where why when how the fuck to respond! It's a pain in the ass. NO I don't want to go to your goddamn... Read More » birthday extravaganza if it involves me filling my phone inbox with thousands of comments not directed at me. Fuck you group text...fuck you

If you kick your friends once you're in a relationship, Well those friends you kicked out will tell you to fuck off & never wanted to be friends with you again.

Today I realized how good are girls at holding secrets... in groups of about 40.

I have never understood hipsters. Why would you stop liking something if it becomes popular? If you like something, shouldn't you be HAPPY when more people start enjoying it and sharing the love? If only you and a small group of people like something, that means it's either poorly advertised, a really small movement, and/or it's just plain s***.

I just saw a picture showing a guy sitting next to two girls making out whilst checking his phone. Behind him is a girl with a short skirt and part of her arse on show. It was captioned to the effect that he must be gay. As a hetrosexual man I am seriously insulted. Is the impression that people have of us so bad that it believes that any hint of pornographic or sexual behavior... Read More » that immediately has to be the primary focus? How objectifying is that of both men and women to say that in such a situation the primary focus has to be seeking sexual gratification from looking at another person, and unless you are voyeuristic you must not find women attractive? This attitude seems to be at the heart of a lot of problems and phenomena that the internet propagates. All this crap about the freindzone has at the heart of it the belief that every man may view his female friends in a sexual manner and it is wrong of them not to accept that. (as a man that once friendzoned a female friend I do find this part especially laughable). Its the same damn thing as above. A girl is a bitch if a man is in the freindzone because she should go out with "the good guy." A guy must be gay if he isn't drooling at the sight of a pair of female buttocks. It is stupid and fucking ridiculous that even in the 21st century our society is so divided that the relationship between men and women seems to still be one of sex or rejection with no normal fucking interactions at all.

I work in a restaurant like other people that are attending college. I was given a "title" which means I have to bust my ass, do what the GM tells me, and not bitch. I am also responsible for babysitting children age 18-45. I don't fucking get it? Seriously, the people that I am in charge of have no god damn clue as to what a hard day or work is. I'm 28 so I've had my chance to... Read More » party, get fucked up, chase pussy and act like a complete lunatic. The thing is I can still out party all you clowns, and still be ready at the time the schedule says to be. Anytime I make an appearance at the bar where am I between 8-4 the next/same day? Right there in the kitchen working circles around your soft ass'. You're young and "YOLO", I get it, Your only making $9.00 an hour, I get it. If I were you at your age I'd be mad as fuck, but I would A)Walk the fuck out. B) Put my 2 weeks in C) Ask all management why the fuck I haven't gotten a raise. But I wouldn't come to work with a chip on my shoulder actin like I don't give a fuck. Because if I see YOU don't give a fuck about your job, then why should I give a fuck to pay you? That was for the age group 18 - 35. As for the rest. GROW THE FUCK UP!!! A lot of people are unhappy with where they are in life. I figured I would already be done with school but hey, whatever. It's life. Anyway, how the fuck are you gonna try and grab raw beef with your hand and then turn the fuck around and put your bacteria infested hand all over ready to eat food? You walk around work like your some hot shit, hittin on girls that are young enough to be your children, talkin about how you managed this place and that, had your own place, blah blah blah blah fucking blah. NOBODY BELIEVES YOU DUDE. I know that once I'm done with school and I have a job, assuming I am higher on the corporate totem pole than you, I am going to compare every employee to you fucking degenerates. If they're unfortunate enough to show any qualities you fucks have, they will be terminated and/or denied employment. How hard is it to come to work to actually WORK? Are we suppose to pay you so you can stand around talking to your friends while orders are not being made? FUCK NO! I HATE YOU. With this rant, I do solemnly swear, that I, will from now until I quit, punish, fire, and make your lives at work, so unbearable, you walk out, all while, being professional, maintaining my composure, and not going berserk on all of you.