My girlfriend and I were watching movies when I started to get a bit frisky, grabbing at her lady parts. "Not so fast," she said, "you need to grind first." Confused, I told her that dry humping hurts me. "No I mean grind for experience points, you need to romance me a bit before you get access to those levels." I nearly fell off the couch... Read More »
cop props
I love sex in public, and used to live in a small mountain town so got away with it most of the time. one night my ex and i were getting pretty into it under a tree in the rain when a cop flashes his light on us. busted i stand up with a hand over my package to go talk to him. first thing he says is don't leave a trail of clothes next time, second thing he does is give me a... Read More »
#2
Sorry buddy.
An ex and I were hooking up on my couch while she was on her period. We put a towel down, so we didn't stain the couch. Hours later we got home from the bar with my buddy who was really hammered. He layed right on the towel. After cracking up for 5 minutes I had to slide it out. He'll never know, but the world needed to.
#4
How To Kill The Mood
So I was playing Xbox when my girlfriend came downstairs. I decided to take a break from the game. We were making out on the couch, and things were getting pretty hot. Well while we were making out my friends were talking in party chat. When my controller turned off the timing couldn't be better, because for you who don't know when your controller is off the voices come from... Read More »
#5
phone sex
I really like going down on my girlfriend when she's on the phone with someone else because of how belabored her voice sounds trying to stay neutral. She's not very good at it. Usually she'll let out a moan (but turns it into a yawn). When she's talking in polish I get really into it for some reason, and I make her finish much quicker, usually before the conversation is... Read More »
#6
Valentines Day ruins WoW application.
I play World of Warcraft(make jokes later), I was applying to get into a new raiding guild to actually progress on current content, and the recruiter was really into what I was bringing to the guild. They told me their raid times, which are Tuesday and Thursday, 8-10:30. He asked if I could start this week, and I said "I have Valentines Day this week, and would be... Read More »
#7
Ride this Chocobo
My boyfriend recently purchased Final Fantasy XIII-2 and got the soundtrack with it. On the soundtrack is an amazing song called Crazy Chocobo in which there is a lyric "So you think you can ride this Chocobo." He turned to me and asked that very question to which I responded I am fully capable of riding his Chocobo. That night I did just that while both of us... Read More »
#8
Paper Towels
Despite what the movies or media might have you believe, sex is usually pretty messy. Usually we use paper towels or something to help clean up after the fact. What has started happening when things start getting heated during our late-night escapades is my girlfriend will whisper "Do you want me to get the paper towels?" and that's when I know it's game on. Who... Read More »
#9
backseat escapades
I was really daring inn high school and when my now ex gf invited for a weekend away with her dad agreed. Her dad really liked me and we had a really good weekend, but on the way back me and her were sitting in the backseat. We had had sexy times there but she got me to start ...using my hands while her dad was driving. for about an hour i toyed with her without her dad... Read More »
#10
Wife Material
Once, after really intense sex with a high school crush I had recently reconnected with, the first thing she said to me while we were both still trying to catch our breath was "You must hungry from doing all that work, want me to make you a sandwich?"......I almost proposed.
Mission Impossible Sex
My ex-girlfriend and I had just started having sex recently. Her house was empty so we took advantage and we took the action to her parents room on the second floor. After 10 minutes or so, we hear the front door open, and her parents walk in. She shoves me out onto the patio where we both know they'll see me. Seeing no other option, I jumped off their balcony perfectly into... Read More »
Uncensored and Unshaved
After having sex with my boyfriend, the lady part down below was feeling weird so asked my boyfriend to take a picture with my iphone so I could see what it looked like. A week later I am sitting in physics class and I am really bored. So I decide to show my best friend sitting next to me vacation photos I had on my iphone. The 2 guys sitting next to us also wanted to see.... Read More »
Call of Duty
So my girlfriend just finished giving me a blow job. she layed beside me for not 3 minutes and then broke out and said, "Wanna play Call of Duty?" I picked a winner.
Naps
My boyfriend and I have a code name for masturbating, we call it "napping". On occasion though he can be quite dense and forgetful and not quite understand/realize that I'm flirting. One day while I was bored in class I texted him asking what he was doing, he replied "Taking a nap." I then asked him "All alone?" as to start up some flirting. He... Read More »
This Calls for Applause...
When my boyfriend and I had been dating for about 3 months, I decided to be real nice and give him a blow job. He was very nervous but we parked where we thought it was deserted and I went to work. As I was going, a Security Guard drives by. We paid it no mind and I finished him off. As we are leaving however, we see the Security Guy, who looks not much older we are. He... Read More »
Bad Explanation
My girlfriend and I play this game where when we are laying on the couch I use her hands to gently hit herself and then I say why are you hitting yourself and it is usually pretty funny. But then we went out with one of her friends and her boyfriend for the first time, and at dinner they were talking about this cute game they play and my girlfriend shouts sometimes Thomas... Read More »
Plan B Vending Machinie
So apparently my school (Shippensburg University) has a vending machine that sells Plan B for $25. So if you're looking for a college to have condom-free sex, Ship would be a good place to start looking.
