Work Sucks

I work at McDonalds, and we have recently started selling "McBites" (it's popcorn chicken) We sell chicken nuggets and chicken selects by the number (4 piece, 10 piece etc) but since bites are so small, we don't count them out, we just scoop them into what ever size box you pick. One day we were particularly busy and I had an especially long line, a man wanted to... Read More » order some of the bites. He asked how many pieces came in the largest box. I stupidly replied "I don't know the exact amount sir" to which he insulted me asking how we could have a new product and I know nothing about it. I responded "We don't actually count the pieces since they are bite sized sir, we sell these by weight not by how many bites are in the box" This reply infuriated him, to which he exploded angrily, further insulted my intelligence, and then stormed out. I pity this man, buying cereal must be total hell for him.

February 22, 2012

I work for Lowe's Home Improvement as a customer service associate. We get all kinds of stupid people and I knew that going into the job. A lot of people come from inside Philadelphia to our store, even though it's such a far trip. This one guy comes in with his daughter complaining that a saleswoman miscut his window blinds. I told him that I'd cut his blinds for him to... Read More » avoid any trouble. He told me that his blinds had been cut to 28 inches or more and he wanted them cut down. He handed me a slip of paper with the measurements on it , which read "27 1/2 and 5/8 inches". I assumed he meant he wanted 5/8 inch blinds cut to 27 and 1/2 inches. I cut them and came back to the desk where the man measured them and told me they were way off. I cut them again to 27 and 1/2 inches and even measured them myself before returning to the desk. He asked for a manager. Before I go any further into this ridiculous story, let me mention that carpenter's tape measures have eighths and quarters written out in addition to the half marks, so each tape reads 1/8 then 1/4 then 3/8 and so on. When my manager came up I explained the situation and he asked the man exactly what he wanted cut. Then his daughter starts trying to explain to us what 27 1/2 means. Then the man cuts her off, takes my manager's tape measure and points to 27 1/2, then counts over to 27 5/8 and says "twenty-seven and one half... and FIVE EIGHTHS!" He thought we were stupid but this mean clearly doesn't know how to read a tape measure. He doesn't even understand how fractions work, thinking that 27 and 5/8 was read 27 and 1/2 and 5/8! How this guy made it as a carpenter amazes me. So many houses are probably collapsing as we speak.

February 22, 2012

I work in customer service at a big name home improvement retailer. Every time I get a complaint on the phone the customer demands to know my name. I always tell them David, and only because there are more David's in our store than any other name. When they ask for a manager I call one of my friends from another department. He answers the call, gives the name of an actual... Read More » manager and proceeds to act like an asshole before hanging up. Today I wondered, "How have either of us kept our jobs?"

February 22, 2012

One time while working at Mcdonalds, while making a quarter pounder my co-worker told me that the burger was not made in time so I replied, "A quarter us never late nor early", but before I could finish the line myself, one of the managers said, "It arrives precisely when it is needed." After that I assumed most people knew gandalf quotes as well as I did... Read More » so later that week I was cleaning the floor in a space that could only fit one person as a different manager tried to walk past me, I hit the broom on the ground and said "You shall not pass" in the best gandalf voice I could do. Unfortunately he did not get the reference and explaining why I did that was quite embarrassing.

February 22, 2012

My boss is a complete nut. The other day, I asked her a question regarding a form I was creating for our website, her response: 20 minutes of sobbing at her desk. I don't even know where the tears came from or why. She just sobbed. And it was one of those sobs where you don't know if it's your fault or what you should do. So I sat there, listening to her sob, for 20... Read More » minutes. My boss also stalks her ex-boyfriend...and brings me along. Once we were on our way to a meeting, when she made us detour for 20 minutes so she could look at his balcony. To see if he still had chairs outside. She concluded that he had moved. Good for him, is all I gotta say.

February 22, 2012

I used to sell software to college bookstores and traveled quite a bit. One destination was to a small college in the deep south (I live in Philly). I was talking with the bookstore manager and every two minutes or so he would tell me a painfully racist joke. After about the 3rd or 4th joke, I looked the guy straight in the eye and said, "you DO realize that my wife... Read More » is African American, don't you"?. The guy nearly shit his pants, apologized for about a half hour and ended up paying for my lunch. The best part is that my wife is German, but he didn't need to know that...

February 22, 2012

I was running errands with a little girl I nanny, picking up some groceries for her mother before she came home that night. She started to throw a tantrum in the bakery, so I took her aside and started to chastise her, telling her to settle down or she would go in time out when we got back home. Just as she started to cry and I became frustrated, an old woman came up to me... Read More » and said in a very demeaning tone, "This is why you shouldn't have children so young." All I wanted to do is look at her and say, "Bitch, do I look like I had a kid at 13?!" but of course, I just replied with, "This is not my child, I am a nanny."

February 22, 2012

I used to work for an Arts and Crafts chain-store. I started in an older smaller store, but over the course of a few months we ended up moving into a new warehouse sized store. One night my manager who was a total dick told me to sweep up the warehouse store two hours before the store closed something we had never done before. I told him the floors would just get dirty again... Read More » from all the dried flowers and vines and what not. He got upset, yelled at me and I ended up sweeping the floor. Two hours later we closed and like I said the floors were dirty again. He yelled at me I did not sweep it the first time and not only made me sweep it again he made me do it a third time while he watched to make sure I listen to him from now on. It's now around midnight and I'm tired for working my 8-9 hour day. My manager then comes over and tells me I have to show up tomorrow at 5 am at the old store to help clean it out. Not knowing any better I show up to the old store to see my other manager sitting at a table with some of the female employees. Their job was to sort all the miscellaneous items while sitting in nice chairs in the warm building. My job was to spend 8 hours moving 20 years worth of junk, heavy boxes, trash and anything else heavy to a dumpster that was 20 feet away from the store crossing the road that was a sheet of ice. The manager spent all day flirting with the girls, calling me a "pussy" when I needed help moving heavy items into the dumpster and buying lunch for everyone but me because he "forgot about me" while I was in the back. It's ok a week later the store was totally moved and I was laid off.

February 22, 2012

The summer after my freshman year of college I was the manager of the local pool back home. Besides working 50 hours a week, 7 days a week, I also had two cranky old ladies at the local city office who besides spending most of their days playing Solitaire, enjoyed finding reasons to give me grief. This ranged from scolding me for letting the lifeguards twirl their whistles... Read More » while on guard to telling me off because some mother complained to them for yelling at them because their bratty kids were breaking the rules. But the following instance topped it all off. One Monday I came to their office to turn in the weekly earnings. She counted the money in front of me (guess I'm not trustworthy) and compared it to the amount of people who came to make sure it was balanced, which it was. After counting the money she looked up and said "Next time you need to make sure all the bills are facing the same way face up." I guess I didn't realize banks don't accept money unless its sorted otherwise.

February 22, 2012

I work as a waiter at a fancy restaurant, so when it comes to Valentines day, we are pretty busy. One of the tables I was waiting on was a young couple, about the same age as I am. They have dinner pretty normally, nothing out of the ordinary until just before they were ready to have their entrees taken. The guy just shows up at the door to the kitchen and waits their until... Read More » I show up. He then explains to me that he is going to propose to his girlfriend at the restaurant by means of the engagement ring in a champagne glass (I know, cliche)... I'm pretty stoked though, because obviously its pretty awesome to be involved in somebody's proposal. So, I go to all the odds and ends to have the ring prepared real nice and placed in a glass, and I go out to do my best show for the couple. As soon as I arrive however, the girl breaks down, makes a scene, clearly says no, and just walks out of the restaurant. Leaving both the guy and me standing there looking awkward. I'm so sorry, man!

February 21, 2012

I work at an adult couples "boutique" where we sell toys and adult DVDs in an affluent area. The management has put into effect something that says for women with large purses the purses must be left on the counter to deter theft. At my new store, a woman with a giant-mostly empty-Louis V. Purse comes into the store and I ask her politely to please leave her bag on... Read More » the counter. She starts screaming at me how she's has been in my store many times before and never had to leave her purse there. So I ask her instead to zip it up and stand there watching her like a hawk while she's shopping. She notices me staring and starts screaming about how we don't trust her and she will never come back again. then she CONTINUES SHOPPING. As she's leaving, I say as politely as I can muster,"Have a great day ma'am". She doesn't even bother looking at me and instead says "I would except YOU ruined it". Every other customer in the store looked at me with pity.

February 21, 2012

so the first real job i had i was an apprentice, i knew that it meant i was to do crap job but it turned out the crap job i would be doing was cleaning the bosses personal washroom for 7 hours. i had no problem with this at first but everyday after i had to clean it after he took a shit. one day he had this really hot girl in for a tune up and so i had to clean the washroom... Read More » with the door and vents closed , i ended up passing out from the smell of shit and the fumes from the cleaners and spent 5 hours before anyone found me, i even got yelled at for being lazy.

February 21, 2012

I work at a party ware shop selling balloons etc to the public. One day a woman comes in and asks for 4 number balloons (the huge ones that are 40 inches high) so I proceed to blow them up with helium and begin to put them in a big bag when she stops me and says she's come on her bike and she's going to tie them to the handlebars. I point out (incredulously) that it's going... Read More » to be very difficult to cycle with balloons on the handlebars and they might fly away but she waves me away saying she'll be fine. She pays, ties on the balloons and cycles off, leaving me thinking she's mad. An hour later she walks back in again, she's me and sheepishly asks for 4 more balloons. I ask if they came off the handlebars, she says no, she got them all the way home, untied them but she lost hold of one of them and in a panic she grabbed for it...with the hand holding the other balloons. What amazed me most was that she came back and admitted it!

February 21, 2012

I work at a remote location with supervisors that love to task me with running reports for them that are due quickly (even though they knew a month in advance that this was due). On Monday I was tasked with a very long report that I had to create that included every employee on the books for the year 2011 (current and past) and the amount of hours each person worked for each... Read More » month. Today after almost getting it done, I was told "Never mind as the report was no longer necessary and the information was available all this time, all my manager had to do was find the spreadsheet that kept track and included all of the information (which was in his work drive).

February 21, 2012

I work for tech support support iPhones and iPads. A lot of people own these products as you can imagine; including those who need a 30 minute explanation of what a "password" is, and who require 2 hours and 50 minutes of time to check emails that he's already seen. Welcome to AppleCare.

February 21, 2012

I work at a supermarket as a checkout girl. One day I had a man come to my till who seemed a little mentally unhinged, but I scanned his shopping and he packed it without any problems. However when it came to pay, he started to count out his money, trying to get the exact change, which I didn't think was too weird, but he took a while and I could already see he had enough.... Read More » He then turned around the customer behind him if they had 2p, which is when it started to get a bit weird. Thinking he was short, they offered him a 10p coin, which he said he didn't want, the other customer tried to insist because he'd already taken a while and they obviously just wanted to get through the till, the man suddenly got pretty angry and shouted 'No, that's not 2p! I don't want it!' and then he asked the customer behind them if they had 2p and so on, and then the customers at the other till. Everyone in the queue was getting pretty annoyed at this point, so I just took what he'd put in front of me already and gave him the change. He looked horrified at what I'd given him and took his shopping and proceeded to jump in front of everyone walking out of the shop, asking for 2p. Finally someone gave him a 2p coin and he came back to my till to change it and the other change to a 10p coin.. He REALLY didn't want too many coins.

February 21, 2012

My first job was at a produce store in highschool. I would grab boxes of fruit outta the freezer and stack em up. After a few days my bosses learned that my sense of smell was shot (working with bleach alot as a kid) so they had me clean out the back dock. When they unloaded open-topped boxes of produce from the trucks, some fell out and cooked in the sun for a while,... Read More » soon this turned into a vile green slurry of goop in a matter of hours. A large part of my day was using a shovel to get said goop over my head into a tall dumpster, often getting said goop all over me. I was not permitted to wash up until the entire store was swept and the fruit put back in the sub-zero freezer, which i also had to clean, in a T-shirt.

February 20, 2012

I use to work at a Military Rec. Center in the boat rental. The rules were easy 1.first come first serve, 2.rank does not matter, 3.and have a military id, will travel; they could rent boats and go fishing or partying. 6 months prior to graduating boot camp a group of marines reserved the "party barge" (BIG a$$ pontoon) this also happened to be Memorial Weekend.... Read More » Soo, the fresh little newbie's have loaded up the party barge with beer and what not and this Navy Admiral walks up without reservations and orders them to "Disembark and relinquish" the boat. All the new marines snap to attention and start unloading. The admiral than orders them to leave there fishing equipment and beer to save him time and expense. Seeing this I walk up and inform the Admiral "no reservations, no boat, your sol." Admiral orders to see my boss (I am the boss) and say "go to the big white house in DC and file your complaint there" Admiral "What's your name and rank! I'll have you marshaled!" Me "my name is ___" having no rank because I'm a civilian I stick my butt out and while pointing to my posterior "my rank is kiss this." Mr. Admiral d!ck wad storms off mumbling something about MPs and I help the marines out of the dock and with them a happy party. I do so love p!ssing of military officers.

February 17, 2012

While working (and sadly still am) at McDonald's, we our fair share of weird customers and freaks accidents. During the summer we are super busy thanks to a local theme park being open. A customer complained about poop on the floor of the women's restroom. The manger and my coworkers grumble and being the only female, I decided to take one for the team. I was expected some... Read More » small amount which is usually the case. Something minor, but I was so wrong. So very wrong indeed. The bathroom stall had run out of toilet paper. The person or thing that was using the stall decided to use the toilet seat as toilet paper. Instead of asking someone to spare some paper, this thing wiped its butt all over the toilet seat. To add the whipped cream to the crap pie, the thing poop all over the back of the toilet. How it managed not to get any crap on the ground is beyond the laws of physics. I was on my knees trying to clean this mess up; all awhile people were trying get into the stall to use the toilet. A customer asked me to leave the bathroom stall so her daughter can use it. I don't know how long it took me to clean up the mess since I kept being interrupted. After finally clean it all up, I return back to my manager to tell him never again. Few minutes later, the customer who pointed it out in the first place, came back to tell us that it is still dirty. Of course I return to find the same exact thing had happen again. WTF

February 17, 2012

I worked at a prison as a corrections officer (prison guard) and there was a particular inmate there who always complained about everything. For three months I endured his rants on how the lights were too bright, the rooms too hot, the blankets too scratchy, and so on. Obviously this is prison and no one gets luxury accommodations. I reached the end of my rope one morning... Read More » when I had to go down the run and wake him up at 7 AM for transport somewhere else in the state for a medical procedure. The guy is all grumpy, complaining about how I'm getting him up at the "ass crack of dawn." He demanded to be allowed time to take a shower, heat and drink some coffee and have a smoke. The van taking him away was already waiting for him and I knew for a fact that he'd taken a shower before going to bed the night before. I told him there wasn't time for any of that, he just had to get dressed and get to the van. He begins swearing and ranting about how inhumanely we were treating him and after months of his complaints I couldn't hold it in anymore. "I know, it sucks how early you have to get up to get your free medical care, huh?" I told him. He was immediately silent . He got dressed and left in a huff. I later found out how he wrote a grievance to the warden about my comment. Inmate complaints are occasionally reason for worry, so I was nervous when the warden called me in to his office. It turned out he just thought my comment was hilarious and told me to keep up the good work.

February 16, 2012