Last night I had a dream that a buddy and I tag-teamed Scarlett Johansson, and the entire dream was narrated to me by myself, like an episode of How I Met Your Mother.
I'm an I.T. guy with a military background, so I know computers and I'm a security freak. As a result, I have a custom-made security system at home. One of the things that will trigger the alarm is loud noises. I set the threshold at 125dB, so things like gunshots and breaking glass will trigger it, but not watching TV and the like. I'm sitting at work and I get a notification... Read More »
So this happened a few years ago to a friend of mine at camp. We were all Counselors In Training, and during swim time, the kids were roughhousing with us like they always do. My friend throws a kid off him, and we hear this ripping sound. Turns out, the kid was holding onto my friends nipple when he was thrown off. Sitting about five feet away was his floating nipple, and now... Read More »
For some reason, my twelve year old brother is curious about my parents' sex life. Every day, he sneaks into my dad's bathroom and counts how many condoms are there. Yesterday, he barged into my room, shouting "Mom and Dad had sex last night!" Apparently one condom had gone missing. I honestly have no idea why he finds this so fascinating. Me? I really don't need to know about... Read More »