CollegeHumor: Tim O'Donnell http://www.collegehumor.com/user/1002088 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/5770277 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/5770277/divine-intervention Divine Intervention Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:31:28 -0500 (September 13, 2009. Kanye Westis enjoying the MTV Video Music Awards from backstage. The nominees for Best Female Video are about to be announced when suddenly the angel Gabriel appears to Kanye.)


Gabriel: Kanye, it is I, the archangel Gabriel, messenger of the Lord. I have come to give you a new mission from our Heavenly Father.
...]]> /article/5766909 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/5766909/the-secret-of-hadouken The Secret of Hadouken Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:03:46 -0500 (Ken and Ryu are fighting near a harbor in the U.S.A. in front of a crowd of cheering on-lookers. Ken has Ryu almost defeated.)


Ken: You are going down, Ryu! I will be the ultimate Street…


Ryu: Hadouken!


(Ryu entends his arms and a blue energy ball shoots from Ryu's hands and knocks Ken down.)


...]]> /article/3008528 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3008528/delusions-of-the-best-player-on-your-schools-golf-team-brad-johnson Delusions of the best player on your school's golf team, Brad Johnson Tue, 23 Oct 2007 11:26:18 -0400
Brad: Hey buddy, did you see how we totally kicked Boston College’s ass this weekend?

John: We beat BC’s footbal...]]> /article/2863087 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/2863087/open-letter-from-a-townie-to-incoming-freshmen Open Letter from a Townie to Incoming Freshmen Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:24:44 -0400 Oh wow, look at Mr. Big Shot here. Mr. I Scored Well on My SATS and Didn’t Fail American History in High School. Looks like you’re heading off to your fancy new college life, huh?Well good luck with all of that. That’s right, I said good luck.I’m not bitter. You still have 4 years of school left. I hated school. I get to jump right into the real world.I have a pretty solid job over at Joe’s Hardware Store.I’ll be making money while you have to sit in class! Ha! I’m making $8.00 an hour over there. Times that by 40 hours a week, and that’s like a shit load of money right there. Sure you’ll be making a lot more money than me in a few years, but I’m not thinking that far ahead at all. I’m not even thinking about how I’m still going to be living at my parent’s house while you’re living in a dorm, probably full of hot college girls. That one hot girl Sarah is going to community college so maybe I can hook up with her. Yeah, you wish you were in my position.


...]]> /article/2837652 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/2837652/what-your-beer-of-choice-says-about-you What your beer of choice says about you Sun, 26 Aug 2007 18:13:42 -0400 Natural Light: I’m a freshman who’s never had beer until a few nights ago. Since this is all they served at the two frat parties I’ve been to, I assume this is how all beer tastes so when people ask me what my favorite beer is, I’m going to say Natty Light.


Keystone Light: I am a freshman that doesn’t know a lot about beer, but I do know this…Natty is fucking gross.


...]]> /article/2195892 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/2195892/things-i-learned-from-my-study-abroad-in-france Things I learned from my study abroad in France Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:51:12 -0400 - Paris is not full of “Rage” Zombies as 28 Weeks Later would have me believe. The customs officer at the airport wasn’t very friendly after I tried to bring a hand gun on the plane for protection.


- If you hear a shitty American song at a bar in , you instantly become very proud of it and feel it represents your entire culture.


- French waiters are rude as fuck when you scream at them in English about how expensive the food is.


...]]> /article/2045108 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/2045108/how-to-go-to-a-high-school-prom-at-age-22 How to go to a High School prom at age 22 Wed, 01 Aug 2007 12:03:30 -0400 College is great, but high school prom was a great experience, wasn’t it? Well you can relive it if you want! Just follow these simple steps and when prom season rolls around in about 9 months, consider yourself there.


Know a high school Junior or Senior


This is very important because these people are the only ones who can invite a college student to attend a high school prom. The best way to get to know a junior or senior is to have a friend who has a younger sibling that fits the bill.If you are unlucky enough not to have a friend with such a sibling, then your best bet is to hang out in high school parking lots and offer to buy kids alcohol until you make a new little friend who thinks you are cool because you tell college stories and don’t have a curfew.


...]]> /article/1180335 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1180335/yoda-the-college-years Yoda: The College Years Thu, 21 Jun 2007 11:33:22 -0400


Before going to Coruscant to begin his training as a Jedi, Yoda spent two years at a small liberal arts college, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…


Saturday. 11:00am. Yoda’s roommate, Brian, walks into their dorm room to find Yoda still sleeping on a pile of empty beer cans on the floor.


Brian: Yoda, man, you need to get up. Aren’t you supposed to meet up with people from our history class to work on a group project?


...]]> /article/1170529 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1170529/things-you-dont-want-your-fortune-cookie-to-say Things you don't want your fortune cookie to say Sun, 17 Jun 2007 23:27:40 -0400


“You definitely just got food poisoning from the Lo Mein. You will be very sick very soon”


“When the apocalypse finally comes in August 2009, you will be completely unprepared for the horrors that await you”


“You will see many photos of your recent ex-girlfriend slutting it up on facebook”


“The hot girl that works at Starbucks will see the mustard stain on your shirt and forever think you are a disgusting slob”


...]]> /article/1155376 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1155376/military-coup-in-mushroom-kingdom Military Coup in Mushroom Kingdom Tue, 12 Jun 2007 10:45:58 -0400 Shocking news to report from the Mushroom Kingdom today. A radical terrorist sect of mushroom people run by two Italian men who are presumed to be brothers has successfully overthrown the benevolent King Bowser of the Koopas in a military coup and taken control of the state government and the Kingdom. The terrorist group, known primarily by the name of their leaders, the Super Mario Brothers, has claimed for years that the rule of the “tyrant” Bowser was unlawful, insisting that the former princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach Toadstool, is the rightful ruler of the Kingdom.
...]]> /article/1139751 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1139751/beer-pong-enthusiast-goes-0-5 Beer Pong Enthusiast goes 0-5 Thu, 07 Jun 2007 12:03:13 -0400


Before the first game: Dude, I’m so stoked that it’s summer cause now I can show you guys the mad pong skills I learned at my school this year. It’s ranked a top 20 party school you know. I don’t remember where I heard that, but it’s definitely true. What? You guys play 6 cup? At my school we always play 10, but your house, your rules. Alright, I’ll take anyone as my partner and still run the table all night. I got first game!


...]]> /article/1116853 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1116853/batman-catches-the-riddler-by-surprise Batman Catches The Riddler by Surprise Fri, 01 Jun 2007 01:10:59 -0400 In an abandoned warehouse in , The Riddler finishes writing a note and laughs.



Riddler: Wow, I really have really out done myself on this one. Batman will never figure out this riddle in time to stop me from robbing Gotham Second National Bank! But I’ll send the note with the clues to give him a sporting chance.

Batman walks through the front door of the warehouse
...]]> /article/1091574 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1091574/the-inner-monologue-of-slimer The Inner Monologue of Slimer Fri, 25 May 2007 18:43:25 -0400


So, this is the afterlife. Wierd, when I died I was really hoping to see the pearly gates of Heaven. But here, I am, a green blob and still on Earth for some reason. I guess maybe things could be worse.At least I’m not in Hell. But still, why am I here? I read somewhere once that ghosts are people who have unfinished business they have to take care of before they can pass on to the next life.I just have the urge to eat any and all food that I see. Don’t see how that qualifies as unfinished business. At least I can fly. That’s definitely a plus.


...]]> /article/1060433 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1060433/lyrics-rewritten-to-apply-to-college-relationships Lyrics Rewritten to Apply to College Relationships Wed, 16 May 2007 23:58:54 -0400 “I Swear” by All-4-One


I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky


I swear, by the Domino’s 555 Deal.


And I swear, like the shadow that’s by your side


And I swear, by Myspace, which you’re ALWAYS fuckin’ on.


...]]> /article/1043835 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1043835/life-lessons-from-scrubs Life Lessons from Scrubs Sun, 13 May 2007 12:45:14 -0400


-If you zone out into your own fantasy world for about 30 seconds while talking to someone, people often won’t seem to notice.


-If your best friend is black, it’s ok to constantly bring his skin color up in daily conversation (i.e. referring to him as “brown bear” regularly).


-If you commit sexual harassment on a daily basis, the consequences are mitigated by following every innuendo or unwanted advance with a high five.


...]]> /article/1037435 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1037435/best-places-to-intern Best Places to Intern Fri, 11 May 2007 20:29:30 -0400

As school ends, many college students are searching for the perfect summer internship that will not only give them valuable work experience in their field of study, but that will also be fun. Keeping the latter in mind, the following is a list of places I have applied to intern while I wait for September.



  • Playing With Puppies Inc.


  • The Beer Tasting Company

    • ...]]>         /article/1027938 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1027938/what-your-dorm-room-decor-says-about-you What Your Dorm Room Decor Says About You Wed, 09 May 2007 12:54:51 -0400 If you have a beer pong table, an ice luge, and 10 or more shot glasses in your dorm room, then not only do you drink alcohol on a regular basis, but you want everyone else to know that you LOVE alcohol. You liketo think of your room as an epicenter of on campus drinking related fun even though deep down you know that off campus parties are way cooler than anything you could throw in you tiny dom room while trying to keep the noise level low enough that the RA doesn't give you touble. You probably wea a Corona hat eveywhere and try to wok that storyabot whenyou played Edward 40 Hands twice in one night into every conversation.


    ...]]>         /article/1022909 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1022909/i-want-to-marry-topanga I Want to Marry Topanga Tue, 08 May 2007 10:34:53 -0400 Though we may not be ready for such a life long commitment as marriage while in college, many of us have a goal of ultimately getting married and starting a family. But the search for the perfect person to spend our lives with is a difficult one that often will take us down the wrong path. However, I am happy to say that at the age of 21, I have found the person who I feel really completes me. That person is fictional star of Boy Meets World,Topanga Lawrence.


    ...]]>         /article/1019186 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1019186/the-student-who-cares-too-much-about-others-being-late-to-class The Student Who Cares Too Much About Others Being Late to Class Mon, 07 May 2007 13:55:38 -0400 Man, this Econ class sure is difficult. It's pretty annoying coming to class early every single time just to ask the professor questions about everything we've already gone over a few times. But it'll be worth it when I get my A. Thank Godthe semester isalmost over. Wait a second, the door is opening. It's that goddamn kid that always comes in 40 minutes late! Jesus Christ, there's only 10 minutes left of class. Why would he come that late to class? He's already missed pretty much the entire lecture. WTF?

    Oh shit. I can't believe he just did that. Instead of quietly grabbing the closest available seat to the door, he just completely walked in front of the professor while he was talking and he's still walking. Oh no. he's goingto sit in the seat next to mine. People might think I'm actually friends with this complete dirtball. Ok, stay calm… just look diagonally away from him towards the ceiling to show anyone that might be looking that I have no affiliation with this kid…ok, good, now scoff at him. How do you scoff? Just, like, exhale quickly and look away. Good, I think that worked.

    Wow, this is ridiculous. He brought his laptop with him and he's already on AIM. Unbelievable, he's IMing at least 2 people right now. They just asked what he's doing and he said "Nothing." You're damn right you're doing nothing, brother. Nothing with your life!
    ...]]> /article/1018718 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1018718/the-best-break-up-ever The Best Break Up Ever Mon, 07 May 2007 10:58:49 -0400 Sometimes in the course of dating someone, you get ot the point where the relationship is just no longer enjoyable. It happens. But eventually you will get to the point where you are actually looking forward to the break up. Where you can't stand to be with this person anymore and everytime you see her/him you can hardly contain your excitement to say "I can't do this anymore." If you're anything like me, breaking up with someone is one of the greatest pleasures in you life. There is planning involved and you know once you do it you'll be left with a generally good feeling about your life. It's like Christmas except that you get to decide when it will happen! A while ago when I was fantasizing about breaking up with a girlfriend the same way in which a dog might fantasize about eating a juicy steak, I came across a great idea on how to break up with someone. It really is pretty cruel, but the comedic value and originality far surpass any feelings of guilt. Laides and gentlemen, I give you the best break up idea I could come up with…


    ...]]>