Lincoln Hawk

Lincoln Hawk

About Me
I wasn't actually born I formed out of a puddle of toxic waste much like the liquid guy in "Terminator 2". I have been around for centuries much like the 'Highlander" but not because I am immortal but because I am the illegitimate son of former "Highlander" star Lorenzo Lamas. In the late 80"s I donned a wig and became a famous roller girl. I used a deadly maneuver called the "A-bomb" which was a one-armed handspring followed by a 20 second bear hug finishing with a deadly belly to belly supplex. But I was kicked out of the league after breaking a girl’s neck. I was never convicted because all 300,000 witnesses mysterious disappeared. I once built a time machine and went back in time 10 minutes just so I could destroy it. I am the kind of guy that would bet against Rocky if given ten to one odds. After the 80's I decided it was time for college. But no schools were exclusive enough so I created my own. I call it Grode University and only one person is admitted a year making it the most exclusive college ever. Every year I am the only person admitted and classes are held in my parent’s basement and are taught by a life-size cut out of President Bush with a sharpie mustache. After 12 successful semesters I decided it was time to join the real world. So I became a phone banker. But one day I came to work dressed in a suit and started firing people. This went smoothly for a couple of hours until I wandered into the CEO's office. I still don't agree with him. I think I do have that kind of authority. So now I just peddle my body on the street and build my fortune one dime at a time much like Donald Trump did.
Member Since
May 4th, 2007
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