CollegeHumor: JohnnyNutty http://www.collegehumor.com/user/2992674 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/3398307 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3398307/johnny-mcnultys-just-in-case-presidential-acceptance-speech Johnny McNulty's Just-In-Case Presidential Acceptance Speech Thu, 01 May 2008 16:56:13 -0400 Wow.

(Applause)

Thank you.

(Applause)

Thank you. Thank you.

(Applause)

First of all. First of all, I would like to congratulate Senator McCain and Senators Obama and Clinton for their hard-fought campaigns.

(Boos)

Now, now, let's be fair. They both conducted themselves superbly,and they are both admirable Americans: a true war hero and a de...]]> /article/3343329 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3343329/john-mayers-blog-a-translator John Mayer's Blog: A Translator Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:33:42 -0400

The following is a blow-by-blow parsing and translation of John Mayer's blog entry "From The Heart," a missive against self-obsession and the impact on modern media on our collective psyche. Also, it is about John Mayer being a very boring man who dislikes everyone who thinks they're better than him. All the quotes are in the order they appear in the blog entry, which can be found here.
...]]> /article/3261400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3261400/son-we-found-your-pot-and-were-very-disappointed-also-we-need-the-number-for-your-dealer Son, we found your pot and we're very disappointed. Also, we need the number for your dealer. Tue, 19 Feb 2008 15:12:12 -0500
Jim? Jim! James Winningham get in here right now! Oh I'll tell you what the big deal is young man. Sit down.


Earlier today, your mother was cleaning in your room and she found…well, just show him, Emily. Yep. You know what that is? Of course you do, because it's marijuana. Oh yeah, you're definitely in trouble. Call that girlfriend of yours, Ilana, and tell her you can't make it to her makeout party tonight, because you are grounded. We are going to get on your ass, young man. I want your schedules for classes, homework, tests, and sports because you'll be doing nothing but studying and chores until this summer. And we're going to need your dealer's number as well.
...]]> /picture/3170385 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/3170385/alien-versus-alien---the-movie-for-xenophiles-and-xenophobes-everywhere Alien Versus Alien - The Movie For Xenophiles And Xenophobes Everywhere Fri, 04 Jan 2008 15:55:31 -0500