Hi, I'm Kevin. Fancy meeting you here. Haven't we met here before? No? Yeah, I'm just here with some friends. I hate these kinds of places. Everyone's just trying to get laid, anyway. Not you, of course. Are you? Of course I'm just joking! You're not, right? Yeah, that's what I figured. Well, it was nice talking to you. What do I like to do, you ask? Well since you're wondering:
1. I like to eat cookies
2. I send threatening letters to retirement homes
3. I have a dog named "patchy", who I do make wear an eyepatch, because I won't be made a fool of by a dog.
4. I don't like breakfast for dinner
5. I stay awake too late writing silly things about myself for website bios (oh the heavy irony of writing this one)