CollegeHumor: RyanIsAWESOME http://www.collegehumor.com/user/3810606 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/3934702 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3934702/gettin-all-da-women-a-quick-step-by-step-graphical-guidebook-by-ryan-elkins Gettin' all da women: A quick step by step graphical guidebook by Ryan Elkins Thu, 12 Mar 2009 10:23:48 -0400 Hey there guys.

My name is Ryan,



Today I'm going to show you my step by step plan to gettin' all da ladies. You may be thinking "well Ryan, why should i listen to you?" or "how do you know any better than I do?" Those are great questions and I'll answer them both by saying…I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Let's get started shall we?

When I walk into a bar, club, hostel, denny's or even a strangers house uninvited and I see a pretty girl, my eyes are on the prize ( well technically my eye). Right now you are probably panicking; there she is, an angel in disguise and you got nothing to come at her with.

DO NOT WORRY…

I'm going to have you lead in with the world's most powerful tool of seduction, throughout the centuries man has seen fads come and go but this my friends is where it all ends and begins…

/article/3872467 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3872467/facebook-25-random-things-lawl !Facebook! 25 random things! lawl! Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:58:00 -0500 Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note...]]> /article/3816885 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3816885/5-reasons-i-love-your-girlfriend-until-she-breaks-up-with-you-for-me-and-i-break-up-with-her-immediately-after 5 reasons I love your girlfriend until she breaks up with you for me and I break up with her immediately after Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:18:48 -0500  

 

1. I'm bored.

I'm sorry, its true. A significant portion of my love for your girlfriend stems from my shear boredom with everyday tasks. Shower, work, lunch, home, dinner, sleep. I just can't take it anymore. I'm sitting around thinking, how heavy does this stone have to be to bust a window? I shouldn't be thinking that! I should be busy gardening, doing taxes or killing time with your girlfriend, you know, awesome stuff.

Throwing your heartbreak rock through her new found love window will surely spice up my routine and keep my vandalism to a minimum.


...]]> /article/3814794 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3814794/head-shot-hottie Head shot hottie Sat, 20 Dec 2008 23:13:47 -0500

Last week I heard about a casting call for a real low budget movie being shot in my town. I'm no actor but I figured, HEY why not? I've been working on my facial expressions for years and odds are after about 20 takes I can totally nail a line. Well they asked for headshots with facial expressions like angry, happy, sad, excited etc etc so that they could get an idea of what they would be working with. I obliged most willingly and to my dismay, I NEVER heard back. So now I'm pretty bummed, you know, you try so hard in this world and nothing goes your way sometimes. I realized that if I' m going to get any better, I'm going to need help from you, my Internet friends.
...]]> /article/3810894 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3810894/electri-city Electri-city Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:48:27 -0500 I grew up in Cincinnati and spent my childhood enoying the comforts of modern living. Air conditioning, T.V, Microwaves (How could I live without your pity?) and eventually the internet, I can't even think about what life would be like without it.

Now imagine if you had none of them, no electrical devices. I got a test run at it.

While spending the summer (..And Winter/Fall) at my parents, a nasty wind storm came raging through our little city and devastated the power electrical wires. It left most of the city powerless for a week, both literally and figuratively.

Hours after the storm came through I awoke in complete darkness (No, not like emo dark heart cut myself and cry. It was literally pitch black) I leaned over from my make shift bed ..also known as a couch..and began the cycle I had so willingly performed over the past few weeks

Turn on laptop
...]]> /article/3810609 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3810609/time-cop-starring-jean-claude-van-dame-lapse Time (Cop starring Jean-Claude Van Dame) Lapse Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:59:18 -0500

I'll preface this by saying I don't mean to fool you, this has nothing to do with Time Cop starring Jean-Claude Van Damme of Blood sport fame.

So if you are here for a synopsis of that film, I've mislead you and to apologize, i offer you my deepest apologies to temporarily satisfy your insatiable hunger for Time Cop.



Now on with the show..


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