CollegeHumor: Pat Kearnan http://www.collegehumor.com/user/3872903 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /picture/4026990 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/4026990/sarah-schneiders-side-gig---kissyface27-on-truecom Sarah Schneider's side gig - Kissyface27 on True.com Wed, 13 May 2009 02:41:18 -0400 /article/4010519 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/4010519/my-brand-new-love-of-fox-news My Brand New Love of Fox News Sat, 02 May 2009 14:40:56 -0400 After reading that title, it may come as a shock to you that my my political views are not in the slightest bit conservative.  I think gays should be allowed to legally marry, I think guns are too easy to buy, and I'm a fan of abortion (due to a wayward click on a facebook group – if anyone could tell me how to undo that it would be greatly appreciated).  It may then come as a surprise that Fox News recently became one of my favorite channels (after The Food Network of course), especially since I don't even like watching the news.  So why is Fox News my new favorite channel?  Partly because it's like watching a 24-hour episode of The Daily Show, but mostly because it's just so damn entertaining.  Here are my top 5 reasons:
...]]> /article/3982872 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3982872/sci-fi-channel-faq-11 Sci Fi Channel FAQ #11 Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:11:19 -0400


]]> /article/3986197 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3986197/the-future-is-disturbing The Future is Disturbing Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:37:12 -0400 I'm here to warn you of a looming threat on the horizon.

With the economic crisis in full bloom, hundreds of people are being laid off on a daily basis. Having nothing better to do with their lives, these ex-workers are turning to World of Warcraft. With already 11.5 million users worldwide, this growth in numbers puts the game in a position to take over the world.

I have seen the future, and it is disturbing.

The following screenshot is a forecast of a what a certain popular website will look like in three years – when a full third of the internet's users are Warcraft nerds. The text has been extracted from existing gaming forums and as you can see…it's not pretty.
...]]> /article/3964802 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3964802/the-best-of-best-of-craigslist The Best Of "Best Of Craigslist" Thu, 02 Apr 2009 19:18:36 -0400



Technically I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, but I just spent the last 20 minutes discovering the "Best of Craigslist" and stumbled upon the greatest public bathroom story ever. I don't claim authorship of the following, but I thought I'd share it with you anyway – because who doesn't love a good shit story?  It's pretty long, but very worth the read.


/article/3952459 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3952459/obama-announces-plan-to-tax-2010-ncaa-tournament-brackets Obama Announces Plan to Tax 2010 NCAA Tournament Brackets Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:58:38 -0400



]]> /article/3936593 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3936593/understanding-the-new-facebook Understanding the New Facebook Fri, 13 Mar 2009 10:35:11 -0400 Facebook recently revealed its "new look" (which is much different than the last "new look") in yet another attempt to reinvent itself.  Like all things that are constantly reinventing themselves, the new Facebook layout is scary and confusing, which is why I have created this guide to help you understand and welcome some of the changes.

...]]> /article/3932102 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3932102/police-log-bree-college-for-the-blind Police Log: Bree College for the Blind Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:50:57 -0400


]]> /article/3905566 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3905566/a-second-letter-to-that-girl A Second Letter to That Girl Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:25:01 -0500 Mi mas estimada flor del desierto,



I've been learning more Spanish.  Can you tell?  I think I've gotten much better.  I didn't know any Spanish at all before I met you.  I didn't realize how lovely a language it was.  Maybe it took someone as lovely as you to introduce me to its beauty.  Muchas gracias.


Today was the first time you were in class in a few weeks.  I missed you.  I wanted to give you a letter a while ago, but when you weren't in class that day I got nervous and ate it.  Right there in front of everyone.  They were all looking at me, but I didn't care.  I wanted them to see how I felt about you.  I wanted to show them what I would do for your love.  I would eat an entire copy of Bleak House by Charles Dickens if you wanted me to.  It's his longest novel.  1,024 pages.
...]]> /article/3904418 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3904418/why-i-should-never-get-an-iphone-facebook-edition Why I Should Never Get an iPhone: Facebook Edition Thu, 19 Feb 2009 03:51:16 -0500


]]> /article/3898326 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3898326/worthless-in-the-end Worthless in the End Sat, 14 Feb 2009 20:26:10 -0500
Remember all of those popular toys back in the 90s that everyone in your class went crazy over? Remember how you spent all of your allowance trying to keep up with your friends because the hierarchy of your group was based on the amount of cool shit everyone had? Remember how your mom got trampled to death in front of Walmart because you told her you'd hate her forever if she didn't get you that cool new toy for Christmas? Remember the funeral? Remember how everyone blamed you? Remember how you didn't really care all that much because Walmart felt responsible for her death and sent you the toy for free so instead of mourning your mother you just sat in the back of the funeral home and played with it? It was totally worth it, wasn't it?

 

Anyway, here's a bunch of 90s toy/game crazes that absorbed our money but ended up being completely worthless.

 

 

...]]> /article/3884955 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3884955/a-letter-to-that-girl A Letter to That Girl Thu, 05 Feb 2009 21:36:15 -0500 Dear That Girl in My Early Irish Literature Class,


 


            When you first walked into class the other day with your shiny knee-high boots and your snug V-neck sweater and your black jeans so tight I don't know how you squeezed into them, I was stricken.  I stared at you the entire class.  I don't think you noticed.  I noticed you, though.  I noticed how your hair was perfectly styled and you had on just the right amount of makeup.  While all the other girls showed up to class in sweatpants and Uggs, you were dressed like you were going dancing right after class.  I dreamt that you and I would lock eyes after class and you would take me dancing with you.  It would be our first date.  I noticed that you didn't smile.  Not once. While everyone else was laughing at the professor's jokes and stories, you just sat there.  Your lips didn't even quiver.  I knew because I was staring at you.  I want to make you smile.
...]]> /article/3883372 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3883372/five-passive-aggressive-ways-to-get-your-roommate-to-take-out-the-recycling Five Passive-Aggressive Ways to Get Your Roommate to Take out the Recycling Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:42:42 -0500             It's not so easy living with a roommate with no social skills.  It's even worse when that roommate avoids any and all personal interaction.  Add on top of that the fact that he never leaves the room, has no friends, drinks a lot of various liquids, and is just a slob in general and you have my roommate.  Now let's say you're sick of having to take out the recycling every week, especially since most of the stuff is his.  What's a creative and fun way to get him todo it for once?  "Leave him a polite note" would be a good idea, but let's say that this particular roommate just drank a bunch of your beer without asking and pretended it didn't happen despite the fact that the empty cans are sitting right there on his desk.  What would be a passive-aggressive way to get him to do it?
...]]> /picture/3793137 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/3793137/the-sign-says-it-all the sign says it all Sun, 07 Dec 2008 20:29:42 -0500