Marie works at Flynt Publications, a.k.a. Hustler Magazine, and for my 25th birthday she brought me to a porno shoot. That's right, a hardcore porno shoot. I think the film is called "Scott Nails Bangs a Whore in Leather: Volume 3" which is a difficult title to wrap your mind around, but I think that was it.
...]]> /article/68228 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68228/eye-need-help Wed, 18 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0500 I hope everyone is having a great 2006 thus far. I actually started off the New Year in the emergency room of the Cedars Sinai Medical Center because my left eye (not to be confused with the late, great hip-hop star who would sport a condoms on her face while singing "Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg" and "Baby-Baby-Baby.") was in intense pain for several days.

...]]> /article/68152 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68152/my-girlfriend-got-robbed Fri, 11 Nov 2005 00:00:00 -0500 A week ago, while hanging out at my apartment in Hollywood, CA, (no big woop) late at night, my girlfriend went out to her car to grab her bag. Moments later a car pulled up next to her and she thought they wanted her parking spot. She turned to them and said, "I'm not moving. Find another spot. I'm staying here at my boyfriend's apartment: Danlevyshow.com. Check him out" he's hilarious." (She's always promoting me. What a good girlfriend.)
...]]> /article/67050 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/67050/dan-levys-guide-to-summer-lovin Thu, 26 May 2005 00:00:00 -0400

"But Dan, how would you know how to find a girlfriend? Don't all your relationships end horribly, with you crying into your pillow while eating brie cheese, and listening to old Tony Robbins cassette tapes?"
...]]> /article/67083 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/67083/say-no-to-sluts Thu, 10 Mar 2005 00:00:00 -0500 I am recently back in the single crowd trying to date and meet new people after my long term girlfriend and I had to break up. We didn't have to, but when you find out she's banging an English guy from the BBC while you're doing comedy in some shit hole in America" you realize that it may be a good idea to smash her laptop against a wall and break up with her.
...]]> /article/67096 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/67096/the-art-of-the-drunk-dial Tue, 08 Feb 2005 00:00:00 -0500 Everyone is doing it! No, I'm not talking about the newest hot drug on street; I'm talking about the infamous drunk dial. However, I am here today to tell you how you can now drunk dial and wake up without a hang over.

I know what you're thinking? "But Dan how can we do that? I'm drunk when I dial. How do I not get a hang over? Should I drink more water and put a finger in my ass?" No! But you should put a finger in your ass for good luck.
...]]> /article/67125 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/67125/connecticut-state Thu, 02 Dec 2004 00:00:00 -0500 So last week I left my current residence in Los Angeles to visit my hometown of Stamford, Connecticut. I felt a lot like Zach Braff in the film "Garden State", except I wasn't going home to New Jersey for a funeral, I didn't get to bang Natalie Portman, and there was not an awesome soundtrack playing the entire time, but you get the point.

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