CollegeHumor: Matt Hulten http://www.collegehumor.com/user/65530 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/3857457 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3857457/excerpts-from-my-diary-entitled-ill-steal-my-daddys-cue-make-a-living-out-of-playing-pool Excerpts From My Diary Entitled, "I'll Steal My Daddy's Cue, Make A Living Out Of Playing Pool" Mon, 19 Jan 2009 12:14:39 -0500 December 31

My relationship with Maggie is over. I hate her, hate her so much. That bitch, that cu – no, I won't dwell on the past. For I have a bright future ahead of me – playing pool. I've decided to follow in the footsteps of the legendary Minnesota Fats and the great…um…well, I'm sure there are other famous pool players. Too many to list, in fact. And I aim to be one of them, for nothing will stop me now! I will live this dream and get over the venomous Miss May in the process. It sure beats going back to school anyway. Tomorrow I will steal my father's cue. But tonight, I drink in celebration, for tonight is the first night of my new life!

January 1
/article/1152437 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1152437/morning-after---the-sopranos Morning After - The Sopranos Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:58:00 -0400

And then there was one.

All good things must come to an end. Well, last night was the end. The last episode of "the Sopranos", the one fans of the show have all been waiting for (and at the same time dreading) all along. Would it live up to the hype? More importantly, what would happen to Tony? What exactly did creator David Chase have in store for the man? Only time would tell.

Just to get you up to speed, last week’s tremendous (seriously, probably one of the best of the series) and incredibly suspenseful episode left Tony a marked man with a severely depleted crew. A botched attempt to off Phil saw the Head of New York retaliate by taking out several key members of the Soprano crew. With Bobby gone and Silvio down for the count in the hospital, that left Tony alone in a safe house, holding a rifle, prepared to go to war on anything that came through the door to his room. And that’s how the stellar episode ended and left us hanging for the week.

But the story was far from finished. Here, minute-by-minute, is the final episode of "the Sopranos".

9:03 – The opening credits, featuring "Woke Up This Morning", one of the best theme songs ever. Take it in folks, this is the last time we’ll get to see Tony drive up to his house. Well, unless you plan of watching any of the DVDs, the old episodes OnDemand, or the reruns on A&E. But other than that, you know, this is the last time you’ll ever see it.


...]]> /article/1075000 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1075000/morning-after-sopranos Morning After: Sopranos Mon, 21 May 2007 12:00:01 -0400

After killing Christopher and pushing the stakes higher between the New Jersey and New York Families in the last episode, it stands to reason that this week’s offering would try to duplicate that intensity and build momentum heading into the final two episodes.


...]]> /article/1048685 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1048685/morning-after-sopranos Morning After: Sopranos Mon, 14 May 2007 11:43:47 -0400

The main problem I’ve had thus far with these last episodes of "the Sopranos" is that it seems like very little has been do...]]> /article/1018820 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1018820/morning-after-sopranos Morning After: Sopranos Mon, 07 May 2007 11:49:14 -0400





With last week’s episode of "The Sopranos" showing Phil’s rise to power, followed by him dismissing Tony’s request to help with the Spatafore family, I think it’s safe to say most viewers were looking for a little more heat (if not an all out war) between the New Jersey and New York families. After all, we’re rapidly approaching the end of the series. Loyal viewers are waiting for things to explode. It’s about time things picked up a little bit, isn’t it?
...]]> /article/989693 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/989693/morning-after-sopranos Morning After: Sopranos Mon, 30 Apr 2007 11:35:30 -0400

Another slow and relatively uneventful episode begins interestingly enough with Tony and his crew hitting it big at the roulette table. Are Tony’s financial problems (which have been hinted at in several earlier episodes and most recently last week) finally clearing up? Does this mean that his luck is finally turning around?
...]]> /article/950111 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/950111/the-morning-after-the-sopranos The Morning After The Sopranos Mon, 23 Apr 2007 12:04:46 -0400

If there’s a bad way to wake up, it’s being woken up with the news that a body you buried from a hit over 20 years ago is in danger of being unearthed linking you to the crime is pretty close to the top of the list (although waking up hungover in a pool of blood is also a pretty bad way to wake up, but that’s neither here nor there). Tony is informed of this unpleasant news which means he and Paulie are forced to take a road trip to Miami and wait for things at home to cool off. Would this be a road trip filled with crazy shenanigans, male bonding, and hookers in Tijuana? Not so much. Instead it’s a road trip filled with distrust and unease revolving around the idea of fatherly mentors and how those mentors can let you down. It was another episode filled with interesting moments but which seemed to focus on the past and lumber backwards as opposed to moving towards the finale.
...]]> /article/908322 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/908322/morning-after-sopranos Morning After: Sopranos Mon, 16 Apr 2007 11:52:02 -0400

So after a relatively lackluster (read: boring) season opener, the Sopranos returned Sunday night with a new episode. Apparently trying to make up for lost time, or realizing that having Tony stare out over a lake practically the entire show probably wasn’t the best use of time, this episode took the opposite decided to cram a whole lot of stuff into the hour. And like an older sibling desperate for its parent’s attention, this episode overachieved in grandiose proportions. But if I had to choose between too much going on, like in this episode, or nothing going on, like in the last, I’ll take the too much going on every time.
...]]> /article/876110 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/876110/morning-after-sopranos Morning After: Sopranos Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:37:29 -0400




Somewhere along the line, apparently this meeting occurred concerning season six of the Sopranos.



Executive 1: People seems to love this show. Any ideas on how we can make it even better?
...]]> /article/782273 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/782273/making-sure-what-happens-in-vegas-actually-stays-there Making Sure What Happens In Vegas Actually Stays There Mon, 19 Mar 2007 14:10:39 -0400



If the popular slogan, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" is any indication, tourists can get into more than a little bit of trouble when they visit Las Vegas. And while the website visitlasvegas.com claims to offer alibis for one’s misadventures in Sin City, frankly they’re not all that convincing. Here, however, is a list of alibis for the common events you will encounter during a weeklong trip to Las Vegas, ensuring that your friends and family will never find out just how much of a monster you really are.


...]]> /article/568036 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/568036/a-drunk-and-verbally-abusive-magic-8-ball-answers-your-questions A Drunk and Verbally Abusive Magic 8 Ball Answers Your Questions Tue, 06 Feb 2007 12:14:28 -0500 Question: Will I have a good job when I get older?                                       Response: Signs point to yes. Except that you were born an idiot, you will die an idiot, and nothing will change in-between.


Question: Who is going to win the World Series this year?                         Response: Outcome hazy, you money-hungry dick.                                  


...]]> /article/223479 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/223479/dvd-review-of-a-movie-matt-didnt-see---the-devil-wears-prada DVD Review (of a Movie Matt Didn't See) - The Devil Wears Prada Wed, 20 Dec 2006 14:19:17 -0500
*Occasionally, Matt Hulten’s life is so busy (i.e.: he can’t pull himself away from Grand Theft Auto) that he doesn’t get out to see the movie he’s suppose to review, or the film itself looks so bad that he simply chooses not to attend in protest. In those (not so) rare cases, he is forced to review the film based solely on the film’s poster and his limited knowledge of the movie. His wildly misinformed reviews may or may not contain any facts and if they do, it’s probably completely by accident.
...]]> /article/135078 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/135078/some-differences-between-real-life-and-nintendos-punch-out-i-noticed-last-night-while-getting-my-ass-kicked-outside-a-sports-bar-by-several-drunken-lacrosse-players Some Differences Between Real Life and Nintendo's Punch-Out I Noticed Last Night While Getting My Ass Kicked Outside A Sports Bar By Several Drunken Lacrosse Players Fri, 13 Oct 2006 13:45:44 -0400
When Little Mac is hit hard enough, he flashes pink.
When I am hit hard enough, I spit up blood and vomit in my mouth.
...]]> /article/68407 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68407/diary-of-a-drunk-dial Diary Of A Drunk Dial Mon, 12 Jun 2006 15:00:00 -0400 You've just ended a relationship. Maybe it was their fault, maybe it was yours, either way, it's over. And yet, feelings still linger. Naughty feelings. All you want to do is to be left the hell alone to wallow in self-pity and Oreo cookies, but your friends will have none of that and insist instead on taking you out to the bar. Here's a breakdown of what you can expect to experience over the next several hours.
...]]> /article/68322 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68322/a-formal-request-for-money A Formal Request For Money Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400 Money is hard to come by when you're in college. For some it will come from a job. For most it will come from your parents. But what's the best way to ask for money? Parents tend not to respond very well to a post-it note with postage due that says, "Dad. Cash. Thanx." Not to worry, I'm here to help. Go ahead and send your parents this formal request for money and I guarantee (I don't really guarantee, please don't sue me) they'll send you enough cash to keep you rolling in beer and chicken wings for at least a few weeks.
...]]> /article/68300 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68300/an-open-letter-to-the-guy-who-takes-beer-pong-way-way-too-seriously An Open Letter To The Guy Who Takes Beer Pong Way, Way Too Seriously Thu, 16 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500 Dear Guy Who Takes Beer Pong Way, Way Too Seriously,



Greetings and salutations. I don't believe we're ever officially met. My name is Matt and we had the good fortunate of both being invited to a stellar party at our mutual acquaintance's house last night.



I'm sure you wouldn't remember me from just standing around near the keg, however, but you might remember me from something else. For you and I, my friend, played beer pong against each other. And, My God, did you take it seriously.
...]]> /article/68248 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68248/party-foul-part-ii Party Foul! Part II Fri, 03 Feb 2006 00:00:00 -0500 The world is filled with the annoying, the careless, and the flat-out stupid. And guess what? They all like to party. Thankfully, I'm not alone in wanting to see those annoying partygoers punished for their mistakes. Here's another list of Party Fouls that both you and I want to see the masses penalized for. Enforce and enjoy.



Party Foul #5: Screwing Around with the Music
...]]> /article/68205 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68205/party-foul Party Foul! Mon, 02 Jan 2006 15:00:00 -0500 You're at a party, enjoying yourself, when you accidentally drop your drink. Despite the fact that you hit the floor like it's World War II and you're diving on a live grenade to save your squadron to recover it, it hits the ground, the glass shatters and booze goes everywhere. Now there's a huge mess, you're embarrassed at your clumsiness, and you have to go more than 45 seconds without the taste of booze in your mouth. That would be bad enough, but there's always some drunken ass right behind you who stops his conversation about how Duke is going all the way this year just long enough to turn to you, point, and scream, "PARTY FOUL!" God, I hate that guy. And yet, I have to admit that the drunken fool makes a good point. At every party, things go wrong, horribly, horribly wrong, yet there's no one to evaluate fouls and administer penalties. So here's a short list of other party fouls and ways you can penalize the wrong-doer at your very next gathering.
...]]> /article/68164 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68164/to-the-guy-drinking-for-the-first-time To The Guy Drinking For The First Time Wed, 23 Nov 2005 00:00:00 -0500 Dear College Guy Drinking for the First Time,



Hello there. You don't know me and I don't know you. Despite this, I feel compelled to write you a little letter. I'm the guy in the corner, calming sipping his drink, watching you slowly lose all control as you consume more alcohol than you ever have in your entire life. You're putting on quite a show, my friend, quite a show indeed.
...]]> /article/68137 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68137/real-life-v-dorm-life Real Life v. Dorm Life Fri, 28 Oct 2005 00:00:00 -0400 Despite the fact that I have been going to various colleges for almost eight years now, I have never lived in a dorm, having always lived in an apartment close to school. I never had to live among my fellow classmates. Therefore, I feel like I am missing out on a major part of the college experience.



So I thought to myself, how would my college life be different if I did live in a dorm?
...]]>