CollegeHumor: Pete Holmes http://www.collegehumor.com/user/65548 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/68462 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68462/faking-your-way-through-fine-dining Faking Your Way Through Fine Dining Fri, 01 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0400 Sure, Applebees is fine for, like, the first thirty dates, but there comes a time to step up your dating game and take that special someone into the wild mist of highbrow culture that is "fine dining." It's easy to get lost in the brandy-swirling tundra, what with all the veal shanks and jacket-rentals, but never fear: I may have no idea what I'm doing in a fine dining restaurant, either, but I've perfected the art of faking like I do.
...]]> /article/68237 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68237/how-to-sleep-in-college How To Sleep In College Sat, 28 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0500 The most important thing I learned in college was how to sleep. I'm not even sure what my major was, but the sleeping skills I learned living in the dorms will stay with me forever.



Decibel for decibel, typical college dorms can give Beirut a run for its money, what with your neighbor's stereo blasting "My Shit is Bananas" or whateverthecrap 24/5 (he goes home on weekends), or that fartface on the floor above you who's relentlessly trying to learn "Don'tcha" on the trumpet, or the guy with the IMAX quality surround-sound who can't stop watching "You Got Served" – needless to say, it can be hard to get some sleep in the dorms.
...]]> /article/68204 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/68204/beards-a-hairy-situation Beards: A Hairy Situation Wed, 28 Dec 2005 00:00:00 -0500 I can't grow a beard. Maybe you can relate. For example, maybe you're a woman. But maybe you're like me – a hairless dude in a world of hairy dudes, some of whom, for added sting, are named Harry. Maybe you, too, have a face as smooth as it is a face. It's not so fun.



There's an upside to being the devon rex in the litter box of hairy dudes – no back hair, or ass hair, no hair pretty much anywhere besides on your dome and surrounding unmentionables – but there's also a downside: we rank lower on the manly-meter. That's right, we're less manish. We, the smooth-cheeked, aren't axe-carrying, blue-ox befriending quicker-picker-upper paper towel spokesmen. No. We are not the type of guys who answer the phone, "Go," or answer a knock on our door with "She's open!" We're more "Hello?" and "Please come in" people, as we have more time to soften our etiquette with all the time we save not shaving.
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