CollegeHumor: River Clegg http://www.collegehumor.com/user/6757902 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/6830693 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6830693/obama-and-romneys-debate-prep Obama and Romney's Debate Prep Mon, 01 Oct 2012 22:52:55 -0400
Obama and Romneys Debate Prep - Image 1


With the first presidential debate just a day away, how have the candidates been gearing up?

Obama

-Deflection drills (jobless rates, Guantanamo, Iran, corporate bailouts, continued existence of problems in general)

-Bush-blaming speed rounds.

-Working "folks" into every sentence, including those spoken only to Michelle.

-Forcing Secretary of Housing and Urban Development to do nothing but stalk Mitt Romney with a tape recorder until further notice.

-Reading up on Libya's Wikipedia page.

-In attempt to boost economy, ordering dessert.

-Subtle "Mormons are weird" implication exercises.

-Working on his Windsor knots.

-Asking what Biden would say; saying the opposite.

-Resisting urge to curse when unemployment numbers are said aloud.

-Golf.

-Fundraiser with Jay-Z and Beyonce.

-Clubbing with Jay-Z and Beyonce.

-Fundraiser because it's Tuesday.

-Really talking up the other guy.


...]]> /article/6817151 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6817151/sound-bites-from-obamas-latest-anti-romney-ad Sound Bites from Obama's Latest Anti-Romney Ad Sun, 26 Aug 2012 22:43:03 -0400 These attack ads are beginning to get a bit out of hand.

Sound Bites from Obamas Latest AntiRomney Ad - Image 1
Sound Bites from Obamas Latest AntiRomney Ad - Image 1...]]> /article/6798690 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6798690/mitt-romneys-white-house-improvement-plans Mitt Romney's White House Improvement Plans Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:59:37 -0400
Mitt Romneys White House Improvement Plans - Image 1

1. Replace bowling alley with something less blue-collar, like a croquet field or gladiator ring.


2. VIP Latino entrance. (Only open during election years.)


...]]> /article/6783360 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6783360/the-fallen-how-the-gop-dropouts-are-spending-their-days The Fallen: How the GOP Dropouts Are Spending Their Days Thu, 14 Jun 2012 12:33:52 -0400
The Fallen: How the GOP Dropouts Are Spending Their Days - Image 1


Rick Perry: Governing Texas. Which is to say: pretending the EPA doesn't exist; firing revolvers into the air for the state's weekly Alamo remembrance ceremony, which is observed by firing revolvers into the air; executions; saying things about Jesus; relaxing at his hunting lodge, the one that says "N*****head" on it and which he never really apologized for having; executions.
...]]> /article/6775979 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6775979/mitt-romneys-bank-account-speaks-out Mitt Romney's Bank Account Speaks Out Tue, 29 May 2012 10:58:26 -0400

Mitt Romney's Bank Account Speaks Out - Image 1
A lot of you don't like me, I know. You say I'm too fat, or that I was unfairly created by shutting down factories and d...]]> /article/6769785 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6769785/obamas-new-time-machine-of-hope Obama's New Time Machine of Hope Tue, 15 May 2012 17:09:56 -0400
Obamas New 2008 Time Machine - Image 1

My fellow Americans.

It's no secret that a lot of folks out there are hurting. Yes, some due to hunting accidents. But most...]]> /article/6757914 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6757914/hopeless-high-school-lesson-plan-voting-101 Hopeless High School Lesson Plan: Voting 101 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 15:51:29 -0400

Hopeless High School Lesson Plan: Voting 101 - Image 1

9:58 am: Accept your reality: You're a single, middle-aged woman teaching high school civics who has forgotten what human warmth feels like.

9:59 am: Weep.

10:00 am: Start of class. Wait for students to take seats and give Tyler back his inhaler.

10:10 am: Say the words "voting can be fun." Wait for laughter to subside.

10:20 am: Say the words "Okay, but seriously, voting is an important way to make your voice heard politically." Wait for laughter to subside.
...]]>