CollegeHumor: DJNewStyle http://www.collegehumor.com/user/72571 Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/5314757 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/5314757/a-notice-to-failures-everywhere-today-is-your-day A Notice to Failures Everywhere: Today is Your Day Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:20:58 -0400 Now is the time to live up to your complete lack of potential!  No matter how badly you screw up at work today, your blunders will never be on the level of injecting too much propofol into the back muscles of a man-waif who is responsible for the number one selling album of all-time.


Try it!  If you put your inexpensive dress shoe against a copier a few times you might cost the company, what, ten thousand dollars?   Michael Jackson was spending 2 million dollars a month – his death impacted the economy.  Your blunder sets business back 4 hours. 
...]]> /article/3498523 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3498523/three-people-im-not-particularly-fond-of Three People I'm Not Particularly Fond Of Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:13:08 -0400 Naked guy at the gym who has the handlebar mustache of a weightlifter from the 1800's and sack that looks like a plastic grocerybag.


He's very strict in his routine and remains a fixture at your local fitness club despite the fact that he hasn't exercised in over a quarter century. He can be seen standing in front of the sink closest to the urinals shaving his face with his disgusting elderly genitals completely exposed.
...]]> /article/3037811 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3037811/five-things-that-make-you-great-lonely-dorm-guy Five Things That Make You Great, Lonely Dorm Guy Fri, 02 Nov 2007 15:09:09 -0400
1. Your door is always open. You know, just in case any chicks feel like stopping in. Why bother wasting time and energy with conversation when free entry to a room decorated with promotional material for the latest MMORPG is all the invitation any hot-blooded college girl should ever need.
...]]> /article/3031523 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3031523/college-word-a-day-calendar College Word-A-Day Calendar Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:53:54 -0400


bro

]]> /article/1106585 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1106585/an-ode-to-summer-break An Ode to Summer Break Tue, 29 May 2007 13:58:55 -0400 I'm off to get a job and work until the summer ends

I'll spend my days at some lame job, my nights drunk with my friends

I'll drink and drink, fall down and puke, but its what I want to do

I'm off to get a job today, but tonight I'm bound to spew


I've got a girl around the way, she thinks that she's the one
...]]> /article/950214 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/950214/deaf-poetry-jam Deaf Poetry Jam Mon, 23 Apr 2007 12:33:53 -0400 As a child a schoolmate asked

why my speech was not so clear

His mouth had moved and his words projected

but, ASSHOLE, I cannot hear.


Oh, how terrible they were to me

they'd abuse me all day long

They'd tie me down and call me names

and lip-synch shitty songs
...]]> /article/611784 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/611784/the-wingmans-ballad The Wingman's Ballad Tue, 13 Feb 2007 11:59:46 -0500

I thought tonight I'd meet a lady

I thought I'd bring her home

I thought we'd spend the night together

but instead I sleep alone
...]]> /article/447124 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/447124/time-travel-amazing-fantastic-and-taken-for-granted-by-argumentative-celebrities Time Travel: Amazing, Fantastic, and Taken For Granted by Argumentative Celebrities Tue, 23 Jan 2007 01:01:01 -0500



]]> /article/241382 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/241382/the-on-campus-larpers-a-poem The On-Campus Larpers: A Poem Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:52:59 -0500



The dragon's fire burned as the warriors fought

fresh from the feast of the lunch that they had bought

"These broadswords are steel, they're real," they thought
...]]>