Dear Prospective Employers,
Thank you for googling me. As you can see, my name makes me a rare bird, and by googling me you will be able to track much of my online public activity since about 2001. The above article is one of a number of satirical essays I wrote in college documenting my dissatisfaction with the attitudes of my fellow students. I understand now that my language was inappropriate for a public forum. Unfortunately, though I have changed my name on this website, I continue to appear on google. I hope that it does not reflect too poorly on me as a person or a job candidate. Thank you for your consideration.