Formerly a student on full scholarship at Dickinson College in Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania (where he flunked out in one kick-ass semester), Jacob Nathaniel McCaine had dreamed of many things in his life as a college student.
Among them were:
1. Having a threesome with his roomate's girlfriend and his Women's Studies teacher,
2. Competing in a statewide beer pong contest,
3. Saving a frat from sure destruction (thus defeating the evil dean and throwing an awesome party featuring end credits with Blink182), and of course,
4. Becoming a featured writer on CollegeHumor.com.
Two of those things came true. I still cant look at a bust of Eleanor Roosevelt without becoming aroused.