Craig Likes

35 Items 4 Articles

Tuesday, Sep 18 2007
Commenter Business Meeting 2
Iz on ur computr, captioning ur videeowzz!

4712 / 1008 / 2 years ago
Friday, Aug 17 2007
Internet Commenter Business Meeting
This is what happens when corporations change pwn3rship.

7507 / 872 / 2 years ago
Wednesday, Dec 19 2007
Hardly Working: Secret Santa
CollegeHumor's annual gift exchange. Somebody's always gotta be "the wise guy!"

939 / 179 / 2 years ago
Thursday, Dec 6 2007
2girls1kiss

Biggymcg309
624 / 95 / 2 years ago
Monday, Nov 26 2007
Kermit's Reaction
Two girls, one frog.

731 / 62 / 2 years ago
Wednesday, Nov 14 2007
This is exactly what my dad used to wear to work.

1761 / 194 / 2 years ago
Monday, Oct 22 2007
Brohemian Rhapsody
From the vault... CollegeHumor's epic frat party music video.

CH Staff
10090 / 755 / 2 years ago
Tuesday, Oct 9 2007
Picnicface: Powerthirst 2
Picnicface's energy drink will blow your mind AGAIN!

Picnicface
3872 / 316 / 2 years ago
Tuesday, Sep 18 2007
Commenter Business Meeting 2
Iz on ur computr, captioning ur videeowzz!

4712 / 1008 / 2 years ago
Monday, Aug 27 2007
Ms. South Carolina
The worst part is the contestants receive the questions ahead of time.

848 / 297 / 2 years ago
Friday, Aug 17 2007
Internet Commenter Business Meeting
This is what happens when corporations change pwn3rship.

7507 / 872 / 2 years ago
Wednesday, Aug 15 2007
Hardly Working: Phantom of the Office Part 2
More moments from your favorite CH Worker.

1156 / 106 / 2 years ago
Monday, Aug 6 2007
Elephant Larry: Minesweeper - The Movie
Now that it's a movie, you can use it to procrastinate for a full 90 minutes.

Elephant Larry
4150 / 158 / 2 years ago
Tuesday, Jun 12 2007
Excuse me, I think you're on top of one of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

peter pete
313 / 122 / 2 years ago
Friday, May 11 2007
Camping Weekend
From MTV's Human Giant.

Human Giant
459 / 67 / 3 years ago
Wednesday, May 2 2007
"This is from a football Saturday at Notre Dame. We were walking by this group of kids playing football. My friend told them he would give them $100 if they kicked the ball off to him and he didn't run it back for a touchdown. He ran past most of the kids fairly easily, but 'had' to stiff arm the last kid."

mooneytostle
1592 / 257 / 3 years ago
Monday, Apr 9 2007
American Gladiator
Wolf may be an animal, but Malibu was the gnarliest Gladiator since that guy from that movie Gladiator.

1172 / 141 / 3 years ago
Friday, Mar 16 2007
Leprechauns in Alabama
Revisit a classic in honor of St. Patrick's day.

1309 / 146 / 3 years ago
Tuesday, Mar 13 2007
Amazing Dance Off
Now would be a good time to stop backing 'dat ass up.

Austin Pender at Tri State University
75 / 33 / 3 years ago
Tuesday, Feb 13 2007
"We talked our girlfriends into making out with each other,and they totally forgot about us!!!!!!"

mike
1068 / 88 / 3 years ago

Thursday, Aug 16 2007
CollegeHumor Classic

The Way I Typically Imagine How Encounters with the Cute Waitress at My Local TGI Friday's Will Go

by Patrick Cassels August 16, 2007
Appetizer
- Order blooming onion with French dip.
- Make hilarious comment to cute waitress about your anticipated bad breath.
- Smirk sheepishly as cute waitress giggles at the self-deprecating humor of her new customer.
Drinks
- Order 5 Bud Lights for yourself and friends.
- Follow up with fantastic, "Now that we've got me out of the way, what will the rest of you be drinking?!" line.
- Wait for universal laughter from friends; flirtatious, This guy likes to party glance from cute waitress.
Dinner
- Order Pizza Burger (Deluxe).
- Wait for cute waitress to finish taking orders; shout "Spank you very much!" in Ace Ventura voice.
- Graciously accept compliments on your uncanny Jim Carrey impersonation from friends; slip Sam Adams coaster with cute waitress's phone number into pocket. (ALLLL RIGHTY THEN!)
Dessert
- Order Reese's "Peanut Butter Cup Explosion Sunday" cake
- When it arrives, smear dessert across face while shouting "Me like cakey! Me like cakey!"
- Bask in uproarious, side-splitting laughter from friends while cute waitress discreetly rubs your erection through blue jeans.
View Article
See More: TGI Fridays Lists Imagination CollegeHumor Classic

Like it? You Like it! (210) Comments (121)
Wednesday, Aug 1 2007
CollegeHumor Classic

Phillip Ellis, CEO, Gets Roasted at his Retirement Party

by Amir Blumenfeld August 01, 2007

[upload:2033814:large:center:]
John Stalking, Accounting: I met Phillip 35 years ago when he was just starting the company and I was a junior intern. Back then, Phil had two hobbies: Women, and whaling. Which makes sense, when you look at his wife. (Crowd erupts in laughter) Honestly, if blubber was money this retirement would have happened the day after Phil got drunk enough to marry that she-walrus. (John makes walrus noises. The crowd is cracking up. Somebody throws John a mackerel, which he catches it in his mouth. Crowd is just going nuts at this point) In all honesty Phil, I love you man, and I'm sad you're leaving. Here's to you, Phil! (John hugs Phil, crowd applauds. Phil's wife politely smiles and claps.)

Bill Stickley, Sales: Groucho Marx once said, "The problem with retirement is that you never get a day off." If you ask me, the problem with retirement is that you won't get 10 hours off every day to escape your massive wife's orbit. She's disgusting, honestly. (Crowd is laughing/applauding) Hey Phil's wife, I wish you were Phil's job and that he was retiring from you. (Another mackerel hits the stage, crowd erupts in laughter) Seriously though Phil, you're a lucky guy and I am going to miss you buddy. (Crowd applauds as Bill and Phil hug. Wife just curves the tips of her lips up, with no will power left to smile a full smile)
Keep Reading

See More: Roasts Retirement Party Speeches CollegeHumor Classic

Like it? You Like it! (251) Comments (91)
Tuesday, Feb 27 2007
Guy Who Got Laid Last Night Wants to Brag
by Amir Blumenfeld February 27, 2007

(Four friends sitting around dorm room)

Mike: Wow... I AM TIRED.

Paul: Yeah, me too.

Mike: LATE night. LATE LATE Night.

Chris: You guys wanna do something tonight?

Mike: Oh, man. I have got to take it easy, especially after last night. I got like NO rest.

Ben: Yeah, me neither. I had to finish this annoying paper.

Mike: Oh... I wasn’t doing HOMEWORK. I was doing someb--

(phone goes off)

Mike: Jesus. I hope that’s not YOU KNOW WHO!

Ben: Your mom?

(they all laugh)

Mike: No dipshit, not my mom. The girl I fu--

Paul: That reminds me, I have to get a new phone.

(Mike picks up)

Mike: (into phone quietly) Heymomlemmecallyoubackbye.

(everybody cracks up)

Mike: Sluts, dude.
Keep Reading

Like it? You Like it! (73) Comments (113)
Thursday, Dec 14 2006
Getting a Ride Home With Someone You Don't Know
by Jake Hurwitz December 14, 2006

So you met some kid that lives near you during orientation and talked about a carpool for Winter Break. Sounds good, right? Wrong. Just take a look at one of the many possible scenarios:

Dad: So boys, how were finals?
Son: They were fine.
You: Good.
Dad: How’d you do.
Son: They actually haven’t posted all the grades yet.
Dad: Really? (Turns to you) Are your grades posted?
You: Oh, uh, yeah, mine were posted.
Dad: Interesting…(Turns to his son) Now how about you stop lying to me you little cocksucker.
Son: Dad-
Dad: Listen you little dirtbag, I’ll pull this car over right now. I will pull this car over, tear down your pants and spank you. Don’t think I won’t embarrass you in front of your friend.
You: Really, they actually haven’t posted all the gra-
Dad: You just shut the hell up! Just because I don’t know you don’t think I won’t smack your ass til it’s pink!
Son: I got a C on my Calc final, okay?! I got a 74, are you happy now?
Dad: Oh yes, I’m thrilled. Thrilled that my son is halfway retarded. Thirty thousand dollars for mediocrity. Great, just great.

5 minutes where no one talks

Son: Can we turn on the radio.
Dad: No.

Keep Reading

Like it? You Like it! (147) Comments (104)