Alcohol is a beautiful chemical. It makes you stronger, turns you into a comedian, and some scientists theorize it binds to the "slut" gene in girls' brains, forcing them to tongue-kiss while you watch. When you wake up the next morning you realize the funniest thing you did last night was throw up in your hat and those tongue-kissing co-eds were big enough to crush your bones in a bone-crushing contest. Obviously there's room for improvement, so let the inane inventing begin!

A Beer-Tossing Fridge

Here's an invention that can be your favorite appliance and crack your skull at the same time. It's a modded mini-fridge that launches beer cans 20 feet into the air. Early prototypes dented walls and broke TVs, but the finely crafted finished machine accomplishes its goal with gusto, tossing you a cold one while you relax on the couch in a way that would make Rick Moranis proud.