God's Articles

1 total in February 2008

  • God Blog

    Revelation XIII

    by God February 01, 2008


    Suuuuuuuuuup? Oh man, remember that girl I was into a few months ago? The one I had killed so that she could come live with me in a more perfect harmony while armies of angels attended to her every whim? Bi-otch was Ka-ray-zay with a capital Kooky! Oh My Me, this girl was one of those 'I'm cold' girls, ya know? She was just always like, "Brrrr, I'm freezing." "Ugh, why is it so cold up here?" "I'm so cold, I miss my husband, blah blah blah." For real, i couldn't take it anymore so I sent her to Hell to burn for all eternity. JAKES! I sent her to Oakland, CA as a newborn baby, which is almost as bad.

    And it was good.
    Have you guys tried all these different kinds of Orbit gum? They're Baller! My flavorite is Lemon-Lime (obvi) but I'm pretty into a MojitoMint as well. I'm also really, really into Kettle Chips right now. It's like, "Salt and Pepper potato chips...of course!" If I did endorsement deals I would totes give one to Kettle Chips but last time I got involved in human stuff you guys nailed me to a cross. And you wonder why I burn down your houses sometimes...
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