God's Articles

2 total in May 2007

  • God Blog IX

    by God May 23, 2007

    Ugh, I'm sooooo behind at work. Why? Two little words: Guitar Hero. Holy sh*t, that game has Me hooked! I still play on easy mode but I've been slaying - Slaying - 'Message in a Bottle.' So seeing as how I'm so behind with prayers, new diseases, floods and fires I figured I'd let you guys help Me out. I mean, I've done a lot for your species over the years - thinking, the ability to choose, orgasms, etc - so maybe you could give Me a hand now?

    Ok, so I keep going back and forth between these two new catastrophes. At first I wanted to create some sort of ground ice that would, like, "erupt" and flash freeze huge chunks of land. But then I was like, "Maybe I'll just make a new classification of tidal wave and call it a Tyranowave..." Now I can't make up My mind. How would you rather have your city destroyed?


    Keep Reading


    See More: Gob Blog
    Like it? You Like it! (28) Comments (86)

  • God Blog

    Everyone, Please Ignore Paris Hilton

    by God May 10, 2007



    For anyone who is fortunate enough NOT to know, Paris Hilton is going to jail. I don't spy on mortals all day or anything, but it's impossible to avoid hearing about it. It's on the front page of every newspaper while news like, “Pope Stresses Church's Stance on Abortion” is buried on page who-gives-a-sh*t (sorry about these asterisks, if I curse it kills 10,000 people).

    And yes, I'm omniscient so I'm aware that when I blog about not blogging about Paris Hilton, I am myself blogging about Paris Hilton. Listen, I haven't been this serious since I made a pact with Noah - after this, I will NOT blog about Paris Hilton anymore.

    It's just like, why is Paris Hilton famous? When I read about Lindsay I go, “Whatever, at least she's going to win an Oscar for being Mrs. Robinson in 2044's The Graduate remake. Everyone will know it's stupid, but it's still an Oscar so whatever.” Paris Hilton never has done and never will do anything worthwhile. Not following the terms of a drunk driving probation is going to be the second most interesting thing she ever does. In 2032, she kills herself with pills.
    Keep Reading


    See More: Paris Hilton God Blog
    Like it? You Like it! (49) Comments (73)
God Rutgers

About Me

You think you know, but you have no idea.

View profile
Send a message

Calendar

Visit Our Partners

next previous
BFF
www.ign.com

Reading is over-rated. Now you can watch all your favorite video game news, reviews and strategies on IGN.comin HD! Why haven't you clicked yet? Go now!