Boss: Jesse!
Me: Sorry boss, fell asleep.
Boss: I got up to get coffee, that's an absurd amount of time to fall asleep in. Did you get my mail yet?
Me: Yea boss, got it in .2 seconds!
Boss: I asked for this 20 minutes ago.
Me: That's improbable.
Boss: It happened. This is all my mail?
Me: Results 1-5. Here, give me those back and I'll show you the next 5.
Boss: I'd like to just look at them all at the same time. And please stop playing with that hourglass.
Me: Sorry.
Boss: Also, I see you didn't print the memo I asked you to.
Me: Yea about that...Are you sure you want to print it?
Boss: Wholly and completely.
Me: Okay it's just that...you didn't use real words. Look at this one.>