Jesse E's Articles

4 total in August 2009

  • Other photos ruined by the inquisitive squirrel

    by Jesse E August 21, 2009


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  • The Love Blog

    I just got bit by The Love Blog...

    by Jesse E August 11, 2009


    ...and it's driving me mad! Your girl may be getting a heaping dose of crazy from the women's advice blogosphere, but The Love Blog will mock dumb advice and bad examples to the bitter end. This week's topic:

    Communication Tech

    Relationship advice sites go nuts for social technology, whether it's the new iPhone app that rates your sexual performance or a social medium. A site or device is periodically evaluated and translated into easy-to-read ins and outs, dos and don'ts, and other polarities that lend well to Top Ten lists.

    The two chumps with the same name who got married because of Facebook are the big story lately. The girl made the first move, which is always a turn-on, but she did it by searching her own name and messaging the first guy that came up. Which is a lot like playing spin the bottle at a family reunion.

    Nobody's appalled quite yet at Skype dating, a laughably paradoxical type of blind- or speed-dating. But people are starting to talk about the pitfalls of the EPersona: at worst, your Skype date could be furiously masturbating just out of view; at the least, e-mails can make you sound too smart because you have time to consult a thesaurus.
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  • Equally uncomfortable diplomatic meetings

    by Jesse E August 06, 2009

    Former President Bill Clinton meets with Kim Jong Il to secure the safe return of American reporters Euna Lee and Laura Ling.

    Mario meets with King Bowser Koopa to arrange for the release of Princess Peach.

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  • The outcast works up the nerve to talk to the popular kid

    by Jesse E August 17, 2009
    Jane: Thanks for meeting me here.

    Zac: Whoa. How long have you been waiting outside the locker room?

    Jane: Never mind that. I know this sounds crazy-you don't even know me! But...I have feelings for you, Zac.

    Zac: (sigh) Jane, there's only like 70 people in our class. And you did this in English freshman year.

    Jane: You...remember my poem?

    Zac: The Avril Lavigne lyrics you put my name in and read to the class?

    Jane: Uh huh!

    Zac: I remember. So does my girlfriend.

    Jane: Oh, her. Zac, you're just the flavor of the week.

    Zac: We've been dating since middle school.

    Jane: Ugh, but she's cheer captain!

    Zac: She fought scoliosis and asthma to get a full ride for gymnastics.

    Jane: ...and I'm on the bleachers...
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Jesse E Rutgers

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Jesse has, for more than 25 years, been preaching the gospel of...

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