CollegeHumor: User 1170747's Articles

CollegeHumor: User 1170747's Articles http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759032 Slacking off at Work: Worst Case Scenario Guide Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:55:36 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759032 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Friday

10am
There was a 9am meeting. You are an hour late, and forgot your tie.

Sock tie

Remove one sock. Hope that it is black or some other dark color, and not white. Using a paperclip, make incisions along the legnth of the sock, and cut it into appropriate sections. Break the paper clip by working it back and forth, and use the sections to attach the pieces of the sock-tie.

Once inside your office building, find a fire alarm. Make sure the guard isn't looking, and pull it. Barrel roll out of the way of the sprinklers into a stairwell. Hide in the basement until your co-workers begin to re-enter the building.

12pm
Your boss is approaching your desk. He has already spotted you with your headphones in, and you're listening to Cream. Only Firefox is open on your desktop, and all of your 5 tabs are internet games.

Bola

With two stress balls and your headphone cord, fashion a bola. Behind the wall of your cubicle, take aim and throw the bola towards your colleague in the cubicle across the way, with serious, but not deadly, force. Once your co-worker begins making strangulation sounds, stand up and yell, "Michael, are you ok?!" As your boss reaches the intersection, free your coworker. Receive accolades, and then recommend that the three of you go to lunch.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1170747"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.d3d18f68f7d3f58e6635676951a22809.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-03-27 15:19:31 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1170747">Casey Johnston</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 220 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751406 St. Patrick's Day AIM Conversations Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:08:30 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751406 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> make a St. Patrick's Day screen name and talk to CollegeHumor fans all day. Suprisingly, most people were at work and completely sober, and just wanted to check how many IMs I was getting (a lot) and whether being a intern is fun (it is, aside from the beatings I get when I miss deadlines). Nonetheless, these are the fruits of my labor.
1973 IM windows later...

"I just killed a goose with a chestnut. I just lobbed it into a crowd of them and one didnt fly away. I need body disposal tips."

"Casey. this is you from the future. do not delete this. Streeter will hand you a drink at 4:30. DO NOT DRINK IT. if you do though, its a boy."

"Him: hey my name is justin s. and i want this to get posted on the website.
Me: you have to say something interesting then.
Him: nevermind i have to leave"

I'm Not Sure It's The Irishness That's Causing It
"IM SO IRISH I SHITE GREEN"

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