My girlfriend hated Transformers 2 because there was "too much" robot fighting.
-Anonymous

My GF of six years dumped me the week of finals, seven days before I graduated college. She said she, "wanted time to be single and trust her own decision making." Six months later, she was engaged, pregnant and enlisted in the army.
-Rich

This August while sleeping on an air mattress on vacation, my girlfriend pissed herself, and because I'm heavier than her, it all came down and pooled around me. I woke up shivering, soaked in my girlfriend's piss.
-Drew, Wayne State

My ex-girlfriend's favorite band was Nickelback...
-Dan, UTK.

I went with my (now ex) girlfriend to a Coinstar machine. It's one of those things where you dump in coins and it gives you a check for the amount so you don't have to count them out and roll them. On the side of the machine it says that the fee is 9 cents for every dollar of coins you put in. I commented how that was a rip off. She replied word for word. "Yeah. 9 cents for every dollar, that's like twenty percent!" She's trying to get into grad school....
-Paul, BSU

My Girlfriend was watching Saturday Night Live online and stopped it to ask me "When does SNL come out on T.V?"
-Anonymous

A couple years ago I was on a blind date with this lawyer my mother and her friend made me go out with. After being seated at the restaurant, he told me he wants to marry someone as accomplished as his sister, explaining "She can cook and clean as well as my mother."
-Dina, New York

I had been going out with this girl for a couple months, and we loved being passionate with each other. One night we started getting at it kinda rough, we were kissing and I started to use my tongue. All of a sudden she started to suck on my tongue really hard, after about a second I tasted blood. She had ripped that thin layer of skin under my tongue call the frenum. I couldn't talk for a couple of days.
-Anonymous

My high school girlfriend's mother was my mom's gynecologist. My mother "got farther" than I did.
-Anonymous

I have had a crush on a particular individual for a long time. After never getting any signals back, I never pursued it. One day my junior year in high school the girl comes up to me and ask if I wanted to go to a party with her on Saturday. Before realizing what I did, I said "No, I'm going to stay in and watch the new Chris Rock stand up special." Needless to say nothing ever came about after that.
-Keith W.

The first time my high school girlfriend and i ever had sex we were alone in her house taking our time and trying to make it memorable. About halfway through losing our virginity her parents open the front door and her mom shouts, "We brought pizza!"
-Anonymous

I had been going out with this girl for a couple months, and we loved being passionate with each other. One night we started getting at it kinda rough, we were kissing and I started to use my tongue. All of a sudden she started to suck on my tongue really hard, after about a second I tasted blood. She had ripped that thin layer of skin under my tongue call the frenum. I couldn't talk for a couple of days.
-Anonymous

My high school girlfriend's mother was my mom's gynecologist. My mother "got farther" than I did.
-Anonymous

I have had a crush on a particular individual for a long time. After never getting any signals back, I never pursued it. One day my junior year in high school the girl comes up to me and ask if I wanted to go to a party with her on Saturday. Before realizing what I did, I said "No, I'm going to stay in and watch the new Chris Rock stand up special." Needless to say nothing ever came about after that.
-Keith W.

The first time my high school girlfriend and i ever had sex we were alone in her house taking our time and trying to make it memorable. About halfway through losing our virginity her parents open the front door and her mom shouts, "We brought pizza!"
-Anonymous