- Did you know: they may look clean but "good time girls," spread syphilis and gonorrhea?

- Did you know STD's were briefly popular after NBC's 2004 Super Bowl halftime Event: Playmate Fear Factor: Chlamydia Edition?

- Did you know, there's no such thing as "safe sex" with Al Quaeda on the loose?

- Did you know that a good way to avoid STDs is to not shut up about your Webkinz account?

- Did you know there's no "the good kind" of pelvic inflammatory disease?

- Did you know that when left untreated, "the clap" can quickly escalate to a standing ovation and a two song encore?

- Did you know that you can get herpes from eating breakfast? I swear it's true Jessica, so you can stop blaming me now.

- Did you know the most common STD only last nine months and is called "havin' the babies?"

- Did you know, my girlfriend's going to be worried when she sees I've googled STD's?

Inside this month's Voter Beat:

Shhhh! Can you keep a secret? Mike Huckabee can't! He couldn't wait to spill ALL of his love secrets to Voter Beat!Does Mike believe in love at first sight? What does he look for in acrush? Does his wife approve of his girlfriends? He answers all theseburning questions and more in this month's issue, and he's also signed a tank top for one lucky reader! Can you say Oh My(ike) Huckabee?

Ever wanted a chance to go behind scenes at with John McCain as he speaks at a Disabled American Veteran's Hall? Look inside! Onelucky reader will hit the campaign trail with John, where they'll "getout the vote," and get to make hundreds of phone calls every day! Plus John spills secrets about his experience in a Vietnamese POW camp, and tells us why his parents embarrass him! (Even though they're long dead!)

How bout more cool prizes? Hillary Clinton signed a program from her Augsburg Collegedebate with Barack Obama! Plus, I know you've definitely dreamed ofbeing a superdelegate right? Well, then you'll definitely want to enterour "Be a Superdelegate for a Day," contest. One lucky reader will getto go to the national party convention of their choice and get the startreatment before they cast their vote for America's future. Get all the deets on how to win in the magazine!

It's no secret that Barack Obama is probably the most famous 40-something in Washington D.C. How does he stay grounded? How does he make time for his friends. Does he have any pets? These questions and more answered inside!

Sergeant, Tom Degrassi, is among the thankful fans. "I've lost several men in firefights, and each time I've wondered: will the heavy, heavy mortal price we've paid taking these strategic locations ultimately keep secure enough resources for New Zealander Scott Dixon to win the Indianapolis 500? Fortunately, this year, the answer was yes."

"When he came in for breakfast, he was pretty down," said Rabbing. "I told him his Bulls still had a 1.7% chance at winning and maybe he should just be more hopeful. Then he rolled his eyes, and mumbled something about giving me the pick if he won because he didn't have cash for a tip. When I found out I won I was so excited I called him immediately!"

Schanwald seemed less enthusiastic. "I made a joke. What the fuck? What the fuck is she going to do with a basketball draft pick?"

FULL HOUSE: THE MOTION PICTURE

Daniel Tanner had it all; A loving wife, three beautiful daughters, and he was about to crack the biggest scandal of his reporting career. But exposing the truth comes with a price, and now the mayor and the Triad gangsters who fund his corruption are out to take Daniel and his family down before his story can see the light of day. When Daniel comes home to find his wife murdered and his three daughters kidnapped, the cops turn a blind eye and Daniel has no choice but to turn to his drug addled wannabe rock star brother-in-law Jesse for help. Meanwhile, the three Tanner girls, D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle, desperately try to escape the Triads with the help of the hilarious taxi driver, "Uncle Joey" who finds himself caught up in the middle of a harrowing adventure that none of them will ever forget.

- Did you know that your mother actually didn't like that pencil holder you gave her? She's never used it.

- Did you know that the best Mother's Day gift is one that comes from the heart... or from Nordstroms?

- Did you know that you're probably just going to get her flowers you lazy bastard?

- Did you know it's not normal to confuse Mother's Day with Valentine's Day? Seriously dude, it's your mom.

- Did you know that Mother's Day is the second saddest day of the year for orphans? The first saddest day is the day their parents abandoned them.

- Did you know that a greeting card hardly makes up for ignoring your mother all year Kevin?

- Did you know Mother's Day was originally a pagan holiday celebrating brunch?

- Did you know that the only thing greater than your mother's love for you is her disappointment?

- Did you know in Australia they celebrate Mother's Day counterclockwise?

- Did you know there's no such thing as Almost Mother's Day? Choose Life!

Oh, ha ha ha! Something I read on screen made me laugh!

I'll grip this pillow tightly. Is it because I am cold? Or am I lonely? Either way if you were my real boyfriend you would keep me warm. It's a real possibility that you would become my boyfriend if you clicked on me.

Don't I seem fun? Remember when I laughed? I clearly must have a good sense of humor. Look! Below me there is what appears to be a chat screen.

I am typing messages to you!

Why are you not responding? If you don't click on me how will we ever meet and fall in love?

NO! Don't check your Inbox! If you don't click on me now then when you come back to your home screen I won't be here any more! I'll be replaced by ducks with targets on them or an opportunity to get in a boxing match with President Bush! All I ever did was yearn for you! How can you betray me like this?

Hello I am a cute college girl checking my Myspace! Please click on me because I am totally real... WIN AN X-BOX 360!

"Did you see Stan Lee's cameo? He played the soulless man who would do anything for money."

"I love theater popcorn!"

"I should have waited to watch that on YouTube when it's a 3 minute montage of explosions set to Seal's ?Kiss from a Rose.'"

"Did you hear they are doing a comic based on the movie?"

"I couldn't decide who I wanted to kiss more, Iron Man or Tony Stark!"

"Badoo. Pwew! Pwew! Fwoomp! (Runs around like he is flying)."

"George Lucas really took Indiana Jones to a weird place."

"Wow, you can hardly tell that Robert Downey Jr. no longer has a drug problem."

"I was disappointed. That had nothing to do with the song "Iron Man."

"That movie just made me more excited for the upcoming Hulk movie!"

Student Caught Masturbating Behind Ion Cannon
Aresident of Yavin Hall called to report a man masturbating behind theV-150 Planet Defender Ion Cannon located outside his dorm window.  The Department of Public Safety reported. The cannon was undamaged but a cleaning crew was dispatched

Snowspeeder Damaged in Parking Lot
General Rieekan called to report that his snowspeeder was dented while parked behind Echo Base.  The speeder received minor fender damage estimated at 250 credits.  The incident is under investigation.

Tauntaun's Shaved in Fraternity Prank
Three tauntauns were shaved outside Dantooine House in what appears to be a fraternity prank.  DPS reported the tauntauns were cold and confused.

Hydrospanner Nabbed from Rack Near Docking Bay
A maintenance worker called to note that his FastTurn-3 hydrospanner stolen from its rack outside Docking Bay 7.  The hydrospanner was valued at 80 credits and was green.

Police Issue Wookie Alcohol Citation
Awookie was issued a minor in possession of alcohol citation, DPSreported. Police said the student was given the citation after beingfound pouring grape syrup into an ice corridor and claiming the hallwas his snow cone.

Graffiti Spray Painted on R-2 Unit
An R-2 unit notified public safety it discovered graffiti was spray-painted on torso after powering up from its sleep mode.  An arrow pointing the droid's speaker unit and the word "gay!" was written in black paint.  Police have no suspects.

- Did You Know the human heart is almost identical to a pig's heart which explains why you're such a fat fuck?

- Did You Know that Humans evolved skin and tissue to hide their scary skeletons?

- Did You Know that the major medical textbook: Gray's Anatomy, is mostly about doctors having sex with each other?

- Did You Know Da Vinci first sketched his Vitruvian Man, perhaps the most famous depiction of the human body, while bored in his Spanish class?

Wuthering Heights: Heathcliff's Revenege - In this exciting retelling of the Bronte Classic, you take on the roll of a space marine recently returned home to Earth. Your parents died under mysterious circumstances and have left you Wuthering Heights. It seems though there is more to this Yorkshire manor on the moors than meets the eyes and your young curvaceous fiancé Cathrine is kidnapped. You will have to use all your space marine training to vanquish the evil ghost of Heathcliff and the unspeakable horrors of 1847 England!

Huckleberry Finn's Xtreme Rafting - Huckleberry Finn will do anything to get away from the severe beatings of his abusive father Pap, even challenge everyone to a wild Raft Race! Face off against Widow Douglas, Miss Watson, Tom Sawyer, Jim, Uncle Silas, Aunt Sally, Duke, King, and more as you paddle down the white knuckle rapids of the mighty Mississippi. If the twists and turns of the river weren't enough, you will have to keep a look out for pirates, robbers, and racism. Growing up has never been this fun or this wet!

To Kill a Mockingbird: Furor Excessum - The town of Maycomb, Alabama found itself the center of controversy in 1930's and now you can be a part of it with this ground breaking massively multiplayer online role playing game. Finally players will have a chance to experience social injustice any way they want. Help Atticus Finch win the trial of his life and help Boo Radley start his life anew all while avoiding rabid dogs and the Klan. The open world design of this sleepy small town provide hours of game play. Features include an in depth character class system with jobs like sheriff, clerk, teacher, and shut in, each with their own move set. An inventory system to rival the Sears catalog with its choices ranging from all cotton shirts to seersucker suits. Plus, a robust clan system so that teaming up with your friends is as easy as eating a slice of Calpurnia's world famous pie.

"When I become you, I will not be able to do your beauty justice."

"One of the voices in my head has the same cute laugh as you."

"Shhh, dear. I don't think you need to lose weight. Plus this way I'll be able to make a vest."

"Wow, your perfume smells exactly like the inside of a guys face."

"Not even death can stop the way I feel about you."

"You are so still when you sleep. So still..."

"I can't stand the thought of something as perfect as you living in a world like this."

"You will be the one they remember me for."

"When we make love the screaming stops."