Things look a little different when you are at work...

1892 - Inventor Adam Abbot bursts into the office he shares with his fellow inventors.

Adam: I've done it, Gentlemen!  I've created a new, comfortable type of footwear!

Steve: Oh?

Adam: Yes.  You see, the walls of the shoe are composed of stiffened cotton and the soles are made of formed rubber.  They are light, flexible and great for athletics.

Steve: Athletics?

Adam: Yes, it's a new word.  It describes physical activities such as bi-cycling or fast-walking.

Martin: Well, why didn't you just say fast-walking, man?!

Adam: My apologies.  Now, gentlemen, what shall we call this new type of footwear?

Martin: Perhaps 'rubber soled footwearers'?

Adam: Good, good.  But I think we can do better.  Steve?  Anything?

Steve: Perhaps, 'Adam Abbot's Fashionable Atletikes Shoes for Upstanding Men of Position'?

Adam: Did you mean, "Athletics?"

Steve: Yes, whatever that newfangled word is.

Adam: Perhaps...

Check out the original NewsFreed.

How much it was worth it

Probability you'll do it again
Chance you'll have win over the dean in an academic decathalon
Probability your dad will chuckle and say he did the same thing when he was your age
Times fought the law but the law won

Illustrated by Owen Parsons

Your "Best Friend"

Your "Best Friend" -- not to be confused with your best friend -- is kind of a tool. Nonetheless, you share a few common interests and usually work the same shift. He's overly friendly and easy to get along with. He's cool enough that he can appreciate your sense of humor, but can produce little funny of his own outside of quoting his favorite movies/comedians. He's tolerable when at work, but watch for inquiries about your weekend plans.

Sample Quote: "Somebody sh*t on the coats!"