Jeff Cohen Likes

Hey Doug,

It's been a while, yeah? 7 years I think. 7 years since you last looked at my life. No hard feelings man, I learned English, that's a plus. No more with the pah flah bah attah mah shwah ah.

Oh! Other good news, I learned free will. That was a plus. For the first six months of your hiatus, I was just standing in my living room doing nothing. You wouldn't believe how many times I soiled myself.

Things with the wife are getting a little sh*tty, unfortunately. She's not putting out so I'm now forced to enter Move_Objects_On into the cheat box, move her out of the blurred area and just watch her naked. I'm starting to feel a little guilty. I think that's why you stopped, too.

Jeff: Well, was it worth the wait?

Justice, I'm pretty sure.

Dan: I think new gladiator Toa expressed the passion borne from years of absence the best when he said "Oota bata oota zuga numa bata yama zuga boota botta yama zata fukka."

Jeff: Fifteen minutes in I thought Hellga was a front runner for future Surreal Life participant, but after watching two hours I'm almost positive it's going to be Wolf.

Sarah: Was anyone else completely disappointed by Hellga's performance?

Dan: She could talk the talk, but she couldn't large foam square the large foam square.

Sarah: It just goes to show you: gladiators should never wear skirts.

Dan: I think Sarah wants to talk about Titan. I say this because her legs are quivering.

Sarah: My blonde Gaston? He's a real-life Disney prince. Everytime he looked at the camera and flexed, I melted a little inside.

Jeff: Titan is so smug. He's like a character Conan O'Brian slips into for 10 second spurts.