You took down your poster of Borat. You threw out the condom wrappers that have been on your floor since January. You packed up the rest of your room and hauled it off campus.

Your finals are done. You even met this semester's goal and had oral with that hottie who's been giving you eyes since freshmen orientation.

You lugged your textbooks to book buyback, bought some weed with the extra dough, and smoked one last J with your friends until you had to head back to your parents' house for the summer.

But, as we prepare ourselves for beaches, barbeques, and sunscreen, we look back fondly on the school year, which ended with a bang...

...a BIG FUCKING FREIGHTER-BLOWING-UP BANG!

I'm talking about the LOST Season Finale!

Here's what went down this week, in a bottle of Dharma rum:

Turning for the homestretch, Big Brown swept past Recapturetheglory, who had taken a narrow lead from Cowboy Cal, and from there it was just a formality as Big Brown cruised to the finish line.

Your heart sank when you lost the 20 bones you just forked over to the sketchy guy at the party with the bag of cash. But the real tears came when Eight Bells sighed a final horsie breath right there on the track.

You thought nothing could bring a smile to your face. Even Cinco de Mayo margaritas were a little saltier this year, from your tears. But, then, Thursday night came around, and you started to feel your heart race again.

Because it's Lost night, kids!

Here's what went down this week, in an underage girl's uterus:

We've all done it.

We let that person slip away from us. The only one who ever really felt right in your arms, on your lips, and just walking next to you. It was just the two of you against the world.

But, life throws us obstacles. Jobs, distance, or maybe jungle monsters, British parachuters, and time travel. And, the muddling of emotions confuses your scarred hearts and you make the mistake of pushing each other away. And the two of you find yourselves filling the voids with different, lesser company just to make the time pass.

But, in your heart, you know that you will be together again. And it will be right. And, when two perfect people finally kiss the kiss that was meant to be kissed, after so much history and on such expensive-looking sheets, I will cry.

I certainly did tonight.

This Jack-centric Lost was most certainly for the ladies....and for those who have loved the ladies....