Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.

Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...

Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!

Why do I let myself daydream? In my head, my life is adventurous: I am a dashing prince upon a majestic horse, with a much deeper voice, striving valiantly to save the damsel. And I also don't have to pluck my eyebrows.

But in reality, when I try to make my dreams come true, things go differently. I'll show you what I mean. Here's a scene from the inside of my head:

Paul is waiting in line for a burrito, and a beautiful girl gets in line behind him. Paul turns around to talk to her.

Paul: Can you believe this line?

Girl: I know, seriously. It's like, I have places to be, please.

Paul: Ha, me too. Maybe they'll open a new line for people who are busy.

Girl: (winking slightly) Yeah, but then you'd still be in front of me, and I'd still be late.

Paul: Well, I'd think about letting you go in front of me.

Girl: Oh you would, would you?

Paul: (smiling coyly) Maybe. If you were good.

Girl: (getting closer) And what would I need to do to be... good? (strong sexual voice on 'good')

Paul: Well you could start with giving me your phone number.

Girl: (taking a small piece of paper from her cleavage, and a pen from Paul's pocket) Okay. (writes down the number, and stuffs it down the front of pants) But this better be just the start...

And so on and so forth. But here's what actually takes place when I try to make that happen.