"Aw...that's nice." --Everyone who watches this video

That's not fair. If douchebags reclaim the word douchebag, then we have to find something else to call them. I suggest "asshole loser jerks that everyone hates."

If you're not married by the time you're two you've missed your chance. You're an old maid.

This kid can't live without bacon, but he won't live with it. It's a catch 22.

This is what the song would sound like if he'd stayed in West Philadelphia.

The entire presidential campaign has been an elaborate attempt to prank the nation.

Act your age, children.

The British know how to treat their ladies.

Isn't it great when people get what they deserve?

Never gonna make you cry.