Patrick Likes

  • Thursday, Mar 27 2008

  • 3 Ways NOT to Get a Girl on Facebook

    by Kevin Slane March 27, 2008

    Over the past few months, Susanna Wolff has done a great job getting undeserving guys everywhere a little action with her great columns on how to get girls. While I can't offer any of the same wisdom, I can share with you guys 3 ways NOT to get a girl on Facebook. Observe:
    1. The Faux-Facebook Event For Your "Lost Phone."

    Keep Reading


    See More: Facebook How To Dating
    Like it? You Like it! (224) Comments (133)
  • Wednesday, Jan 30 2008

  • CollegeHumor Classic

    A Conversation With an Indie Sports Fan

    by Goroman January 30, 2008


    Me:     So what do you think about the Super Bowl this weekend? Think the Pats'll blow 'em out?
    Indie Sports Fan: Psh, who even cares about the Super Bowl? The whole thing is just a ploy by the big sports companies to sell advertising. It's not even about the game anymore, it's all about money.
    Me: Yeah, I know man, it's all just a big hype machine now, I've gotten pretty sick of hearing about the Patriots every single day all season.
    ISF: Tell me about it, I used to like the Patriots back in the early 90s, when they had guys like Andre Tippett and Sam Gash, you know, back before they started selling out. That was their best stuff.
    Me: You mean before they started winning?
    ISF: I guess if you wanna define sports in terms of wins and losses... but it's about more than that for me, just because a team has a lot of good players and wins a lot of games doesn't make them good.
    Me: So who do you like?
    Keep Reading


    See More: Sports Indie Conversations Collegehumor Classic
    Like it? You Like it! (243) Comments (73)
  • Thursday, Oct 4 2007

  • Middle-Class American Psycho

    by Patrick Cassels October 04, 2007
    I'm having dinner with this as*hole from customer service named Brian Nadler at the hot new Arby's off of Rural Route 12. Brian is having the Ranch and Bacon Sandwich Combo with potato wedges and a 20 ounce Dr Pepper ($6.99), while I've chosen the Southwest Chicken Wrap and a Pecan Sticky Bun ($4.99).

    I remove my shower-proof Casio wristwatch from J.C. Penny's ($14.99) and roll the sleeves of my grey Members Only jacket up to my elbows so as to keep the chipotle sauce from dripping on its cotton-polyester blend. I bite into the tortilla and taste a mixture of fried chicken and industrial mayonnaise while Toby Keith's "I Wanna Talk About Me"—by far his best work to date—pumps from ceiling-mounted speakers.
    Keep Reading


    Like it? You Like it! (161) Comments (91)
  • Monday, Jul 16 2007

  • CollegeHumor Classic

    Frat Wall

    by Jeff Rosenberg July 16, 2007



    Keep Reading


    See More: Frat Chat Collegehumor Classic
    Like it? You Like it! (1,565) Comments (373)
Patrick
About Me

"This bio is pretty boring"-GOD

View profile
Send a message