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Memo&#32;to&#32;Cobra&#32;Command&#32;Employees</title>
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Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST</pubDate>
<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751935/ts:33</link>
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<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Cobra Command HQ</p><p>Cobra Island</p><p>11/17/07</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>To: Cobra Command Employees</p><p>From: Destro</p><p>Subject: Internet Use during Work Hours</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; As per our Illustrious leader's orders, all internet access will be locked down indefinitely while more stringent security and monitoring software is installed.&nbsp; I just want to take this opportunity to reiterate that your work computers are to be used for just that: work.&nbsp; Lately, there has been an unacceptable rise in the amount of productivity lost due to time wasted on frivolous emails and inappropriate "web surfing."&nbsp; Because of this, it has become apparent that limitations must be placed on internet access.&nbsp; As such the following sites will now be restricted on all computers at Cobra Command:</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>YoJoe.com</p><p>KnowingIsHalfTheBattle.gov</p><p>GIjoe.com</p><p>GIblow.com</p><p>JoeBlows.com</p><p>GIjoeSucks.com</p><p>Wikipedia.org</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Remember that when you misuse the company computers, you are not only wasting your time, you are wasting Cobra's time.&nbsp; The abuse of internet privileges detrimentally affects our entire battle plan, and it must stop if we are to accomplish our final goal: the destruction of G.I. Joe and the domination of the world!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Copy to:</p><p>Cobra Commander</p><p>The Baroness</p><p>Storm Shadow </p>

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Written Thursday, Mar 27 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729/ts:33">Randy&#60;/a>
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<title>
Memo&#32;to&#32;Cobra&#32;Command&#32;Employees</title>
<pubDate>
Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST</pubDate>
<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751748/ts:33</link>
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Written Monday, Mar 24 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729/ts:33">Randy&#60;/a>
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<title>
Sonic&#39;s&#32;Letter&#32;to&#32;Sega&#32;Corp&#46;</title>
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Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST</pubDate>
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Written Monday, Mar 24 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729/ts:33">Randy&#60;/a>
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<title>
What&#32;Movies&#32;Teach&#32;Me&#58;&#32;What&#32;&#39;Dazed&#32;and&#32;Confused&#39;&#32;Taught&#32;Me</title>
<pubDate>
Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST</pubDate>
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<ol><li>If you're a freshman with a hot older sister, you can hang with the seniors.</li><li>Abraham Lincoln can ruin almost any sex dream...ALMOST.</li><li>Gillligan's Island was basically the male pornographic fantasy.</li><li>The "Every Other Decade Theory" is complete crap.  By its calculations, the '70s sucked, but the '00s should be awesome? Wrong!</li><li>Coaches in short shorts command respect.</li><li>The older I get, the more rules they're going to try to get me to follow.  I just gotta keep livin'.  L-I-V-I-N.</li><li>Ben Affleck is a dick.</li></ol>

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Written Monday, Mar 24 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729/ts:33">Randy&#60;/a>
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Police&#32;Report&#44;&#32;Vice&#32;City&#32;Police&#32;Department&#44;&#32;10&#47;17&#47;02</title>
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Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:30:00 EST</pubDate>
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<div class="center_a3 full_a3 border_a3" style="width:480px;"><img src="http://9.content.collegehumor.com/d1/ch6/4/4/collegehumor.86ac7dc484ee4fad20d3e034a515fc1c.jpg" width="480" /></div></>

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Written Sunday, Mar 23 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729/ts:33">Randy&#60;/a>
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<title>
What&#32;The&#32;Metal&#32;Gear&#32;Series&#32;Taught&#32;Me</title>
<pubDate>
Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST</pubDate>
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<ol><li>Every terrorist bent on world domination will have some sort of insane super power.</li><li>When a group of these Super Terrorists threaten the safety of the entire world, it is the policy of the United States government to respond by trusting everything to one man.</li><li>If you are cloned, you will look exactly like your father, have the exact same voice, and while your clone father will like to smoke cigars, you will like cigarettes.</li><li>Your cloned brother who was cloned from the exact same person you were, will only slightly resemble you, have a different hair color, and speak with an English accent.</li><li>Mullets make you indestructable.</li><li>A Bandana is just as important as a gun in combat.</li><li>The best soldier to ever live looks exactly like Sean Connery, and his clone son bears a striking resemblance to Michael Biehn.</li><li>The world is run by a group of twelve men who died 200 years ago.</li><li>Next Generation Special Forces will be extremely near sighted, having their vision restricted to about a ten foot cone.</li><li>Metal Gear is not, in fact, a titanium penis.</li></ol>

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Written Friday, Mar 21 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729/ts:33">Randy&#60;/a>
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