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	<guid>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751935</guid>
	<title>Memo to Cobra Command Employees</title>
	<pubDate>Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:46:19 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751935</link>
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    		<![CDATA[<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Cobra Command HQ</p><p>Cobra Island</p><p>11/17/07</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>To: Cobra Command Employees</p><p>From: Destro</p><p>Subject: Internet Use during Work Hours</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; As per our Illustrious leader's orders, all internet access will be locked down indefinitely while more stringent security and monitoring software is installed.&nbsp; I just want to take this opportunity to reiterate that your work computers are to be used for just that: work.&nbsp; Lately, there has been an unacceptable rise in the amount of productivity lost due to time wasted on frivolous emails and inappropriate "web surfing."&nbsp; Because of this, it has become apparent that limitations must be placed on internet access.&nbsp; As such the following sites will now be restricted on all computers at Cobra Command:</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>YoJoe.com</p><p>KnowingIsHalfTheBattle.gov</p><p>GIjoe.com</p><p>GIblow.com</p><p>JoeBlows.com</p><p>GIjoeSucks.com</p><p>Wikipedia.org</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Remember that when you misuse the company computers, you are not only wasting your time, you are wasting Cobra's time.&nbsp; The abuse of internet privileges detrimentally affects our entire battle plan, and it must stop if we are to accomplish our final goal: the destruction of G.I. Joe and the domination of the world!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Copy to:</p><p>Cobra Commander</p><p>The Baroness</p><p>Storm Shadow </p>
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    		Written     			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729">Randy&#60;/a>
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	<guid>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751748</guid>
	<title>Memo to Cobra Command Employees</title>
	<pubDate>Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:19:44 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751748</link>
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    		Written     			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729">Randy&#60;/a>
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	<guid>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751734</guid>
	<title>Sonic's Letter to Sega Corp.</title>
	<pubDate>Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:15:12 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751734</link>
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    		Written     			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729">Randy&#60;/a>
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	<guid>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751728</guid>
	<title>What Movies Teach Me: What 'Dazed and Confused' Taught Me</title>
	<pubDate>Mon, 24 Mar 2008 11:42:13 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751728</link>
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    		<![CDATA[<ol><li>If you're a freshman with a hot older sister, you can hang with the seniors.</li><li>Abraham Lincoln can ruin almost any sex dream...ALMOST.</li><li>Gillligan's Island was basically the male pornographic fantasy.</li><li>The "Every Other Decade Theory" is complete crap.  By its calculations, the '70s sucked, but the '00s should be awesome? Wrong!</li><li>Coaches in short shorts command respect.</li><li>The older I get, the more rules they're going to try to get me to follow.  I just gotta keep livin'.  L-I-V-I-N.</li><li>Ben Affleck is a dick.</li></ol>
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    		Written     			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729">Randy&#60;/a>
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	<guid>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751691</guid>
	<title>Police Report, Vice City Police Department, 10/17/02</title>
	<pubDate>Sun, 23 Mar 2008 16:23:52 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751691</link>
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    		Written     			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729">Randy&#60;/a>
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	<guid>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751626</guid>
	<title>What The Metal Gear Series Taught Me</title>
	<pubDate>Fri, 21 Mar 2008 17:17:02 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751626</link>
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    		<![CDATA[<ol><li>Every terrorist bent on world domination will have some sort of insane super power.</li><li>When a group of these Super Terrorists threaten the safety of the entire world, it is the policy of the United States government to respond by trusting everything to one man.</li><li>If you are cloned, you will look exactly like your father, have the exact same voice, and while your clone father will like to smoke cigars, you will like cigarettes.</li><li>Your cloned brother who was cloned from the exact same person you were, will only slightly resemble you, have a different hair color, and speak with an English accent.</li><li>Mullets make you indestructable.</li><li>A Bandana is just as important as a gun in combat.</li><li>The best soldier to ever live looks exactly like Sean Connery, and his clone son bears a striking resemblance to Michael Biehn.</li><li>The world is run by a group of twelve men who died 200 years ago.</li><li>Next Generation Special Forces will be extremely near sighted, having their vision restricted to about a ten foot cone.</li><li>Metal Gear is not, in fact, a titanium penis.</li></ol>
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    		Written     			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1450729">Randy&#60;/a>
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    		&#60;img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 20 likes    		    		&#60;/p>
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