Kevin P. [Retired]'s Articles

2 total in September 2007


  • The final whistle blows,
    and the Saints are 0-3.
    Saints for the Super Bowl they chose,
    Which filled me with joy and glee.

    Could we finally end the sophomore slumps,
    and break out again this year.
    No, it seems we're back in the dumps,
    from New Orleans, we will not cheer.

    Were Brees, Colston, and Bush,
    just busy from all the fame?
    The Defensive line can't make a push,
    and our offense looks like Notre Dame

    We can't throw and catch the ball anymore,
    and why is it that we cannot run?
    Opponents find scoring is not a chore,
    last year was great, but '07 is no fun.

    I'm quite fond of the good times.
    Nothing beats a 4th quarter rally.
    Saints suck now, the death bell chimes,
    Just add one more to the lost games tally.

    There are so many questions in life,
    like why can't we be good again?
    With all our toils and strife,
    we have to beg just for a win.

    I still have the faith in New Orleans,
    Can you say miracle playoff run?
    No, that won't happen in a city full of sins,
    at least my LSU Tigers are not done.

    I guess the Saints are again perennial losers,
    we're a power house in the loser's pack.
    but one thing is agreed upon by all the boozers.
    The real Saints, the Aints, are surely back.



    -Kevin P, Lifelong Aints fan.



  • Michigan locker room:

    LC:
    Alright guys, gather up, we have a very good team coming in the Big House with all intentions of turning their season around just like we want too. I be--

    Mike Hart: Did you just say Notre Dame was "very good"?

    *awkward silence*

    LC:
    Yes, Notre Dame is Notre Dame, there always good and they're in the hunt for a national title year in and year out.

    *locker room arupts in laughter*

    LC:
    I watched them on film, they are good and they have this one guy who has a bigger heart than any of you! If anyone on this sorry excuse for a football team had a tenth of his heart, we'd be #1!

    Chad Henne:
    Can we see this film coach?

    LC:
    Yeah, sure.

    *Carr hands film to Henne*

    CH:
    Coach, this is the movie Rudy and it was rented from blockbuster. Have you looked at any game tape?

    LC:
    *tears up*...No, they didn't give my anything but a program and a empty KFC bucket.

    CH:
    Aww, come here coach, shhh. It's alright big guy. *Henne and Carr tenderly hug*

    *Locker room falls into stunned silence*

    MH:
    We're fucked.
    _________________________________________________________________

    Notre Dame locker room:

    Weis: ...and that's how I won my first Super Bowl.


    Jimmy Clausen:
    WOW WEE! Coach, Tell us another story. Pllleeeaassee!!!

    Weis: *Licks the nacho cheese from his finger tips* Not now Jimmy. Let's talk about the game Saturday. *Grabs a Big Mac from his pocket* Now fellas, we have a tough ball game ahead of us this weekend. We've been called on to go to their house and our fans expect us to win. *Spits pieces of Big Mac out of his mouth as he tries to contain his laughter* I think we can do it...*Weis loses it and busts out laughing*

    JC: I think we can win coach and if we don't, we'll know we tried our hardest!

    Demetrius Jones: Wow. That is pathetic.

    Weis: Let's face it guys. We ain't gonna win and that's that. What else do you want me to do. I'm only here to focus on our overrated QB's and that's all. I'm doing my job, maybe you should do yours! *Swallows a cooked turkey whole"

    DJ: They pay you $3.5 million just to get big name QB's?

    Weis: Yep. *Drinks a five gallon bucket of Diet Coke* Guys, I don't know what all the fuss is about. You know damn well that after the season is over, we go in next season ranked in the Top 25. We're Notre Dame for Christ's sake! *Eats a bottle of Tums* But seriously, I hired someone very familiar with the prestige of Notre Dame and he's gonna give you guys a pep talk. Coach come on in!

    *Lou Holtz walks through the door*

    Holtz: Get ready guys *spit flies everywhere*. We got to go out there *Holtz gets excited, more spit flies* and beat them at there own game. *more spit*. Come on! *inaudible*

    DJ: We're fucked.


Kevin P. [Retired] Louisiana State

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"If you want to be #1, beat...

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