 Run-of-the-mill College Student | If you have one of these bad boys, you're in college for one reason, to get out and have fun while you're at it. You're not too involved with the exception of going to a few sporting events here and there. |
 English Major | If you have one of these book bags, chances are you don't need room for bulky text books or some shit like that. No, all you need is room for a few novels and notebook or as you call it, a "Creative Writing Pad" Chances are you won't get a good paying job either. |
 Emo | You are an Emo. You refuse to conform to the norm so you pay extra money to buy the latest and trendiest back sack from a big corporation so you and you friends can show that you don't need the latest trend and friends to thrive in a world run by corporations. Way to stick it to the man. |
 Business Major | It's a leather bag that says "I'm going places" and it has space for your legal pads and blackberry. Sure, you don't get any legit business e-mails yet but you're always on top of your profile on Facebook. |
 Miss Acadamia | The girl with this bag is usually pretty cute but, you can't get a good look at her because she sits in the front. This bag is always jam packed with text books so that it sticks out two feet when she's walking on campus. This book bag says, "I'm cute and smart! YAY!" |
 Asian/ Child Prodigy | You can never mix this bag up with anyone else's because it has your fucking initials on it. The owner usually falls into one of these categories. 1) Asian 2) Really smart kid or child prodigy. 3) Lazy kid who hasn't got a new book bag since the 4th grade. |
 Sorority Girl | Usually comes with a pastel color Northface fleece, huge sunglasses, pink razr, and keys to a BMW. These things are usually 3/4 the size of the girl carrying them and most likely have some greek letters embroidered on the front. They hold a lot of shit. Sure, all that weight on your shoulder will lead to back problems, at least you look good. |
 Frat Boy | Hey Brody, gonna hit the slopes later? Trey, you going camping? No; you're in a frat aren't you so of course you gotta have the best camping back pack available. Also comes with matching black Northface fleece, Costa Del Mar sunglasses with matching frat strap and a lifted 4x4 Z71 Tahoe that has never been taken off-road. |
 Continuing Education | Yeah, back in the day college wasn't that big of a deal but since the kids are moved out, why not get your associates degree. We can here you rolling your books all the way to class and we watch you as you struggle with the handle when you're trying to put it down. These people will sit in the front row and always ask questions at the end of class and share stories of how they already applied to life the lessons learned in class. |
 Student Athlete | I admire the person with this bag. You see, they represent all that is good with college sports. They work hard to make the team and play for the love of the game. Unfortunately, they lack the God-given talent required to start. But the upside is that you still get a bunch of free stuff, including that book bag. |
 Scholarship Athlete | Lets face it. You don't need to carry any books because you are here for one reason. You run quick/ catch great/ throw fast/ hit hard/ shoot well. What you lack in academic prowess you make up in raw athletic ability. Get us a ring, we'll get you a degree or high draft pick. |
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