Kai Nagai-Rothe's Articles

2 total in March 2008

  • Hillary Bumper Stickers

    With Hillary taking some big states in yesterdays primary I thought it might have something to do with the creative bumper stickers she's been using.




    What do you mean? All she's saying is that SHE isn't Muslim.





    Are you saying experience doesn't matter?





    No not like dyke, it means she's ready like a gunslinger.
    Don't you know its cheap to insinuate thing about people that aren't true?

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  • Statistical Breakdown of Internship Opportunities

    With the approach of summer, diligent college students should be looking for ways to earn credits over the break. For every major there are a multitude of intership opportunities. Today I break down a few popular interships and go over the statistics of what you can expect from your time at each one.



    Newspaper Intern---

    Photocopies Made
    Guy: 2,339
    Girl: 6

    Times Invited Out to Drink by Staff
    Guy: 2
    Girl: 38

    Gchat Messages Sent/Received
    Guy: 441
    Girl: 398

    Times the Assistant Editor Will Make a Pass at you
    Guy: 1
    Girl: 22

    Coffees Fetched
    Guy: 160
    Girl: 12

    Times You Will Wake Up At The Assistant Editors House Late for Work:
    Guy: 0
    Girl: 6




    Local TV Station Intern---

    Coffees Fetched
    Guy: 381
    Girl: 226

    Different Excuses Used to Leave Work Early
    Guy: 13
    Girl: 16

    Total Pounds of Office Supplies Stolen
    Guy: 114
    Girl: 86

    Phone Calls Answered
    Guy: 247
    Girl: 247

    Times You'll Slip the Word "Labia" Into Closed Captioning
    Guy: 6
    Girl: 1

    Times You'll Be Fired
    Guy: 1
    Girl: 1





    Summer Paralegal---

    Boxes of Legal Briefs Moved
    Guy: 97
    Girl: 3

    Will Take Private Dictation From a Senior Partner
    Guy: 0
    Girl: 14

    Photocopies Made
    Guy: 3,828
    Girl: 6

    Be Spanked By a Senior Partner for Insubordination
    Guy: 0
    Girl: 9

    Faxes Sent
    Guy: 23
    Girl: 9

    Creepy Voicemails Left To Home # of Senior Partner After he doesn't leave his wife
    Guy: 0
    Girl: 3







    Musical Theater Assistant---

    Flyers For Shows Distributed
    Guy: 350
    Girl: 789

    Deep Hugs Received
    Guy: 140
    Girl 16

    Sequins Attached to Costumes
    Guy: 547
    Girl: 1,235

    Truth or Dare Played With Mr. Bevilacqua The Choreographer
    Guy: 6
    Girl: 0

    Smart Cocktails Made
    Guy: 53
    Girl: 48

    Number of Your Anuses Destroyed
    Guy: 1
    Girl: 0




    Natural History Museum Curator Intern---

    Tours Given
    Guy: 76
    Girl: 65

    Picnic With the Curator Under the Stars in the Planetarium
    Guy: 0
    Girl: 7

    Number of Fossils Broken And Hastily Glued Back Together
    Guy: 5
    Girl 2

    Love Letters in Ancient Greek Exchanged with the Curator
    Guy: 0
    Girl: 3

    Postcards Stolen From Giftshop
    Guy: 26
    Girl: 31

    Bent Over A Saber Tooth Tiger and Fucked back to the Stoneage
    Guy: 0
    Girl: 1


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    • Kai Nagai-Rothe
    About Me

    Kai is a writer in NYC who believes we have no choice but to bring the value.

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