We know it's hard to believe that the man who beat the shit out of Shawn Michaels at Nassau Coliseum last year couldn't dominate any medium he chose, but somehow Chris Jericho's metal band Fozzy was unable to pin the Billboard charts into submission. Fozzy suffered from a revolving door of guitarists and drummers who would drop out, presumably unhappy backing up a singer who couldn't even beat Rey Mysterio, Jr., in a no disqualification match (psh!). If Jericho ran to music to escape the violence of professional wrestling, he should have chosen a genre other than death metal: at a 2006 concert, Fozzy's set was cut short after their opener threw a bottle at a teenage girl in the audience. Luckily, the concert's referee was momentarily distracted.


John Cena, "You Can't See Me"

Professional wrestlers need a gimmick. Shawn Michaels was vain. The Undertaker was an undead warrior who drew mystical power from an urn. Stone Cold was a wife-beating alcoholic. John Cena, arguably the most popular wrestler in the WWE today, intimidates his opponents with freestyle rap. It's a natural fit -- becoming a champion in pro-wrestling isn't about who has the best piledriver, it's about declaring yourself the best and challenging the sexuality of your opponents. After Cena recorded his own theme song, a rap about rap called "Basic Thuganmoics," the WWE decided there would be no more pussyfooting around and it was time to produce an entire album. The Doctor of Thuganmoics named his first record after his outright lie of a slogan, "You Can't See Me." It debuted at #15 on the Billboard Chart and remains the most commercially successful album by a pro-wrestler. Whether this real-world accomplishment is more impressive than his seven world championships and two tag-team championships, we'll let you decide.

Type the name of the universe's most famous Nerf Herder and you won't be whisked to a galaxy far, far away, but to Chinese rock formations where the slug-like trilobite Han solo can be found in fossil form. It's surprising that George Lucas, who's spent the last 20 years systematically tailoring every last insignificant detail of his Trilogy with CGI, hasn't logged a complaint on the Wikipedia discussion forums. Perhaps he's relying on fans to correct the error - a mistake, since all the truly passionate Star Wars fans go straight to Wookiepedia.

There was a time when entertainment meant picking something from three networks, four radio stations, or, God forbid, reading a book. Everyone enjoyed everything, because there was so little to enjoy. However, once we discovered the Internet, we divided ourselves into sub-sub-genres and take pride in enjoying things other people haven't discovered yet. We no longer share anything -- most people don't enjoy either America's most popular song or our #1 TV show, much less both (Jay Sean's "Down"and Mark Harmon's "NCIS," respectively). What's the one thing we all still have in common? The educational computer game Oregon Trail. It's been around since 1974, which is earlier than most people believe computers were invented. Not everyone in the 1800s decided to adventure West, but everyone born since 1980 has at some point sat down to play this game. That's why, somehow, Oregon Trail the computer game is more important than the historical events on which it is based.

Kicked out of the greatest rock band ever, Pete Best is history's most famous person famous for not being famous. The reasons behind Best's notorious 1962 dismissal as The Beatles' drummer -- two years before their historic Ed Sullivan show - have been a point of debate among Beatlemaniacs and members of the Pete Best Fan Club for decades. Some claim he lacked the solid beats needed to support a rock band, while others claim John and Paul vainly wanted a less attractive drummer. Considering his replacement was the dubious-looking Ringo Starr, the second theory actually seems likely.

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Eric Stefani, Former Keyboardist, No Doubt

As a musician, Eric Stefani (brother of Gwen) has the other kind of bad timing. His rhythm is fine, but his career moves have always come at the wrong time. Shortly after making Airwalks and trombones cool again with No Doubt's breakout album, Tragic Kingdom, Stefani left to become an animator just as the band was becoming great, then joined The Simpsons just as that show's decline into thorough suckitude was beginning.

Lost
Before helming this summer's reboot of Star Trek, Lost mastermind J.J. Abrams was the patron saint of sudden bus accidents. Abrams is known for creating drama through mystery and the unknown, but sometimes all the drama in the world can't do the job of something with more than four wheels abruptly flattening someone.

Identity
Like a slasher film with a Michael Bay budget, Identity stuck respectable actors like Jon Cusack and Ray Liota in a rainy motel, and then took sadistic pleasure in killing them off one by automobile-liquefied one.

Fringe
Though J.J. Abrams waited only three episodes before weaving a suprise bus accident into his latest series, he at least managed to give it a unique spin. In this one, the victim isn't surprised by his new role as a human goo splatter.

Final Destination
As the Final Destination franchise slaughtered its way through sequel after sequel, its trademark deaths became laughably complex and elaborate -- a far cry from the first installment, when all it took for the Grim Reaper to dispose of whiny teenagers was 12 tons of rolling steel and a victim with poor peripheral vision.

28 Days Later
Danny Boyle's post-modern zombie flick explored the savage similarities between man and monster. The conclusion: you don't need to be undead to jam your opposable digits into someone's skull until blood oozes out like red corn syrup.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy was a show that never shied away from killing off major characters for big moments, and as the final story arc wound down the writers wanted to reinforce the idea that anything could still happen. The best way to show that was to go where no network drama had gone before -- knuckle-deep into a sidekick's eye socket.

Rob Zombie's Halloween
With a scene where a young man is pinned to a kitchen wall with a knife, the original Halloween is hard to top in the gore department. Luckily, the remake was helmed by Rob Zombie; how could it NOT include gratuitous eye gouging?