Therefore, I have only been up for a few hours and already I have been making sure my mind is at work.

Ugh, I wish Dexter's Laboratory were still on TV. Omelet du fromage!

Three random topics in today's rant. Spot them.

Speaking of Dexter, that kind of replicates my life. Not in the sense that I have a giant laboratory in my basement or that my family is a team of super heroes, it just kind of talks about me and my sisters relationship. Now she does not play Di Di and I do not play Dexter, but we kind of switch off on the roles. I mean, I love just walking into her room, messing stuff up, and walking out. Shoot, I am American. That is what we do!

Shock and f'ing Awe.

Or she walks downstairs singing some stupid song and messes up what ever game I am playing. She barely reads these rants, so when she does, it is her time to proclaim the fact that she read it to the entire house. She hates living in my shadow, and she likes to say that she is taller than me.

Which is not true, I am 5'6 ½ and she is 5'6.

But, my brother is a mini Mutombo and he is already 5'8 at age 13. Ugh.

Now a few days ago, I got into a little spat with her "boyfriend" (I have no idea if they are going out, but he is always there) about cars. His rice mobile, Acura RSX, is apparently better than old-fashioned German ingenuity.

He was probably drunk at the time.

He left and she followed a minute later, and these two kids plotted to try and hit on her.

Woa.

It went like this,

"Nah nigga NBA Live is better.

No. Nigga 2k8 is the be-(my sister walks by)

Woa, girl looks good as hell yo, Do you want her? Or is it my turn

My turn, let me go and try and holla"

I proceeded to tell them that she was way out of their league and "hollering" at her would not work.

Then I kicked them out of the store.

I am not going to sit here and act naïve and not say my sister is a pretty girl. She is a very attractive girl but believe me, I am not a fan of people saying this. I can count on hands and toes how many times my co-workers have said that after she gives me money (hell yea) and leaves.

Saoijflksadjflksa. Not cool.

I can take a joke though. If you ever hang out around me, black jokes are prevalent. Do I see it as disrespect?

Nope. Not at all.

I mean just yesterday I was hanging out with Kills and Thrills and they were deciding whether to fit me into their video stealing a radio of some sorts. Of course that is a black joke. Does it bother me? Of course not. Why? Because I have ragged on everyone of those guys in a different joke, racial or not, that probably had the same effect. If you can take a joke, I can take one too.

If you cannot take a joke, do not make one towards me that is racial because then I have to joke on you, and that is not fun.

You might end up in a rant of sorts.

Ha.

Seriously though, I need someone that is good at web design. The website planning is almost done, just need some more people to sign on, and someone to make it come to life.

See you tomorrow.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

I have come to the conclusion that I like to stand out as much as possible. I remember I wrote a rant a few months back, wow it has been that long, stating the 3 levels of drunk white people. Now, I am not white and I do not believe one can act a color, but I would have to classify myself as "That Guy". Now I am not, "That Guy" that walks around naked and drunk at a party trying to impregnate every lamp post in the house, no, I am the guy that is sober and likes to be the center of attention. I like everyone to know that I am there.

I mean shoot, if you were my height you would do the same thing too.

Being short does not really have anything to do with it, actually, it probably just has something to do with my personality. I am an extremely outgoing person that will not take no for an answer and loves a good laugh. I love a good laugh at someone else's expense, and I love exploitation of things that really cannot be exploited.

I mean, shit, look at Facebook? I exploited the crap out of it and now I am generating a decent reader base. If Facebook was an human, it would be a dirty used up whore.

Terrible image. Please wear protection while using this.

For example. In high school, I never had a specific crowd that I hung out with. Besides my homeroom being the greatest homeroom in known existence, I never had a constant group of friends. I consider my self...static. Yes. Static. Ugh that adjective sounds kind of hot. I mean, lunch had a lot of good moments and I am not going to sit here and reminisce about high school.

Although it was fun as hell and it is amazing how many girls became whores now.

Ha.

I went on the Senior trip and I got my damn face painted in an African design.

Lets remember, I am Haitian. Not African. Did I care that I was being horribly stereotyped? Nope. That is like us calling an Asian chick Mulan.

But Mulan was cute.

But she was a cartoon.

And a man in the cartoon.

No homo.

Ha.

At work I am a clown. I ask people random questions that have nothing to do with the craptacular games that they are buying.

They can be buying Barbie's Fashion Princess and I will ask them about Britnie Spears. Does that have something in common? No. Because Barbie is an undercover/underwater/secret agent dicksucker and Britnie is the shit.

LEAVE HER ALAAAAAOOONNEEEEE.

That could also classify me as trying to be Britnie. She did all that crap to be the center of a attention. I mean, Britnie Spears could take a dump and have headlines about her. Now I am not as extreme as she is with it because I will not ever get pregnant, (but Ahhrnoolld did?), and no matter how often you people tell me too, I will not shave my head.

I like hair.

Not on cats though.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Just in case you people know, I am switching it up just a tad. I am trying to fit more of my personal experiences which will do two things -

1.It will include every idiot that asks me to write a rant about them
2.Some of the situations I get into are just down right stupid.

Yesterday I woke up at 2:00. I never wake up that late because I am way to energetic of a person. I mean, the black inside me is telling me to wake up at 4 o'clock and chill on a porch or something, but I already used the "darkness" later in the day. Stay tuned.

You ever notice when you wake up that late, the whole day just seems to fly by? Combined with the fact that it was raining profusely outside (I just fucking washed my car. Ugh) and it was kind of cold in my house - it made for a very droll day. If I could name a movie that my day MUST be like in order for me to have fun it would have to be -

Die Hard.

The third one with Samuel "King Darkness" Jackson. I do have some days where that does happen. I mean, normally it starts with idiots that cannot take a joke, and the whole day me and my sarcastic ass are running around in and out from them. I never die, but I have been jumped before.

Not fun at all.

Moving on, I already know nothing is going on today so again, I do not shower. Let us not sit here and act if as we are all clean ungodly people that shower the moment we wake up. I mean, some of you reading this are not showering right now.

Dirty.

What do I do instead of showering? I watch Knocked Up. That movie would probably be me, minus the smoking, if I got a girl pregnant. I always think about if that would happen. I would poke so much fun at the damn situation it would not even matter.

In addition, sex while she has the preggers? I am sorry but personally as a person I do not like dicks hitting me in the head, so what makes you think that an unborn baby would?

So I then move on to a group interview at Zumiez. Lets remember, I was applying for the key holder position and not the little positions everyone else was applying for. Basically, I was applying for the position with the largest male appendage. Not that pussy shit. It was the weirdest interview I have ever been too. It was in a group and we did really fun activities. I was thrown in a group of 4 people that I did not even know and I just basically took control of the interview. I went there knowing I already had the damn job. Shoot, the district manager offered me the job without me asking to apply.

I mean they were giving out nicknames and I made my own.

Baby Usher.

Ladies, go dry yourselves off.

Ha.

Well Sam was there too and she did a great job so she should have gotten the job too. Eventualy I succumbed to the "Darkness" and ordered some KFC Sauceless wings.

Fantastic.

Ugh.

See you guys tomorrow. And remember when I was talking about Korean sneakers?

Seriously.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

So I have to apologize for taking so damn long to put up this rant. Because it took so long, I will probably not get as many comments since people do not analyze my page that much. That's a lie, but I figure I'd try. Now instead of penning together some genius, I went to the Kanye West concert, shouts to Mary Cody thanks for everything! And the show itself was outstanding. For all of my readers that have never talked to me in person, according to some people, a person that personifies me the best would have to be Kanye West because of my extremely inflated view of myself and where I see my self in 10 years and so on.

Yea her boobs are SO fake. But do I care? Nope.

New Jersey was the only terrible thing in that entire show. Yes the state of New Jersey and..well time itself. Here is a breakdown of my night.
PM
2:00 - Left house to pick up Stephanie.

2:16 - Still in Friendly's waiting. Smelly old lady sits next to me on bench.

2:18 - Still in Friendly's. Old lady farts.

2:20 - Old lady get seated finally. Find out that Stephanie will not be ready till 3. Depression ensues. Why? The train was at 3:11.

2:45 - it is SO hot in that place. Stomach starts rumbling.

3:00 - Stephanie is almost ready. She disappeared to wrap silverware. Hunger increases.

3:15 - We leave.

3:30 - Stephanie's house.

4:00 - We leave for the station.

4:20 - Unbeknownst to us, a train was leaving as we were walking into her cousins house for some conversation.

4:40 - After realizing that we missed the train, we decide to wait till 5:20.

5:00 - While walking to get food, a kid asks us for a dollar. First hobo experience for the night.

6:00 - we finally reach Penn Station. Show starts in an hour.

6:15 - After reaching NJ Transit and hearing the random music, we find out that we just missed a train to Trenton.

6:20 - We cut our losses and take the train at 6:54.

6:50 - Entering the train we find out it is a mad house and people are darting in an our for seats. I want to sit on the top because if the train crashes I would like to go out on top. Plus I have an inferiority complex. Stephanie just wants the window seat.

6:54 - We leave. What ensues is an hour and a half trip to random ass Jersey.

7:30ish - I look out at a stop. Someone is being jumped during the day. W.T.F.

8:30 - We finally make it to Trenton. After finding out that we just missed another train going to Camden we must wait half an hour for the next. We decide to just try and find food. We walk down thinking it would be a great experience because..well it is Trenton. The capital of New Jersey. Little did we know, it was also, Trenton, the shit hole of Jersey. We see nothing but hobos and really depressed people. The town is empty. We walk back quickly. I grab my wallet.

9:00 - After purchasing some really good popcorn we make our way onto the train. The train leaves and we sit on an hour trip filled with horny black boys, loud people, bikes (?), and Amsterdam.

9:30 - A little black boy sits in front of us with his father. For the next half an hour he stares at Stephanie. Personally, I find it hilarious.

9:35 - He tries to touch her leg. I am still laughing.

9:40 - She does not find this creepy son of Rev Run funny at all. I am still laughing.

9:41 - He flat out turns around and stares wide eyed straight into her eyes. I finish my popcorn but I am about to spit it up trying to hold back my laugh.

9:42 - A group of people in front of us start laughing histerically. Also, at this point, 90% of the people on the train have a bike. Where are we? Asia?

9:50 - The kid gets off the train. I really wished he blew a kiss to her. Gosh that would have been funny. They raise us right.

10:00 - We arrive at the stadium. Just in time to see Kanye perfom.
*Fast forward two hours*

AM
12:00 - We manage to make the final Riverline train out. A bunch of kids are on the train also. Great fun ensues. O yes, they started smoking on the train. The TRAIN!

12:20 - We have moved 20 feet. We are in traffic. On a fucking train. A train? In traffic? Because there are cars on the tracks. I swear, outside of NY NO one can drive.

12:30 - We talk to a few rich Jersey Shore girls. I was looking for the camera so I can be on MTV. After listening to them talk about the lifestyle for a bit, I realized -

They are SO copying every girl from Long Island. Long Island > Jersey

1:00 - We are SUPPOSED to be in Trenton. Yet we are still in Camden. One of the worst cities in America. On MLK Blvd. Life is looking out great. More hobos.

1:10 - This kid is standing next to the Jersey Shore chick. He coughs. He coughs again. He spits on the floor. Then he throws up on his shirt. He continues to throw up in his shirt. The Jersey Shore girl asks him to sit down, he tells her he is fine, then he throws up some more on his shirt.

1:15 - He then walks forward to the door. He throws up some more, this time on the floor.

2:00 - We reach Trenton and we find out that we missed a train to NY. The next train is at 5:00. So what do we do? We find a cab with 8 random people. It then shrinks to 5 because some weird guy managed to sucker some people to come in the car with him.

3:00 - The guy driving the cab decides to use the bathroom. I wonder if he is going to leave us.

4:00 - We get to Penn Station and miss another train to NY. We wait to 4:54 for the next train.

6:30 - I get home.

Ugh. Fuck New Jersey.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

I am not going to sit here and act as if I like my job. No one actually likes their job and no one likes going to work every day. I mean, who enjoys dealing with people? Or sitting behind a desk? Or spreading ones legs for money? Or eating 43 hotdogs for money? Or giving kids F's for money (not me...3.7 baby!)?

I love my job. For all those who do not know I work at the ever so popular Gamestop. To all the females that are looking at the screen like this right not -> 0.o? it is the store you walk into with your boyfriend/brother/lesbian friend.

Now there are many things that give me guilty pleasures. We all know what those are and everyone partakes in them. I mean, as I write this my little brother is yelling the following at the tv -

"I fucking hate cops. DIE DIE DIE.

Where did the explosion come from?

WHAT THE FUCK THEY GOT A HELICOPTER.

Sean Bell Asshole!"

Keep in mind he is only kidding but right now he is playing Grand Theft Auto. Now there are many things that is going on right now that he should not be yelling, but he is having a good time.

That guilty pleasure can be described as watching someone cry while listening to "My Immortal - Evanescane (sp?)" and just turning that hunk of crap off and playing "Ruff Ryders Anthem - DMX". I mean everyone loves doing it but no one wants to admit to doing it. Everyone has made fun of someone when they were down; everyone has poked fun in the crowd; a select few people have shaved various things into peoples heads while wasted and in a bathtub; everyone has laughed when someone gets hit in the nuts.

Not me though, I have nuts of steal.

I am all about being subtley condescending and screwing someone out of their pleasure. For example, I have to card every parent that comes in to buy an M-Rated (like a rated R movie) for their child. Now, when I do this I must read to them what is in the game that makes this M rated. Now lets remember that at this moment this 12 year old kid is staring into my face thinking -

"If this kid screws my ability to blow cops up, I am going to kill him. Right after I pleasure my self for the 8th time today"

Now for this kid it is like life went into slow motion. I am sitting there with my beautiful smile and ever glistening caramel (yea ok.) skin holding this game and is about to bring the Gamestop hammer down on his life. Now the parent is looking at me like I am the man that is about to save their kids from being exposed to the drugs, sex, violence, prostitution in this game and further improve their life.

Too late. That kid has already seen enough of that in between pleasure sessions to kill a female horse. By breaking its ankles.

Ouch. Too soon? (if you get that we are on the same page)

Now here is what the game actually has in it -

Blood, Intense Violence, Partial Nudity, Strong Language, Strong Sexual Content, Use of Drugs and Alchohol.

Now here is what I tell the parents.

Blood, DRUG PEDDLING, Intense Violence, GRAPHIC GORE and EXECUTIONS OF LITTLE ASIAN CHILDREN WITH THE CUTE BLACK BEADY EYES, Partial Nudity, FULL FRONTAL VAGINAL, PENIAL (makes it sound legit)NUDITY, Strong Language, Strong Sexual Content, FULL SEX SCENES Use of Drugs and Alcohol.

Now most of the time the parent sits there in horror and looks at the kid and says...No. The kid then starts pouting at the fact that I just screwed his chance of being cool with his friends. I think this is hilarious. So many little kids HATE me for this.

This does not always work though. Sometimes the parents just say w.e and let their kids have it. But sometimes the parents do not speak English and most of the time they speak Spanish. Now, I applaud these kids because they are very smart people here. The mother then looks at the kid and asks what I said. The kid tells the parent just to say yes and the parents says yes. But that does not work against me. I took 8 years of middle school Spanish little man! Get that shit outta HERE! Four words kill this kids fun -

Mucho Sexo, Mucho Violencia.

Seeyoulater.com. The mother then smacks the kid for lying to her and storms out of the store. You have no idea how good that feels sometimes.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

I live on Long Island which is the greatest place in the history of just...places.

Right next to Hugh Hefners house. That place rules. You ever wonder how many people were impregnated there?

Then aborted the next week?

Ew.

However, nothing can compare to...Long Island. I have had people tell me that California is better than Long Island but hey, we just cannot Ghost Ride the whip.

Or, Go Stupid.

Shit, we walk properly. Screw the Hyphy movement.

But, the one thing I have noticed, is how the people that live in the 5 Boroughs, really do not know how Long Island as a whole > Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island (smells like poop), Manhattan, Bronx (lean back).

Yes. Now, since I am writing this like a term paper I obviously need reasons so here we go -

Screw Metrocards
You never know how much money is on these things. I mean, if you think about it when going on a date with a girl, you "swipe them in". That is hilarious. Mass Transit smells and I do not like sitting next to the Rasta asking for change on the subway.

See? In Long Island, we have cars because the bus is cool, but it will not get you everywhere.

We do not swipe people in because we can just pick them up.

Gas Money? That is the currency that flows through our veins.

Soho is probably the hang out for every high school in the city

You ever go there with someone?

It is like going to a high school reuninon. It is honestly hilarious. Everyone in the city meets in the same area and shops at the same stores. I mean this is probably what Roosevelt Field Mall is like to us, but not for the entire Island. If you live in Riverhead, you are not going to Roosevelt Field Mall.

But if you live on the edge of Queens, you will travel to Soho just to...hang out.

No. I do not like being around many, many, multicolored people at many times in the day.

Also in Long Island sometimes a Friday night will ensue going down to the beach/parking lot/friends house etc and getting inebriated. In the city? Soho. (Intense Over-Generlization)

The city has like its own...lifestyle?

Yes. Lifestyle. I mean the magnitude of the house party is not as...interesting as one on Long Island. Maybe it varies between where you live and how you do things indivually and who you hang out with, but I have been to all kinds of house parties and the ones on Long Island are marginally better.

The ones that involve extreme drinking are way better because the cops do not break it up as much as a party in the city would be broken up. The ones that involve dancing do not always end in fights.

Shoot.

I love Long Island.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Ok so I just woke up and I started writing this rant due to the requests I had on Facebook. I know, I know, I check Facebook the moment I wake up but that is what you do at this age. I mean how many of you guys do that also? Not many. Ok, so it is now known that I am a loser. Fine. I have always checked things first in the morning growing up. I mean at 13, when I was introduced to my best friend of 5 years -

Porn

I checked on it in the morning.

Ew. Ksajfdlksajfdsa.

That is NOT the topic of todays rant. But if it was I would expose A LOT of guys right now. I have been trying really hard to be a devils advocate in my life. I do not care if the cup is half full or half empty, I am just asking why are we even looking at the stupid cup? Let's pay attention to other cups.

FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS.

But I woke up today and I was not given the right to do that. When I checked my request, aside from all the ones asking for nude pictures of my Adonis-like self, I was greeted by a group with Barack Obama with an X through his head and saying - "BARACK OBAMA IS NOT RIGHT FOR THIS COUNTRY".

Then, when I checked my most recent notes, I had another going out against him. Why people? Now Tom, and Chris "Fatty" Dicerbo (JK), I love you people and you know that. Why the outright blatency though?

I believe that Barack Obama is the best idea for the presidency. Yes the man is damn young, but was Kennedy extremely young also? I mean Kennedy had more experience than Obama has had at this moment, but that type of ambition is what we need in this country.

That is not the topic of today's rant either. Strike two!

If we look for things that divide us as people, besides color and our various appendages' sizes, we are all the same people. Perfect. Nothing else should divide us but as humans we love conflict and we let it divide us.

"Barack '08, Hilary '08, McCain ˜08"

"Yankees!" "Bum Sox! ?Yea I said it."

"Yankees!" "(sorry excuse for a team that likes to blow leads) Mets!"

"Girl, he's ugly." "NO. The two foot gap in his teeth works for him"

"Bro, your girlfriends friend is variably sub-par." "Lets get you drunk."

"Dude, I am not gay." "Lets get you drunk".

I am not going to sit here and ask for people to take a stand against dividing as humans because right now the country is horribly divided. Maybe that is the direction we need to go in right now?

O well.

If you want to win money, check out the contest and give me a name for my website. The top three choices will be subjected to a vote and the winner gets a 30$ AMEX giftcard.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Foot is still cold. For some odd reason searching for the other sock was better today from when they were on the same feet. Looking for the other sock reminded me of when I was with the sock when I first picked it up in a movie theatre parking lot. However, I still think that sock does not want to be on my foot when it is doing other things. I still miss it though.

So I am not studying for my final tomorrow. It is 2:45AM and I am just way too drained physically, emotionally, and mentally (I wish I was drained sexually too) to continue this mindless dribble about Management and how killing the weakest one is the greatest way to get the rest to follow.

I am all for sacrificing the youngest sibling.

If you notice each of these rants have some sort of inspiration to them. Something goes off in my mind, or in someone else's mind and it becomes transferred into pixels on to my laptop. It is like finding out where everything started. What everything is. For instance, my smutness rant was triggered by intense conversation I had with a group of friends. We realized that smutness is what adds the lubrication to the gears of society. Without smutness history would not be what it is today -

JFK would not have slept with Maryiln and she would not have commited suicide
(why do I say this? Because we all know JFK was the man. When you sleep with him, there is NO going back.)

Heath Ledger would be chillen here right now. Next to me. With a beer.
(why? We all know Mary Kate and Ashley are complete smuts.)

The list goes on.

Have you ever sat there and tried to figure out what just triggered the thought you had? Try it sometime. You move down a mental timeline that only some can experience and enjoy. Maybe this is too philosophical right now at 3AM but think about it. For example.

Right now I am thinking about writing this rant

Rant > Socks > Disclaimer > Inspiration > etc.

Or we can talk about me in class...

Science > Woa Pants too tight > Boner in class > Tacquitos (I get hard for food) > Science.

Me walking to the mall...

Nice girl in car > nice car > boobs > milk > cows > taco bell beef > hungry.

Everthing has a beginning and end. Think of it as your little thought processes. Or trains. Or if you're a Fallot, your're Choo Choo trains. (I wuv you guys so much lol)

Think about it.

Also, what did you think about that little interim rant posted in the middle of the day? I feel that I will start posting something every other day or so of just my thoughts. Something more serious. This is a perfect segway into what will happen on the site.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

My foot is freezing. I cannot find my other sock. You do not understand how much I miss that sock. But that sock apparently did not fit me anymore? I think it does but it does not think so.

You ever hear the story about the boy who cried wolf? Where he constantly said there was a wolf in the woods only to get attention and they always came to his aide. But when he had called and no wolf was there, eventually they had grown callous towards him and stopped coming to his aide. Finally the last time he called wolf there really was a wolf and no one cared because they all thought he was lying. The wolf came and guess what it did?

It ate that little piece of crap. With steak sauce too. He is now wanted as a sex offender in 6 states.

No one took that kid seriously. You know who is a real life version of that?

Moi.

That means "me" in French you uncultured college students.

People take me seriously at times. It always happens when I say a joke about them or their significant other and what I would do to them.

Those jokes NEVER go over well.

But on the grand scale of things, everything I say or do has deteriorated into, "YOU SHOULD WRITE A RANT ABOUT THAT". Seriously. I could be sitting there bleeding to death with a deadly blow to the balls and someone SOMEONE will tell me to write a rant about being kicked in the nuts. My FAVORITE thing people tell me to write rants about is when I hang out with them. Do not get me wrong, I do have a story week coming up where it will just be stories of stupid adventures with me and my cronies, but sometimes we will do something just plain boring and they say how I should write a rant about that.

No, I do not want to write about driving to the store with you to buy condoms/tampons.

Blech.

I use garbage bags anyway.

TMI? Ew.

Not only that, I will answer questions in class and people will just laugh at it. I am talking serious questions. I can get into an argument about abortion and people will laugh at my answer and then proceed to tell me to write a rant about it.

Asljfdslkafjsad.

Now do not get me wrong, I LOVE ideas, I LOVE feedback, and I LOVE vagina.

Ha. You were not expecting that third one were you?

But sometimes it is overkill. I mean, a few people have even told me to write rants about themselves. What makes you SO interesting huh? Hmmmm?

Shoot, I should have a dictionary for myself. You would only be able to purchase it in adult only stores anyway.

My website will have a disclaimer on it.

But, who is good at web design? Anyone want to hop on this bandwagon?

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

This weeks topic is probably going to be bettering yourself.

Happy Birthday Erin and Doug "Bitch" Kropp.

You ever have writers block?

Yes?

Well this rant is not about that.

Student Loans.

Read that.

Did you mess your pants yet? Because I did.

Those two words, for some, will dominate the next 20 - 30 years of your life. I am all scholarshipped up so I do not have to deal with that many student loans but I know some people who do. These loans are going to be your boyfriend/girlfriend for the next 20 years and will beat you in a constant fit of rage every month. These loans are worse than herpes, the clap, or crustaceans infesting your genitals, it is truly the gift that keeps on giving - for 30 years. These student loans are not really thought about right now at this day and age of the average college freshman, but they are brought up on one major occasion.

Refund Day.

Now I do not really see that much of this at St Johns, but through conversations with friends, when people get their refund it is like the first of the month for crack heads.

If I am correct, (when am I not? Eat it yo!), these refunds are coming out of your student loans. Loans is the keyword.

Something you take.

That you have to pay back.

Or give back.

There is no five-finger discount or the exhilaration of watching a girl being pressured into stealing from Claire's from the first time.

O they grow up so quickly.

Then they turn into smuts.

This money must be paid back (if I am correct) and the money that people are getting is just borrowed money. However, who here wants to take a guess at what these people ACTUALLY do with the money?

Well, my friend overheard a conversation that said,

"I got my refund nigga! Ima buy me some clooooooooooooo(insert lisp)thheeeeeeeee(exit lisp)sssss.

That was raw.

Is this not the complete irony? Spending something which you know u have to give back. That is like literally, "borrowing condoms" from people and promising them to give it back.

You know your life is going to mess up so lets keep trying.

These refunds are going to eat you up in the long wrong.

Like a lobster.

And we do not want to be Zoidberg do we?

Save that money instead of spending it, because you are going to have to pay It back sooner or later anyway

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Life is all about how people interpret things. In my rants, I have drawn life down to many things before which is probably the overall theme of the rants in general. Now, people may choose to take things harshly and bring up their pitchforks and burn the place but some people are able to take things and deal with it. Some people do not understand what a "joke" is.

You're ugly.

That was a joke but it is sad that you took it seriously and have now stopped reading this rant.

Ha.

Stare at this page very hard for a second. There is something here that you probably have not read it.

The disclaimer. When is the last time you read the disclaimer?

That disclaimer tells me, Jacques "5'6 Wonder" Morel, that I can say what EVER I want.

Eat it.

Now that is a drastic overstatement and I do not actually say whatever I WANT but it does give me that sort of "leeway" to say what I want within reason.

Screw reason.

Sometimes my view on certain things is completely misconstrued such as my view on women -

I do not have a bad view on women. I love you guys.

No pun intended. No homo.

Lol.

However, that disclaimer should be the only thing taken seriously in this entire rant. When I say something it is whatever is the first to spew out of the cesspool I call a mind and is not checked. It is only checked when I hit F7 in Word to get a good spell-check. Now, some people will actually sit there and take what I said to heart. I have that type of power.

You're still ugly.

Are we taking things to seriously? Is life just one big misunderstanding? Are we really taking a loss every time we step out of bed and out of our comfort zone? The people that are truly living life are the same people that can read something terrible about them and act like nothing happened. Now none of that fake "screw the world" confidence, I am talking serious confidence where you will not just blow off anyone who says this about you or your race. It actually makes you think about what could happen and if they are right and then you move along with your day.

Or you sit at that computer and angrily comment me. I love comments so please, if you read constantly...shoot a comment every now and then.

Nevertheless, that disclaimer is there so you know what you are dealing with before you start. You already know what you are going to read in here is raunchy, edgy, and slightly arousing.

Growl.

We need to start taking jokes and not taking shots. Shots are not always good.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

As I write this rant, the sun is rising over the overly-windy smutfilled school of St Johns University. Depressingly, this means that I have not gone to sleep at all because why would I wake up before 6 in the first place?

Psh, are you kidding? No black person wakes up before 11.

Breaking morning should be on everyone's list to do before they get married.

Yes married because it is the same thing as death.

That might be discussed later if my brain travels into that direction.

I look outside and I see a squirrel getting busy searching for nuts.

Their lives are so monotonous.

Search for nuts.

Climb tree.

Take down female squirrel.

Die.

That's a squirrels life.

But, if you take this into perspective, does it not represent a normal college students life?

Search for free food.

Stumble back to the dorm.

Have sex with female college student

Fail/pass.

Life is one giant record that is constantly revolving. Everything has a revolving door and people come and they go but sometimes, people hang out in the lobby of life with you and as stated before they take that bow out of your life when the time need be. This happens in everything that we do that involves human interaction.

Family members being born, living, dying.

Girlfriends/wives, which you meet, fall in love, and break up.

The one night stand girl which you meet, have back breaking sex, and cum on/in the nearest available body part.

A squirrels life is no where near as complicated as a humans though, but it does have the same principles.

Like 50 Cent said, we are all looking to find a "slut" with a nice butt to get a nut. In most cases they are not sluts and we are not trying to get a nut. The women walks into your lobby through that same revolving door and plants her self right between your heart and your penis.

Total control.

That squirrel depends on the woman to accept him so he can further spread his genes through out the genepool. Sometimes is like fighting an uphill battle for the squirrel to spread his genes but if he works at it he is accepted and baby squirrels are made.

(P.S. He take Enyzte).

We stumble back to dorm in order to get as much love as possible from other people while we are in our most uncomfortable and satiable spot -

Drunkenness.

And the free food is a completely different story at the time.

It is sad to find out when someone is trying to walk through that door but cannot because you have the keys to either set them free or bring them back to the nice, plush leather, chair which is made from real Seabiscuit. Someone is trying to walk out of the are but it will not let them walk no matter how hard you try -

Sorta like white kids on leashes.

People have problems.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

On Wednesday May 14, 2008, I will move out of St Johns and back home. The first year of college will officially end as soon as I ace my Management Final and secure my 4.0.

More like a 3.6 since I am pulling a solid C in that class but let us move on.

Now everyone knows the things that should happen during freshman year and I am not going to lie, most of it really did happen. It was amazing how you could watch someone slowly fail out or someone excel or someone slowly turn into a smut.

The italics made that sentence SO much better.

I believe that in order to get the true college experience that you must dorm. Now I went home about 2 weekends out of the month every month and I partially regret that because of all the things I missed out on that happened on the weekends but there is nothing I can take back.

However, I did manage to see my share of true and scary stuff that was predicted by everyone that went through his or her first year of college already.

Let us look.

Get some popcorn - this might be good.

The Freshman 15

Lets start out by saying that I lost weight through out my freshman year. Me being the former wrestler I was (ladies, I LOVE being on top. Get at me.) I was able to not eat food at 3AM like some of the things I have witnessed here. Now it was also extremely (you do not even KNOW) entertaining to watch people gain that 15 pounds. Everyday you would see a new love handle on them or a new chin and you would laugh because they just left the dining hall. And the dining hall should be doing the OPPOSITE.

(P.S. If you wanted to be regular you went to the dining hall.

Catch my drift?

No really, I just came from the dining hall.)

The Power of Free Food
Hey, want to know what is the easiest way to get girls in college?

No, not roofies. That only works at bars.

Free Food. Shoot, if you wanted PEOPLE to come and bother you, you would have free food.

Pizza was probably the freshman favorite RIGHT next to the sub par Chinese food that is located around the campus. How many times would people walk into your room and ask for something to eat, drink, or suck on?

Yes, suck on.

You could have a Gay Rights rally and if you wanted conservative freshman you had free food.

Shit, I would go to a Feminist rally if they cooked and had free food for me.

Is that not COMPLETE irony?

Smutness

Ahhh the favorite part about college. The smutness levels. I will not even entertain this one because Jarell and I ALREADY HAVE.

Check it out. It is good.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=14618918108&id=1377300273&index=23

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Happy Birthday Stephanie and Katie

As of this writing, May 8th 2008 at 2:06AM, I have 4 facial hairs on my chin. This is an all time record for numbers of facial hairs and since it is SUCH a special occasion, I am going to name them -

Jose
Soo-Yung
Darnell
Bob

I am so stereotypical.

But these facial hairs mean more to me than life itself. Seriously. I cut people who try to cut my facial hairs. The barber asked to cut them once and it was a scene. A serious scene. I started breaking the windows on his car because he tried to mess with Jose. And Jose told me to cut him. Soo-Yung told me to chop him, Darnell told me to cap his ass and Bob? Well he told me to kill him and wear his skin as a costume.

Bob is the weird one.

In all seriousness though (ha.) The common saying is that you become a man when you have facial hair. I mean shoot, they send a razor to your house with your draft card (my father took that razor because he automatically assumed that I could not use the four blades of glory). Is this what makes you a man?

What really defines a man anyway? Someone who takes care of his kids and provides for his family? Someone who treats women with respect? Someone who goes to Church on Sunday and does not have sex on a Sunday FOR IT IS THE LORD'S DAY PEOPLE.

Jeez, while Jarell and I are chilling with sexy ass angels, you women can burn for wanting sex on a Sunday.

Gosh.

You expected "God" right? Ha! No blasphemy in this rant today!

However, what really makes men? Must one fit all of those qualities to be a man? What if we are missing one quality?

Or do we need facial hair?

Or chest hair?

I mean take a look at our society. The idea of a "man" has changed for years. Ken dolls used to only have a 4 pack, now they have 12 packs and lets just say Ken has been taking enzyte. No longer a man needs to provide SOLEY for his family as our partners in crime, women, have become an influx in the work force and now the pie is shared. No more cooking in front of a stove all day and being a baby machine.

Nope.

Now they work all day and are baby machines.

I kid.

But what really makes a man? They say the shoes make the man...

Well I rock Dunks and I cannot play basketball. How does that talk about me?

Or, the person who signed their paycheck for some Jordans or Pradas, are they automatically better men because they have shoes?

If so, then I am buying moon boots.

Think about it.

No homo.

Lol.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Think very hard for a second. I mean seriously. Turn around, stare at your roommate, and think very hard (if you do not have a roommate stare at your favorite body part). Have you watched a sporting event in the past 9 months? Probably. Either it was the Super Bowl, (where the Giants shitted on the waste of a city Boston), Baseball, or Basketball there has been one constant through out this.

No, not Boston being a continuing waste of a city, but it is a close second.

Soulja Boy.

Yea So- YA TRICK YA- ulja Boy

Soulja Boy is the most popular rapper in the "game" right now. If rap was a high school, Soulja Boy would be that foreign exchange student everyone liked because he did something that was the same; he just added his own little retarded twist on it. Now everyone loves the foreign exchange student -

I like ones that walk around naked. Remember, forward pictures to my email!

Now before we go in to depth on how I am usually right (FOR EXAMPLE, MILEY CYRUS MESSED UP! AND I CALLED THAT REMEMBER? If you did not see that rant, click HERE

Soulja Boy made enough money off RINGTONES to never work ever again in his entire life.

Well he is black, so the four baby mothers and the flashy cars for everyone on the block will make him pay.

Depressing right?

Just watch.

However, I MUST make a bold statement here. Drum roll please... (Clap your breastases for the same effect!)

SOULJA BOY Is the Vanilla Ice of the 20's. Now if you remember, Vanilla Ice was a flaming piece crap that basically dictated rap for two years. When I say dictated, I mean that he was on top of the rap game.

If you honestly take this into perspective, Soulja Boy will never have something as catchy and as ignorant as "Crank Dat" which Vanilla Ice did also with "Ice Ice Baby". Both of their songs get played in succession at various sporting events. In a club, they are both played and WILL be played for years to come.

That is impressive.

Soulja Boy, just like Vanilla, is crankin it all over girls faces as we speak, and Vanilla was icing girls faces too, but it caught up to him, and now he is a one hit wonder.

He will slowly fall out of existence and resort to doing porn.

Which Vanilla Ice (if I remember correctly, I think there was a news story about it) did.

Well, he already has the perfect name for it. (no homo)[does it not seem gay as hell now? See I was right!]

Camron does it. All of Dipset does it. Pretty much all of the rap game does it. It is running rampant through the African Community right now. Everyone that does this is suffering from something that cannot be cured. The symptoms are abstract stupidity, loud voices, and ignorance. What is it?

No-Homoness.

Yes. That is running through the black lifestyle right now and it is killing the drive of the black man. Besides the fact that we took extra time to do things as it is, now it just slows us down even more. Why? Because we are afraid to touch someone.

Now before you all pick up your pitchforks and make your way to my dorm room to attack me, lets clear this up. I am not homosexual nor have I ever had the thought of being one. I am comfortable with my sexuality and I do not ever second guess my self. This is one of the many reasons I consider my self an Elitist. That is saved for another rant.

Now I am not going to sit here and act like I have not used the word my self because I did. I used it avidly for a point because it is really frustrating having someone catch your words on a word by word basis. Therefore, I started saying it so I could stop people from annoying me. I do not like being annoyed.

Saying "No Homo" is extremely immature in my opinion. It has turned into a fad with people saying it that have no idea why they are saying it. If you know that someone is not talking about anything homosexual, why must one call it out? I mean here is a normal black conversation -

"Yo was good my nigga - No homo

Nothing chillin holdin my nuts - No homo

Word yo, I wanna get in this niggas ass - PAUSE

Really nigga what he do to you? - Pause

I have no idea, but he smells good - Pause

Word is bond yo, hold on, - rewind

Oy donb si dorw - fast forward

Word is bond yo. "

That is what we have become. I mean it is great that people are actually listening to the conversations enough in order to be able to butcher your words?

The major flaw with "No Homo" is the fact that when you say it, it MAKES what you are saying is gay.

Seriously think about it.

When you are having a conversation about how you accidentally bumped a dude walking down the street, when you say "No Homo" you sound gay. Why? Because it changed the context of the saying. Now you are sitting there thinking about him bumping into another man.

No homo.

See does that not sound gay now?

Shoot, I have even witnessed homosexuals saying no homo. Get out of here. We have a problem and it can only be solved by a smart black man.

No homo.

See? Now you're thinking about it all gay. Shame on you!

Happy Birthday Kelly and Allyson

The whole immigrant thing is a hot topic for debate in this country. Now we already know the facts and I am not here to talk about them but I am here to shed some light on it and make you think of it differently. Now, we are not here to argue if illegal immigrants should receive amnesty or not we are here to think objectively. I mean that should be our job as humans.

(Yo, Bro, She is so ugly yo)

(Dude, your thinking out side the box, I bet you do not notice how she looks when shes naked)

Today is Cino De Mayo which traditionally is an Mexican holiday and an American drinking fest. St Patricks Day is an American Holiday about an Irish man. Irish Day in Long Beach is just another excuse for them to get Zooted.

Crazy people living there.

Think about it. Besides all of the hatred, deep down, Americans LOVE immigrants. Immigrants is what makes this country go around. This is not directed to Hispanics at all since the influx of African American immigrants rises daily.

Damn Trini's!

It helps to actually take this in perspective. Today, everyone will be as drunk as they possibly CAN or WANT to be. Now there will be a ton of sober people (virgins...psh lol jk) but there is still the people that are going to party like it was the 80's. Why?

For a Mexican holiday.

The same people that are saying that all of them should go back to their country will be out drinking themselves stupid, or even worse, into bed with a fat man, in the name of the people they hate so much.

THIS IS A MEXICAN HOLIDAY PEOPLE. You cannot be any sort of racist to even celebrate this holiday. For all you prissy white chicks (even black chicks) who give dirty looks when they come to mow the lawn?

Do not drink today because you cannot accept them as people, than why drink in their name?

America loves being in altered states of mind. I mean, look at our president. He is in a constant altered state of mind. Americans favorite catch phrase is,

"I slept with him/her last night?"

That is the smuts favorite catch phrase too.

We need a set aside just plain out, DRINKING DAY. A day where the roads close, schools close, etc and everyone is allowed to get as blitzed as they want. Condoms should be passed out because if not, a baby boom will commence.

Lol. But, lets play a game. I have written 3 rants drunk, can any of you pick out which one?

Try it out.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

It is 4AM as of the writing of this rant. My palms are sweating and I am shaking. My neck itches. My eyes are watery and my head is throbbing. I cannot even see straight. The only thing that will save the correct grammar of this rant is the little paper clip that always butchers my spelling.

I need help.

I am scared right now. I spent all day selling it to other black people. I spent all day touching it. I was using it immensely last week and now I really need it again.

It is so cold.

My dog just woke up. I screamed at it in a fit of withdrawal rage.

I need some Grand Theft Auto.

Now, before everyone here does a WTFBBQSAUCE!!!1111 YoU aLrEaDy DiiD GTaa!

This is different. I did not notice how good GTA was until I have had a week to play it. The game is phenomenal. Asides from sex, money, and world domination, GTA is the next thing I think about. I was about to pass up going out on Wednesday AND Friday just because I was in the middle a mission.

Kill the Haitians - LOOK IT UP BEFORE YOU GET ANGRY.

Now I did eventually go out to do completely worthwhile and hysterical things, it was still hard to get over this game. I spoke to a fellow E-THUG a few days ago and he told me how he broke morning playing this game.

I believe it.

Running over old ladies and getting prostitutes is so much fun.

Putting the prostitutes to sleep is one of the most fun parts too.

Literally.

GTA has probably changed many lives just in this week alone. I will acknowledge that I have stayed in my room longer to play it. The shower compared to GTA is nothing.

Church? We cannot play GTA in there.

Shoot, some men would postpone the birth of their BABY in order shoot someone in the face with a rocket launcher. That is just as smart as parents naming their kids, Bret and Farve.

If I have two kids I will name them ass and titties. Or in the more politically correct way, Gludious maximus, and breastases.

Think about it, are we, as humans, completely obsessed with entirely different realities than our own? I mean why are we so damn obsessed with heaven? Why are we so obsessed with learning new things...with going to space? Because we are always looking for something better...and depends on your religion

That is how you will find something better.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Everyone loves kids. That is probably one of a teenagers favorite things to do. Everything that leads up to actually...having them. Now when you think about it, it is a rampant problem in society. I work at an area where the kids parents are the same age as me. Now besides the fact that a few mothers are drop dead gorgeous (Man I Like Fries - if you get this we are on the same page) some of them look like they have never even had a life.

Well besides their kids at least.

Now in the Ed Hardy rant I already touched on how young parents dress their kids to look like smaller, boogier, cuter images of themselves.

What does this get us?

Weaved up, hoodratted up, kids. These kids have worse attitudes than Susan B Anthony at a steakhouse.

Hehe.

This is why I am going to start a campaign - I Support Taking Candy from Hoodrat Babies.

Yes! This is just like the no child left behind act, except it resembles the Jacques Sweet tooth Act of 2005.

I am all for taking candy from a baby that looks flyer than me. Why? Because he obviously does not need it.

I want some damn Jordans. But I cannot afford them. Why?!!? Because I have to pay for some other stuff. And what gets lost in the translation of the other stuff?

Some fucking candy.

So, I am going to take candy from every little kid with fresh Jordans I see on Jamaica Avenue. When their parents get mad at me, (when they are not hitting on other women, WELCOME TO JAMAICA AVENUE) I will say,

"He does not need any candy. He might drop it on his fresh Jordans. Me and my Vans need some candy".

I am all for punting the kids shortly afterwards too.

I mean, dressing your kid to look like you just because you could not spend 3 dollars on a condom is something that really should not be happening. Instead of working on the alphabet or making sure, the most prominent figure in your child's life is not Kayla Suxxx and 50 Cent, you spend money on Jordans.

Not only Jordans, any other overly priced made by Asians in a sweatshop sneaker.

Depressing.

I am talking about the Asian sweatshop workers, not the babies. It is actually pretty funny. I laugh when I see that the kid talks in broken English (not because he did not speak English when he was born. THOSE parents know the deal. You will NEVER see those kids growing on those circumstances).

Something you people should think about, if a child does not learn his/her alphabet colors and numbers by kindergarden, they have an 80% chance of dropping out of high school.

And becoming a statistic.

I am a statistic though.

95% Sexy dark chocolate male. 5% Short.

The short is not that important.

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

Many people ask me what is my actual reason for writing these rants. I mean, I try to educate the youth, (Jacques luh da kiiidzzz), I try to provoke conversations after reading, and I try to turn as many girls on with my written words as possible.

You can wipe the keyboard now - nasty.

Weave.

That one word strikes so many emotions in many people. Most black men, white women, and white men laugh hysterically. Now before I catch fire from all of my black female readers I point to the disclaimer...and my lower body.

Yes. Suck it.

I am talking about my toes.

Ugh nasty either way. I am ashamed.

But weave is basically horse hair died and created in China for giving women with out the blessing of long hair - long hair. Or if they need a new and intense style change, they can use this also. Or if they are in their lesbian stage in life and they need to show up to dinner with the parents that do not understand that their daughter loves the box -

This is for them too.

(To any lesbians reading this, I am only kidding. I love you people. Really.)

But it is sometime necessary for some people to carry on the look they have.

Now I have a sister and a mother (obviously) so I have a basic grasp on black female hair. Now some Hispanic girls are born with this hair (their mothers cry about it everyday) and it must be taken care of properly in order to grow in CORRECTLY. Now do not misunderstand me here, it MUST be taken care of.

Now every black girl had her "doodoo" braids part of life. This is the part of life which is probably the funniest all together and most entertaining. When my own sister had this, before she became all mean and intellectual and pretty and stuff, the insults would rain down on her like Sodom and Gomorrah.

I mean we were supportive, but damn vicious. Thirteen long years she had that doodoo inspired hair, then she got it permed and she had nice hair after that.

Now would you like to know where a lot of black girls went wrong?

They get their hair permed at 4 years old.

What happens with that? They ruin their hair. For pretty much the rest of their lives.

Now, do not get me wrong some girls look great with the short hair but that ruins it.

Then they get the weave. The weave is an integral part. I am proud to say NONE of my family members uses weave. Now I know some girls walking down the street use weave, but that is a problem they must settle on their own.

But that is like me wearing ACG boots to get a few inches on my height yanno?

Ugh. If I was only taller...

Disclaimer- Everything to follow this is completely satirical. It is not meant for anyone to catch feelings. These comments are childish, immature, and nonfactual.

No matter what anyone says or what anyone tries to make you think, religion plays an integral part in everyone's life. It is on our money, it is everywhere, and during the throws of sexual passion it is on everyone's mouth.

Ew. Sexual passion...mouth...lol.

Now we are constantly treading the fine line of religion and reason and sometimes you must veer to one side, but one thing I am very adamant about is -

(Its not gay marriage...they can do what ever they want)

Sex on Sunday.

Yes.

Sex on a Sunday is going against everything we are raised taught to do on a regular basis. Now we are all thought to not have sex before marriage, (unlike me, I am a virgin...virgin fo lyfe), not to drink, (some of you are hungover/drunk reading this RIGHT now), and not to play with yourself.

Now church/state are separated and that is great for the other minority religions in this country to practice their own and speak out.

But sex on a Sunday? Strict no no. I am really cool for all day Saturday and all day Monday and even Sunday night, but sex on a time where we are supposed to be going to church is just downright disrespectful. That makes me think though, what is wrong with us now a days that we need specific rules to govern when I stick my peniculour muscle in her vigrinitus griptus.

Now the main argument against sex on Sunday is that I should be going to church as it is. Now many people I know DO NOT go to church so they do not care, but we are supposed to. So if I wake up next to a girl and she wants to do it, BUT I am supposed to be praising the Lord at that same time...it is not going to happen.

Tease all you want, I do not want Jesus asking me why I was getting down with the business of getting down when I was supposed to be singing.

Now, I am all about sex on Saturday GOING INTO Sunday which or even Sunday night, but Sunday morning? Get out.

People get excommunicated for that kind of stuff.

Does this not raise an interesting question? In college it is rare to see a very religious kid. The most common saying has to be,

"When did I realize if I was God? When I was praying and I felt I was talking to myself"

Everyone's idea of religion should be respected no matter WHAT the idea is.

Now no matter what, if you are hitting it right you are going to hear God during sex.

In many languages.

Lets not get into death.

Adios Meo.

That was DEFINITELY spelt wrong.