Without exams, papers, and dining-hall-induced digestive issues, summer should be easy and relaxing, right? SO EXTREMELY WRONG! Take moviegoing, second only to outdoor drinking on the Summer Fun Index. Your quest for entertainment is actually a modern retelling of the ancient hero's journey. Your experience will be exactly like Star Wars, the Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and countless other epics! Just less exciting, and with uglier actors.
THE HERO'S DEPARTURE
"I'm sooo bored. Let's do something. Let's see a movie." The call to adventure! You might be skeptical at first. All the best heroes are. Important questions stand in your way: What is "the matrix"? What is "the force"? What movies don't suck this week? As you learn the answers, avoid being seduced by power and turning evil (see: Vader, Voldemort, Lucifer, Gollum). In your case, consider the "dark side" to be anyone who spells movie theater with an "re. (The THEATRE is for Neil Simon plays, black berets and the French. The THEATER is for Jerry Bruckheimer and America. You're going to the theater.)
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