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	<title>If 21st Century Girls Had 17th Century Standards</title>
	<pubDate>Tue, 13 May 2008 18:03:26 -0400</pubDate>
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    		<![CDATA[<p><div class="right_a3 small_a3 border_a3"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/7/collegehumor.2c98ef72bdaeef18c054a997bf676d56.jpg" width="150"  /></div><div class="right_a3 small_a3 noborder_a3"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/b/collegehumor.fefc9f8b2f9e83993a482b8b74bd0e23.jpg" width="150"  /></div><i>Tricia and Kara, two extremely hot girls, are laying out in the quad. </i><br  /></p><p><b>Tricia</b>: Oh my god, Kara, take a look at Henry Popper over there laying on the bench.<br  /><br  /><b>Kara</b>: Wow. Look at that healthy, full gut. He must be like, totally well fed and wealthy. <br  /><br  /><b>Tricia</b>: Seriously. He must get to eat rich, dairy-based foods and meats, like, all the time. <br  /><b><br  />Kara</b>: Compared to Biff Ryland over there playing Frisbee, all sinewy and shirtless.<br  /><br  /><b>Tricia</b>: Effing gross. Look at those abs and well-defined delts. Uhh, can you spell "field laborer?" <br  /><br  /><b>Kara</b>: Haha, you're such a bitch, Tricia. <br  /><br  /><b>Tricia</b>: It's true! Ew, and that bronze tan? Girl I want a man that owns the land, NOT works on it. <br  /></p><p><b>Kara</b>: Ew, Biff even has that "cut V" thing going on near his crotch.</p><b>Tricia: </b>Sheesh, why doesn't he just wear a sign that says, "I don't get to eat figgy pudding with gravy very often."</>
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    		Written 2008-05-13 18:03:26    			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1484743">David Siegel&#60;/a>
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	<title>Futurism: 2016</title>
	<pubDate>Mon, 05 May 2008 17:44:11 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754611</link>
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    		Written 2008-05-05 17:44:11    			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:43301">Adam Hrabik&#60;/a>
    			    				<![CDATA[ &nbsp;from]]> &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:569"><![CDATA[]]>&#60;/a>
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