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Thursday, Dec 3 2009
Even Worse Than Twilight
by Caldwell Tanner just now

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Wednesday, Dec 2 2009
The Wisdom of King Solomon
by Patrick Cassels just now

KING SOLOMON: We will cut the baby in half!

MOTHER: No, don't harm the child! I'd rather lose it than see the baby killed.

GUARD: Surely, she must be the true mother to care for the baby so! (to King) You are wise, King Solomon! (calling) Have the next subject come forward with his case.

A Farmer enters.

FARMER: Your Highness, I cannot feed my family. My cow is sick.

KING SOLOMON: (thinks) We will cut the cow in half!

FARMER: Forgive me, your Highness. But how would that help, exactly?

GUARD: Do not question the King's wisdom. Next case!

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Today
5 Star Wars Status Updates
by Brian Murphy 3 hours ago

_________________________________________________________________________________________

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Thursday, Nov 19 2009
Honest HBO Warnings
by Jeff Rubin 4 days ago

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Every Part of the Buffalo
by Patrick Cassels 4 days ago

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Tuesday, Nov 17 2009
5 Famous Last Status Updates
by Conor McKeon November 17, 2009

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No Droids Allowed
by Ben Joseph November 17, 2009

"Oh, no, we're not together."

Luke, C-3PO and R2-D2 walk into the Mos Eisley Cantina. The Bartender stops them.

Bartender: Hey! We don't serve their kind here!

Luke: What?

Bartender: Your droids. They'll have to wait outside.

C-3PO and RD-D2 turn to leave.

Bartender: Oh, sorry, the short one can stay. Just not the shiny, prissy one.

Luke: I'm sorry?

Bartender: The effeminate one with the lisp. We don't serve his kind here.

C-3PO: Apologies, sir, it's a British accent. If it offends you, I can certainly...

Luke cuts him off.

Luke: What are you trying to say, buddy?

Bartender: I just think there are some cantinas on the west side that might be more his speed.

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Fatawesome: The Sculptor
by Fatawesome November 17, 2009

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Monday, Nov 16 2009
5 Windows 7 Features You Probably Didn't Know About
by Jason Michaels November 16, 2009

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Friday, Nov 13 2009
Drunk-O-Vision IX
by Streeter Seidell November 13, 2009

Things look a little different when you're drunk...
Sober :: Drunk

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Thursday, Nov 12 2009
Classic Titles Made Sarcastic With Quotation Marks
by Patrick Cassels November 12, 2009

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The Coolest Rollerblade Trick
by Streeter Seidell November 12, 2009

Get the most out of your blades in 3 easy steps!

Step 1!
As strange as it seems, the first step is removing your rollerblades. Wacky, I know, but trust me!

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Wednesday, Nov 11 2009
Pickup Lines Of 10 Historical Figures: Part 2
by Conor McKeon November 11, 2009

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Tuesday, Nov 10 2009
I Think the Google Logo Designer Is Having Marital Problems
by David Young November 10, 2009

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Monday, Nov 9 2009
If Moms Wrote Science Textbooks
by Sarah Schneider November 09, 2009

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Amazing Superpowers
by AmazingSuperPowers November 09, 2009

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Friday, Nov 6 2009
5 Useful New Photoshop Filters, Vol. 2
by Owen Parsons November 06, 2009

Tired of your old Photoshop filters? Adobe just released five new ones to make your life even better (or at least seem that way).

Roll over each image to see the new filters in action.

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Thursday, Nov 5 2009
5 Inappropriate Situations To Twitter
by Conor McKeon November 05, 2009

Disclaimer: Tweets are chronologically backwards for the sake of readability

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A Reading from the N00b Testament
by Caldwell Tanner November 05, 2009

more at loldwell.com

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Tuesday, Nov 3 2009
CollegeHumor Interview

Weird Al

by Jeff Rubin November 03, 2009

Weird Al has adapted to the Internet better than any other artist from the 80's. His Chamillionaire parody "White and Nerdy" has over 50 million views on YouTube, and is currently one of the site's most popular videos of all-time. The song was his career peak, going all the way to#9 on the Billboard Hot 100 (his previous best - "Eat It" at #12 in1984). Since then he's explored digital distribution which, for the first time in his three decade career, has allowed him to parody current events and songs that are popular right now. Really, it's hard to believe Weird Al survived at all - much less thrived - before iTunes and YouTube. He recently released The Essential Weird Al collects 38 of Al's best songs into two discs.

CollegeHumor: How did you decide which were the greatest hits from your distinguished career?

Weird Al: It was tough. I've got twelve studio albums of material and I did have to leave off a lot of stuff that some fans think should have been on the essentials collection. There's some historically important ones missing. "My Bologna," isn't even on there, which was my first pseudo-hit. Even though My Bologna was historically important, it wasn't so brilliant I would consider it among my best work. So I had to weigh fan favorites with what I thought were songs that actually merited being on a best-of compilation.

CH: So you hand picked the songs yourself?

WA: I did, yeah.

CH: When you were going through your earlier albums, did you rediscover any material that you'd forgotten about?

WA: I don't think I'd actually literally forgotten about any of it but it was kinda nice to listen to some of the old tracks again that I hadn't heard in a while. It also was an opportunity to clean up a couple things. This new collection is completely remastered. It's not remixed, but we cleaned it up. I won't mention where exactly because I don't want people to obsess over it the way I did, but there were a couple songs that had a few little pops and ticks and just little things that probably most people have never heard before in their life but they'd been bugging me for 25 years.

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Caldwell Tanner
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