So you're spending Spring Break at home. That doesn't mean you can't have fun! Rollover these classic Spring Break brochures for their Spring Break At Home translations.

Hardass Dad

If you think straight A's, varsity athletics, and charity work are going to impress this Dad, you better shut the f*@# up and not speak unless spoken to. Party tonight? Sure, but get your ass home by 2100 or you're shining each pair of his combat boots twice. Conversations with Hardass Dad are almost always 80% threat, 15% pep talk, and 5% bulging forehead vein. No matter what you're talking about, he'll find a way to make you revert back to a sputtering 13 year-old. Also, if you were thinking about inviting a few friends over on Saturday, don't. He thinks that Josh punk is bad news and don't even get him started on Chris, that long-haired, pansy, pinko.

Business Dad

You can track Business Dad's mood based on the ups and downs of the stock market--and he's been pretty pissy for the last two years. You'll always cherish those times when it was just you and him (and his two blackberries, Palm Pilot, iPhone, and pager). You haven't seen him at dinner since you were three, but remember all those times he ALMOST made it to your [insert significant life event]? The bright side is that Business Dad has a pretty low embarrassing factor…well, until he gets arrested for embezzling millions. But hey, that sure was a nice Range Rover you got for your Sweet Sixteen (before it was repossessed in the middle of your first date, of course).

Earlier this year, many Toyota owners discovered a minor glitch with their automobiles: turns out the cars regarded driver input as secondary to their love of accelerating and the delicious sound of human screams. No big deal, unless you own a Toyota, or know a Toyota owner, or live on the ground floor of your home where the Toyotas can get to you.

Now Toyota's marketing department is struggling to put a positive spin on the incident. Here are five ads from their latest campaigns:

Fairy tales aren't as wholesome as they seem. Roll over the images to see what these stories should really be called...

I think China's trying to send us a message...

Disclaimer: tweets are chronologically backward for the sake of readability.