The Honeymoon's Over

Now, Torga, you know I love you very much. That is why I conquered the horde at Nurmijaarvi last month in your name. That is why, along with my trusty brother-in-arms Relkiska, I halted the onslaught of that Baltic bastard Borggata and his...

To Whom it May Concern:

To Whom It May Concern:I am a resident of your building (Bellissima Condominiums Phase II) and have enjoyed living here for nearly twelve years now. In my time as a tenant, I have had my share of small problems, most of which have been remedied...

David Bowie As He Begins To Regret The Whole Ziggy Stardust Thing

Look at yourself, David. What is this lightning bolt makeup business? Why the gold lamé trousers and purple sequined shirts? What’s all this supposed to be? Those knee-high black-and-white-striped vinyl boots you wore on stage last night...

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,I met a nice girl the other day. Her name is Samantha. She was on the same aisle as me at the Food Lion. We were both buying soup. I accidentally ran into her cart, and I apologized, but she said it was ok. She looked at me and smiled...

To The Douche Who Broke My Model Airplane

Dear Dirtbag,I know where you live. If I didn’t, would this letter be under your door? No. I know what you look like. You look like a big dumpy butthole that farts a lot. You are losing your hair and that goatee you grew to compensate is...

Why Flickr Sponsered Presidential Debate Didn't Really Work

To Whom it May Concern:

To Whom It May Concern:I am a resident of your building (Bellissima Condominiums Phase II) and have enjoyed living here for nearly twelve years now. In my time as a tenant, I have had my share of small problems, most of which have been remedied...