105%-O-Matic's Articles

1 total in October 2008

  • 105%

    Issue #80

    by 105%-O-Matic 3 days ago


    This week's episode: "The Prague Heist!"

    I really hate swimming. Except when I'm drowning. Then I suddenly think its awesome.
    -Andrew Gundrum
    Priceline Hostage Negotiator
    Gunman: If you don't get me a plane, I'm gonna start offin' hostages!
    PHN: Don't worry, I got you your plane! Here's the ticket.
    Gunman: You're charging me $99 for a coach seat on a commercial flight with a layover in Atlanta? You're awful at this.
    -Andrew B.
    From time to time I wish I could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.
    -Jay Walker
    Academic research tip
    I developed this new research technique for when I have a paper to write on a historical figure: I Google the person's name, except I drop the last name and anagram the first. So for George Washington, I'd Google "eorgge". The only problem is it does not work at all.
    -William Way
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