105%-O-Matic's Articles

3 total in September 2009

  • 105%

    Issue One Hundred and Twenty-Six

    by 105%-O-Matic September 24, 2009


    Shark Week

    Did you hear the one about the appendix? It's a real side-splitter!
    -Ryan Manning
    I walked in on my parents having sex
    You should see my face on the video tape
    -Joseph Flowers
    Confused Entourage Fan at the Emmys
    "How the hell did Kevin Dillon miss out on a best drama nomination *again*?"
    -Jim Awesome
    Douchebag? Or Schizophrenic Douchebag?
    I think my sick Ed Hardy shirt speaks for itself.
    -Conor McKeon
    I just got done reading a book about podiatry. The footnotes were incredible.
    -Joey Diaferia
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  • 105%

    Issue One Hundred and Twenty-Five

    by 105%-O-Matic September 17, 2009


    In color. Actually, two colors: black and white.

    In school, I gave 110%. No wonder I failed math.
    -Eric Van Der Schlogen
    My grandfather winked at me when he told a secret, turns out the secret was that he was having a stroke.
    -Will Martin
    Most boring super-hero battle ever
    Aquaman vs. Storm IN OUTER SPACE.
    -Gregory Gorasil
    I just had a really nice dinner and a lot of wine at the Space Needle in Seattle. I got so drunk the room felt like it wasn't spinning.
    -Evan O'Toole
    I wonder how cheerleaders on strike protest.
    -The NTC
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  • 105%

    Issue One Hundred and Twenty-Four

    by 105%-O-Matic September 10, 2009


    Suitable for all ages except the Renaissance.

    Door knobs have the most germs, we should stop telling people to slob on them.
    -Andrew Roth
    I thought it was ironic that my girlfriend had to work on "Labor" Day, though I'm assuming irony wasn't the first thought of whoever had to clean up the placenta in her cubicle.
    -Conor McKeon
    I've known my best friend since we were in diapers. We met in 7th grade. Middle school was kind of awkward...
    -Jon W
    Screw Top Wines...
    The motto of the people who drink them.
    -Joe Petro
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105%-O-Matic Bucks County Community College

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