I hate falling asleep in class. Now don't get me wrong, I love sleep. I'd make sweet sweet chocolate sex to my fluffy head rest if it had the right equipment. There's something genuine about being able to slay hundreds of bloodthirsty zombies one second and caress a 10 foot boob the next. But I cannot stand falling asleep in class. If class is boring I'll catch a few Zs no problem.

That's not the problem.

The problem is falling asleep in class. I'm talking about head lolling, eyes half-open bugged out looking like a cracked out deer in high beams falling asleep. You know how your head does that bobble-head deal, where you lose connection with your neck muscles and your head flops over like a wet blanket? You can't help but snap out of that sucker. Not only that, but it feels like you're leaning out of a 20 story building and slip on bird shit. Then you have to check your 6, 3, 9, and every other time to make sure no-one caught you. You're sitting there using every once of effort to keep your eyes open. Every once in a while you have to blink 5 or 6 times, and it feels like you have to flex every muscle in your body to make your eyes open and shut. Not only that, but by now you've attracked avid followers. Your head spazzes, body falls out, eyes bug and all these fools thinks it's the damn Fouth of July.

I hate falling asleep in class. Some of ya'll love it, and the rest love watching. So the next time my body feels like putting on a doped-up marionette act, I'll call you, you get your friends, we'll make a game of it. Maybe some of my dreams will show. 10 foot boobs ftw.

Dear Santa,

It's about that time Santa.That?s right, I hope your elves have beenslaving extra hard this year because I?ve been rocking the good deeds list likeRambo on a roid rage.So listen up youHolly Jolly hunk of holiday fluff.All Iwant this year is a Batman utility belt jock-strap-esque suppressed Glock gunbelt with grenade accessible, multi-clip carrying capabilities.You let me down last year with the StingerMissiles but I got over it.I evenspared that 10 year old his left patella remember?Now I know we?ve had some rough patches andreally hope you liked the ATV I sent you.It?s not Datsun, or Blixen or whatever the hell that damn moose?s nameis but dammit man if you let them rampage around my complex like that, they aregoing to get sniped, no questions. OK?

Anyways, Little Timmy?s got trenchfoot again so I would suggest better boots for him and the rest of the kids arerunning out of psychedelics, the Cubans can?t keep up so maybe the elves canpick up the slack.We?re hurting downhere Big Man.Chief?s breathing down my neck and we justneed something with a little extra oomf.So treat us to something good and we won?t flak you this year I swear.Take care, slip the Mrs. A surprise one forme and radio in for landing coordinates for your touch and go.

Sincerely,
Joe