Mac's Articles

3 total in July 2007
  • Inspiration

    Every great artist has their moments of inspiration, from which masterpieces are born.Yet, in this fast paced, high energy, microwave-my-iPhone-for-some-tasty-YouTube-juice world, we tend to forget the real reasons for such deep, soul-touching renditions of life.




        Fuck me I'm hungry!







     

      Oh yeah? My dick is THIS big.   







     

     
      That dyslexic little asswipe's gonna get what he deserves
     


     







      What did you say was in these brownies?











     
      Oh god, I'm Coming DOWWWNNNN!!!!


     







      If I touch my left big toe to my eye ball, dolphins will jump out of my ass.  Damn this shit is good.

     









     
      You don't remember much of last night do you?  I do, it was fun

     



  • Sexual Chocolate

    *inspiration from baaaaaallin, and Pop Doc Noisewater’s friend





    Driving down, to Chinatown, by way of Indiana,


    A blue striped globe, and flashing strobe,


    Caught our eyes in a city.


    We pulled over, set to stride and gazed upon what field,


    Ten thousand men and women stood,


    in a championship of track and shield.


    I felt a buzzing in my soul, and looked around for help,


    My friends had gone to frolic on,


    They were up to some shit.


    And sexual chocolate gripped my heart


    I did not see, but felt it.


     


    I cruised the mob, let out a sob,


    Where’d my friends gone now?


    I looked around and heard a sound,


    A smack, a lick and grind.


    Turned left and right, didn’t feel it go,


    But surely I’d lost my mind.


    Shotputs soar, and pumped fans roar,


    As runners grow wings and fly.


    But I’m deaf to all their screams and spit


    Sexual chocolate, I hear it.




    The crowd dies down,


    Starts milling around, and an opening appears


    There he lies with thunder thighs,


    With mischief seeping from him.


     

    That fat man with the turkey leg,


    Belly full of Mitch and Greg


    And I can’t help but feel it in my bones.


    Hoffa, they say’s his name,


    Like a legend born of flame.


    Many know him,


    Some might fear him


    But he’s sexual chocolate if I ever saw it.







  • An ancient Japanese Art

    Hairo young grasshopper and wercome to Master Kurosake’s Makesoutai Dojo.By the time I’m done with you, you wirr no ronger attempt stupid American mouth mash and wirr trury know the sacred art of makesoutaike.You think furr frontar face bash sexy?You dead wrong stupidosan.I teach you very very basic techniques.

     

    1.Crouching Dragon Hunting Fuzzy Bunny:The approach must be perfect.None of this Rittre Rascars smoochy face, I’rr judo chop you in the adzuki beans next time you pucker lips like constipated crane asshore.Approach your opponent with crear eye and face of steel.Then, at two inches, attack with speed and grace of dragon.Bob the head stupidosan, BOB THE HEAD!!

     

    2.Tiger Stretching on Bed of Grass:No no no butterhead.Don’t choke opponent with boa tongue.Extend rike back of tiger, brush across opponent’s tongue rike bed of grass.What?Bed of grass.No, knead the ass come rater.

     

    3.Feel the Chi:Ret hands wander rike gracefur panda across mountains.They must ascend the peaks of sacred ancestors at smooth pace.Do not attack rike angry monkey.Forrow the chi of opponent and ret them find their own way.Remember, at peak of holy mountains, wax on, wax off.Very good stupidosan.Now, knead the ass.You not retard horse boy, knead with confidence!!

     

    4.Channel Your Chi:Control it or I cut it off.

     

    Last but very least stupidosan, you must show me you have mastered all that I have taught you.Remember, if you drown in sake, keep your eyes at your opponent’s eyes, beware of monkey steal the peach, many good man farr to hands of pissed off woman.

     

     



Mac Mizzou

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