1) Greenman Suit
Inspired by: America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest (also, The Gang Gets Invincible)
The ultimate gift for an Always Sunny Fan. Be prepared to see more of your friend's crotch than you ever hoped to see.

2) Fight Club
Inspired by: Hundred Dollar Baby
The movie that inspired the episode that inspired this gift idea. Phewf.

3) Poker Chip Set
Inspired by: Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody
Give your friend the tools he needs to set up his own Vietnamese gambling ring in the basement. Just make sure those tools don't include guns.

4) Lifesize Cutouts of Sinbad and Rob Thomas
Inspired by: Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life
Your friend will probably hate you for this a few months down the road, but for now, you are the king of giving presents.

5) Magnet
Inspired by: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Magnets, the ultimate hobby. For bonus points, boil a steak in honey and milk.

• Starting Monday we'll be running our annual Costume Contest at collegehumor.com/halloween and, thanks to Six Flags, the winner will be getting $1000.
• We'll also be giving special awards on the homepage in such diverse categories as Best Group, Most Original, Least Practical, and Most Effort.
  
• And, as always, we'll be combing through your thousands of submissions, picking the best few hundred, and making fun of them non-stop in the pictures section all week.
  

• Sheet
  
• Scissors
• Legs
  
• Heels
  

• Make sure to yell "boo" at least once during orgasm
  

• Too-tight T-shirt with stupid pattern on it
• Too-tight jeans
• Hair gel
• Imported beer
• Cigarette
• Scarf

• Scoff at most things people say
• Dance with your hands only, no hips
• Be generally obnoxious and dismissive of American customs

• Filthy dress shirt
  
• Loose necktie
  
• Bottle of whiskey
  
• Red blush for gin blossoms on nose and cheeks (or just rub your face raw all night, you'll probably be too drunk to feel it)
  

• Hit on younger girls
  
• Request Billy Ocean songs all night
  
• Pretend your excessive drinking is "just part of the costume"

Well droids and ghouls, it's that time of year again. Time for you to dress sluttily without shame, nerdily without persecution, and bad-assily without muscles. That's right, it's Halloween!

During the week after Halloween, we'll be hosting our annual Best Halloween Costume Picture Contest at www.collegehumor.com/halloween. Additionally, we'll have a bunch of smaller Homepage Contests, such as Best Group, Most Original, Most Effort and Least Practical. And thanks to Six Flags Fright Fest, we actually have prizes this year!

The Best Overall Halloween Costume will win $1,000 and two 2010 Season Passes to Six Flags. Second and third place will win $300 and $200 respectively, and each of the Homepage Contests will win $100. We are not messing around this year.

So start sending in your Halloween costume pictures! We'll accept submissions on a rolling basis until Friday, November 6th, but the earlier the better, so don't delay. And Happy Halloween!

If you like blogging, and the Winter Olympics, and Jake and Amir, then boy do we have a contest almost freakishly tailored to you. Microsoft Office is searching for two bloggers to cover this year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver, and the winners will be decided by none other than our very own Jake and Amir! Also someone named Bonnie Blair who won some gold medals and stuff.

Sound like fun? Click here to enter your name and blog and within a few months you could be watching Cool Runnings LIVE. Feel the rhythm!

Bonus Points:

-Experience with SPL a major plus
-e-commerce, credit card authorizations, and billing feature experience
-Linux or Solaris
-jQuery or Prototype
-Content Delivery Networks
-Version Control Systems (we use Subversion)
-Experience building scalable frameworks

Your dorkwad responsibilities would be to:

-Implement major new features and feature improvements
-Track and squash bugs
-Optimize code and queries for better performance
-Database Architecting