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Recently I got the chance to interview the super sweet, super nice and super hot Big 10 Playboy girl Jamie Graham, a 21-year-old senior and Marketing major at Ohio State. We chatted it up on the phone for a bit, then after I thought she was getting a tad bit too into me, I just had to end it. On my terms.

Do your parents have any idea you posed in Playboy naked for the Big10 issue?
Umm...my mom does and I'm telling my dad tonight. I'm actually calling my dad after this interview to tell him.

From Free-Range Chickens.


Observation: None of the girls in my class think that I'm cool.

Research: My older brother told me that the political hardcore band Rage Against the Machine is cool.

Hypothesis: If I pretend to be really into the political hardcore band Rage Against the Machine, then the girls in my class will think that I'm cool.

Materials:
1 Rage Against the Machine album
1 Rage Against the Machine T-shirt
1 Rage Against the Machine bandanna

Methods:
1) Wear the T-shirt and bandanna every single day for an entire month.
2) Make fun of everybody in the class for listening to bands that are less politically intense than Rage Against the Machine. Especially make fun of the girls who I am trying to impress.
3) Quote Rage Against the Machine lyrics constantly, regardless of the situation.
4) If someone asks me what I'm talking about, roll my eyes and say, "You probably wouldn't get it. It has to do with communism."
5) If someone calls my bluff and asks me what communism is, bang my fist against the table and say, "God, stop being such a poser!"

Was your hypothesis correct? No.