Steve Hofstetter's Articles

1 total in May 2007

  • The Honest Campus Tour Guide

    Here's another building I don't give a sh*t about!
    Welcome, prospective students. I'm here to show you a very superficial version of what your life could be like for the next four years because I need the money. I don't actually care if you come here. I might say I do, but seriously, who the f*ck are you? Man, I'm hung over.

    To your left is the library. You'll spend a lot of time there pretending to study while you're actually on Facebook. It's a lot harder to study in a large area full of people than it is to study in your quiet bedroom. But you're not there to study, you're there to pick up chicks. Oh, and freshman year you'll have some teacher who gives you a project that involves finding specific books so you can learn about how the library works, as if you'll ever actually read a book instead of plagiarizing off the web. Whatever.

    To your right, you'll see the dining hall. There, your parents will pony up $13 a meal for you to have overcooked pasta and wilted lettuce. You will complain about how bad the food is, but still steal as much of it as you can.

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    • Steve Hofstetter Columbia

    About Me

    Steve is the most booked comedian on the college market, and would be playing your school shortly if you got off your fat ass and requested him.

    CollegeHumor.com's original columnist, Hofstetter is currently enjoying his status as the sketchy old guy. The host of the syndicated Sports Minute (Or So), Hofstetter is a regular on radio stations everywhere, and not just when he calls to request Enya.

    His new album, "Cure for the Cable Guy" is available in stores and on itunes, and is extremely popular with everyone except Larry the Cable Guy. Jay Leno compared him to a young Jerry Seinfeld, which is awesome because Jerry Seinfeld is very funny. His half million MySpace and Facebook friends agree.

    He also thinks you're hot.

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